absolutely no upskirt – Page 5 – Contemplating the divine

Femdom captions once again

With apologies for the unimaginative but search engine-friendly headline. Just supply your own feeble femdom-related pun if you’re missing it.

Oh – and if you’re a search engine? Hi there. Welcome. Femdom. Femdom caption. Dominatrix. Dominatrix. Governess. Spanking. Bandicoots. No, no bandicoots. This is what we do here:

Don’t worry. She’ll be there with you the whole time. With a bit of luck, you’ll still just be conscious when she comes – won’t that be nice?

He goes to confession too.

She’s such a professional. Sometimes the same caning scene will require eight or nine complete takes before she’s satisfied.

Astute observers of financial markets might realise that I created this caption a long time ago (I don’t always post captions as soon as I do them, in fact I have about 180 waiting to be posted – isn’t that nice?) – because the Euro is no longer particularly high. I expect that was the first thing that caught your eye when you looked at this one, right? Right?

Doesn’t she look sweet? Try to remember that, because your eyes will be too sore to open quite soon.

Smack addiction

I’ll admit it, I have one.

How can you resist those eyes? Go on – it’s only agony.

He’ll soon discover that she plans to satisfy his chastity fantasy in a rather literal way too. Well… when I say “soon”, I mean he’ll discover that over a period of several months.

Of course, she knows it’s all superstitutious nonsense really. But it’s better to be safe than sorry, don’t you think? You never know – there might be something in it.

So…just in time to spend the rest of the lesson being beaten for being late. Perfect timing, really.

But she does them a small kindness by blindfolding them first. It does give them just a few more seconds before they realise what’s about to happen, and start screaming hysterically in fear.

How do I love her, let me count the ways

One thank You, Ma’am
Two, thank You, Ma’am
Three, thank You, Ma’am
uh – four, thank You, Ma’am!
Five – oh – thank You, Ma’am!
sniff…whimper…
SIX! Aaah! Six thank You, Ma’am!
Thank You, thank You.

Thank You.

Very politely. Or you’ll really be in trouble.

With three of them lesbians and three bisexual, I guess there are going to be some interesting votes. Shame you don’t get to vote, really.

Don’t worry about what she likes. You don’t have to do a thing. Just scream if you feel like it – she definitely likes that.

Poor David. Those horribly sore balls. Still, I understand someone will be kissing them better later on.

And you get to be a lifestyle client. You take whatever she gives you, until you can’t afford it.

Evil leather-clad dominatrices

You know, I enjoyed typing that title so much, that I thought I had to have a post just about it. But marriage creeps in here too, as I guess it always will.

Hmmm… Sounds like you’ll shortly be sexually compatible!

It’s not the worst thing you’ve ever tasted is it? Oh, is it? OK, well something has to be. Anyway, you don’t want to keep her waiting. No really…you don’t.

Phew! Lucky escape there.

Possibly even less than three or four years – she can be quite moody, after all.

I think that’s rather sweet. Just because the marriage is over, doesn’t mean a couple should stay apart for ever. I expect he thinks about her all the time.

The act of divine worship is the inestimable privilege of man…

… the only created being who bows in humility and adoration.

Hosea Ballou 1771 – 1852

Crazy name, sensible guy!

On with the pictures of not-nekkid leddies:

Don’t forget to say ang ooo.

On reflection, you were just going to ask if she wanted a nice cup of tea, weren’t you?

Ah the smell of burning rubber, the screams, the sounds of sirens… What’s that? Bad taste? Hey – YKINHK, right?

Hey – don’t knock it. Imagine having a girlfriend who handles mens’ genitals all day for a living. Hmmm?

But later she overdid it and found that his attention disappeared completely. Never mind. Plenty more fish in the sea.

Contemplating the corner

Tumtitum. Bad servitor. Don’t look over here, just look at the pretty pictures please.

It’s probably because you don’t really feel very grateful. Don’t worry, that’ll come with time and effort. And pain too. Obviously.

What’s the time, Mrs Wolf?

He’s a sensitive man. Very sensitive, right now.

Women riding horses? Frankly the whole thing just strikes me as too perverted for words.

Serves you right, you fat bastard*

* Unless you’re not. In which case it doesn’t.

Delightful power

Two or three days at least.

Oddly enough, a few nights later his life took a turn very significantly for the worse. Just goes to show that you should be thankful for what you have – for example, he’s not screaming silently in agony into a thick gag.

She’s perfect, so why shouldn’t she expect his work to be?

That joke copyright Emo Philips.
I loved the first snowfall of the year. My heart would leap when I saw the soft white flakes covering the ground, and I’d jump up and I’d run to the front door, and shout “Remember the deal! Let me in now!”.

Women eh? Obsessed with penis size. My Significant Other seems to bring the subject up every single day. And I just don’t think it’s appropriate, on a crowded commuter train.

Feeling her pain

Oh, you will.

He should be more sensitive. Fortunately, parts of him are, so she can start working on those.

It can’t be for clothes, because she buys them for you. And you’re not allowed alcohol or cigarettes.

She calls it “head-spanking”. Isn’t that cute?

Of course, it’s just possible they’ll take a bit longer than an hour. So – best to stop all that frantic banging and wriggling about.

Won’t your wife be pleased when you get home and show her?

Devotional blackmail

Better hurry up and get used to it – you’re late for work.

Planning a session…hope it’s like this.

She really appreciates it, because she knows how uncomfortable it makes you feel, seeing her in lingerie like that. You can go and run some cold water over it if you like – but make sure you dry it off, so it can’t rust.

…and I’m certainly not allowed to write it.

Men can get so frustrated waiting for women to get ready. It’s a good thing she has you to help.

Learning to crawl

Chrissie Hynde. What more could there be to say on a blog about female domination? Chrissie Hynde.

Anyway, that was Chrissie Hynde. Here are the captioned images of female domination.

Actually, it’s only by making mistakes that we learn. Well: by making mistakes and being whipped for it, I mean.

Don’t worry – you’ll have plenty of time.

He was hoping for a new ironing board but managed to hide his disappointment.

What a lot of text. Click and zoom, click and zoom. Y’know, I’ve always thought those ‘guardress’ uniforms are just so…so…excuse me, I really must click and zoom.

It must be such a relief not to have to cope with all that begging for mercy, not to mention the hysterical screams.