It’s the best rule there is

Been a while since I did a post about Rule 18. Why? Oh, probably because that series isn’t really femdom and no one likes it. But I was thinking… do I actually care what my readers like? Do they deserve to see stuff they like? The answer to both questions has to be no, of course not. And you know you don’t deserve that, if you’re honest with yourselves, don’t you, hmm? That’s right. So this is what you get today.

For anyone confused, beyond the normal male mental fog, ‘Rule 18’ is from Servitor’s (rather presumptuous and impertinent) advice to a novice domme and it states “try to avoid sessions with clients who have really specific fetishes and can’t get off unless it is exactly right.”

Mostly just silly pictures, but some have captions. Oh – and at the end, some illustrations of why Rule 3 matters, too.

To comply with decency laws, the picture has been cropped to avoid showing what is holding up the central peg. Incidentally, in English croquet, unlike the American version, you don’t hold either of the pairs of balls down with your foot when you whack them with the mallet. Though that does sound fun.
“Of course it is! Gahhh – it’s ruined now!” (Rule 18, ma’am, rule 18…)
And this one too. He said green wellies, dammit. Green!
If they finish the piece and he doesn’t clap, they’ll beat the crap out of him, of course. Oh, and if he does he’ll collapse, they’ll fall off and then they’ll… well, I’m sure you can guess.
I hope she’s remembered to bring all the latex, this time.
Don’t ask. She just wants to get it over with.
Best to hold the session when the tide’s going out, I’ve heard.
Now that’s just obscene. Do people really…?
Howl!

Post-script: I promised you some Rule 3 illustrations too. Rule 3? Oh, yeah, sure: “You are not expected to have sex with your clients. Thank goodness.” Basically, just images of particularly unattractive malesubs*, especially in the presence of a gorgeous goddess.

Divine Mistress Heather, of course, kindly letting her sub land in water for the practice attempt before the filming starts.

* I suppose some people might object to my sneering at the appearance of people who are – after all – just male submissives like myself. Why should they be singled out to be degraded and humiliated, by my mocking them in this way? Isn’t it unfair? And the answer is yes, of course, it is: they really ought to be paying for this treatment, the cheap little bastards. But hey, it’s nearly Christmas, right? They can have this one as a freebie.

When she clicks her fingers

I can simultaneously be desperate, lazy and incompetent, can’t I? I thought women were in favour of multitasking.
I think her defeated male opponents are just sore losers.
Teachers love hearing from their former pupils, especially ones who have gone on to develop successful businesses or professional careers.
Try to enter the spirit of the thing by being horribly embarassed and hating every moment. Remember: they’re laughing at you not with you.

Image reminds me of my favourite ever search term, back when this blog was on blogger (you got to see search terms that led ‘readers’ there), which was “tutu humiliation -bishop -desmond”.

He was also going to report them for smoking in a public building, so they use him to dispose of the evidence.
I don’t see what’s crazy about that. I mean it’s a nice car, but…

She knows, she just doesn’t care

Erm, right, thank you, Ma’am.. Miss… Ma’am. Yes… well, you see, it’s like this. I don’t – or at least, let me start another way, erm…well, I’ve been thinking, erm… in my own time, obviously, and, errr… well…
Salmon? What – real fresh salmon? Then how is she ever going to persude him to eat the tin of disgusting, gristly cat food with jelly I saw her get out? I’m not sure she’s thought this through.
What an astonishing plot arc. They’ll win prizes for originality for that, for sure.
Marie’s not really selfish. She was just enjoying herself so much she didn’t think about how much she was leaving for others to play with, that’s all. Don’t judge her harshly.
Don’t worry: these bouts are more about play-acting than real violence. Anyway, I expect the medics can sew it back on; I’m pretty sure she didn’t swallow.
Looks like a nice gentle start to the session… maybe you should try some brattish behaviour, to liven things up?

Someone to look up to

What she doesn’t realise is that I always do my best… it’s just usually rubbish, that’s all. Fortunately, I’ve had a lot of practice at scurrying.
She can resist anything except temptation.
At the OWK there’s always a bucket available, in case one of the slaves feels sick. Usually it’s just the bucket the food comes in, actually.
Of course, I don’t necessarily know that this is actually what happened behind closed doors, and I’m just imagining a scene that happens to fit what I would like it to have been. So… just like the actual series, The Crown, then.
His name won’t go down in the record books along with hers, but his scream will be what a lot of viewers remember, when watching the footage of that historic day. Plus, he got to attend the medal ceremony, curled up and sobbing on the grass by the podium. It did delay his trip to hospital but how many times in your life are you going to be the target of a world-record ball-busting kick?
I guess he was asking for it. But not paying… so unfair.

Elegant arrogance

I once told a girl that I was really into sexy lingerie, and I got a full basket – all handwash only! Best date ever.
There’s no right and wrong way to do this sort of thing, of course: her method’s good, too.
My SO obviously has no personal experience of how painful her ‘little toys’ are, but she does like to hear all about it, in as much detail as I can shriek.
I once asked a pro-domme to choose her one favourite fantasy, for our session: whatever she wanted, no holds barred. So we played ‘Pay double and fuck off’, which turned out to be deliciously humiliating.
Trust is very important in a marriage – right up there with obedience.
There’s a tradition that the targets of the winning team get to go out to the winners’ podium with them – well, actually it’s better than that: they get to be the winners’ podium. So you could be in with a chance of participating in the medal ceremony.

Seductive reasoning

I break easily.

 

Simon, like many alphas, sometimes finds it hard to understand subs.  It’s not his fault, of course: it’s because he’s a male and males are stupid.

 

 

She briefly renamed him “Whiny, pleady pathetic cry-baby” but ended up with the rather unsurprising “Skinny Bastard”. 

 I believe this sweet lady is Mistress Tess.  I’m sure she can help you, too, discover a new healthier lifestyle, if you ask very nicely.

 

 

Lots of men have irrational fears about castration. OK, just occasionally those fears might be rational but there’s no point in brooding on these things and letting them ruin your life.

 

 

 

The World Sadistic Games are much more fun to watch than regular sporting competitions.  The Ladies’ Javelin, for instance, which not only involves strength and the ability to throw far but also tests the athletes’ aim.

 

 

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