Author: Servitor

Graceless, Feckless, Aimless and Pointless

… that’s me.  But also characters in a novel by the divine Stella Gibbons which contains little if any femdom, I’ll admit, although Kate Beckinsale takes a rather firm hand with people in an entirely non-kinky way in the movie.

Now: something nasty from the woodshed.

She’s actually strictly vanilla. Very strictly.




I feel you ought to say something about this.




Oh, I hate mandatory penile minimum rules, don’t you?  It started out just with the nightclubs, and I can understand that, but I took my suit to the dry cleaners the other day, they insisted on a measurement and they wouldn’t take my suit unless I scrubbed and ironed for four hours, just for being four inches below the required minimum length!  It doesn’t seem fair.




Don’t make Mommy use her cattleprod, now!



There are no ‘problems’, only solutions.


Sorry about this

Sometimes I do things like this.  It’s a compulsion.  It’s best just to ignore me.


When I was a lad I fantasised
Of
being by a lady with a cane chastised.
I
visited a domme and
I paid my dues,
And I polished up the leather
on her high heeled shoes.
(He polished up the
leather on her high heeled shoes.)
I polished up that leather
so
carefully
That now I am a
sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He polished up that
leather so carefully that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B!)


Ti tum ti tum ti tum ti tum

In
our next encounter, I played the role

Of a schoolboy, under very strict control,

With my tie askew and my homework late

I wrote five hundred times that I
deserved my fate.

(He wrote five hundred times that he
deserved his fate.)
I copied all those lines so obediently,
That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He copied all those lines so obediently
that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B!)


I
turned up each month with my tribute in hand

In a plain paper envelope like contraband

And soon found myself, though not first – by far

Appointed to her stable as a regu-lar

(Appointed to her stable as a regu-lar.)
I was
spanked and pegged so
reg-u-larlee

That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He was spanked and pegged so reg-u-larlee that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress
B!)


In visiting my Mistress for my monthly
task
For a sign of her favour I began to ask
And my joy knew no bounds when, before her throne

I received a leather collar naming me her
own
(He received a leather collar naming him her own.)
That collar was my passage to slavery,
So now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B

(That collar was his passage to slavery so
now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B!)


Quite soon in my journey as a collared
slave

I was fitted with a tube so I don’t misbehave

And I soon experienced a sharp decrease

In the frequency with which I could achieve release.

(The frequency with which he could
achieve release.)

I spent so much time in chastity

That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He spent so much time in chastity,
that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B).


I retired from my job, free at last from
stress

And I bought myself an apron and a frilly
dress

For my plans for retirement had been long
laid

To attempt domestic service as a sissy maid!

(To attempt domestic service as a sissy maid)

I teetered on my heels so precariously

That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He teetered on his heels so
precariously, that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B).


So….

If you dream of a lifetime spent in unpaid work,
With
the cane awaiting when you dare to shirk

If your heart leaps high at the thought of a mop

And a life down scrubbing on your knees,
non-stop.

(And a life down scrubbing on your knees,
non-stop.)
Spend
all of your money on your session fee
And you all may be sissy
maids to Mistress B.

(Spend all of your money on a session
fee and you all may be sissy maids to Mistress B!)





Pictures are from the rather lovely cleversissy.tumblr.com, who surely is.


One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

To celebrate Bastille Day, let’s have some more Regency femdom. The tumbrels and republican principles of the Revolution itself do not lend themselves well to the theme (although I always felt a vague kinship with the sans-culottes) but on the other side of the Channel, the natural order was maintained.
 
Of course, these are merely modern ‘takes’ on the period. Fashions in femdom at the time were rather different and would seem strange to us today.  Humiliation play, for example, might involve acting out being introduced at a ball to a duchess and incorrectly addressing her as if she were a mere viscountess, or using the wrong fork for the fish and being gently and gigglingly admonished (or – worse – subjected to a sustained pretence by one’s dinner companions not to have noticed!  Oh, the shame).  A ‘forced bi’ scenario would typically end with some roleplaying the inevitable appearance before local magistrates, followed by branding or even transportation to Australia* for committing unnatural acts.  And of course the gimp suits of the time were made of wool or coarse cloth -unthinkable today but they knew no better.
 
What’s that?  You want me to shut the fuck up and just show you the pictures of hot chicks in empire-line dresses? Oh, OK then.  Sorry.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
* Generally regarded as a hard limit by most scene players today – and indeed very few dommes are even prepared to try it, although I understand Mistress Servalan of Sydney has ocasionally put on demonstrations at BDSM conventions.

Unnecessary cruelty

But the world would be a grey and soul-less place if we only did things that were strictly ‘necessary’, don’t you think?  Sometimes we have to live a little.



Her leadership style is simultaneously ‘top down’ and ‘bottom up’ if you can imagine such a thing.*






He thought she’d bought them to present him masturbating.  But that turned out to be the other package she’d had delivered, the heavier one.








Financial domination is a rapidly-growing segment of the economy, in these difficult times.  It’s just a more efficient way of giving money to superior ladies, without having to go through all the nonsense of dressing up in fetish clothes, meeting them in person or in any way bothering them.










When you’ve had enough things slapsplained, oddly enough, you actually find it increasingly difficult to retain  information that has been imparted any other way.  After a really effective slapsplaining session, for instance, I am usually very well informed on the specific matter under discussion, but find it hard to remember my own name or where I am.










Why not both?  Freak pays and fucks off.  It’s a win-win-lose, which sounds ideal.











* Very, very long-term readers might notice that I made this joke once before, around 2012 or so, to which I can only reply ‘Have you ever considered getting a life?’**


** My own is largely unused, if anyone wants it.

Lady’s man

I certainly am… well, a lady’s boy, anyway.


There’s nothing like standing in the corner with a well-smacked bottom on display to give you a sense of perspective.




Her fees are reasonable. She isn’t, I’m glad to say.



I tried calling the NHS helpline once, because I thought it would be a turn-on to ask a nurse all sorts of questions about the safety of enemas and how to deal with unwanted erections. The nurse I ended up speaking to was very sympathetic and started taking me through all of the details – but I must somehow have let on that I was just phoning for the sexual turn-on, so it got a bit embarassing after that.  Anyway, he was very nice and we’ve agreed to meet up some time after lockdown ends, so that ended well.


Sometimes a session starts badly, but I find when that happens the best thing to do is put it behind me and try to enjoy myself, anyway.




Wearing a shock collar can give you a sense of perspective too… along with a lot of very unpleasant electric shocks, obviously.

It may sound funny but he wasn’t supposed to

“The band was the inspiration for the phrase “Sleeperbloke“, referring to
the disparity between the glamorous singer Wener and the other
frequently ignored members of the band (who tended to be far more
anonymous and stood at the back)”


Quite right too.  On we go.


Oh… the sort of ‘discussion’ in which my contribution is mainly limited to thanks, apologies and tearful pleading.  OK, I’m good at those.





Thank goodness Billy has a loving wife to look after him.



You need to make sure you shave closely every day.  But that’s not so much to ask, is it?



I’m sure she’ll want to hold full and frank discussions thoroughly exploring all of their demands, before thrashing out an agreement.



I’ve tried assuaging my residual Catholic guilt by seeking punishment from dominatrices but for me it just never really works, as I end up having even more sinful thoughts – it’s like a never ending cycle of lust, guilt, penance and shame.  I love it.

Oh… and an extra one.  Being for the benefit of Mr Allen.

Unoriginal sins





Don’t worry: you’ll feel her pain






It probably wouldn’t say anything very interesting, to be honest.  Mostly whiny pleading.  They’re not missing anything.


Like many male teachers in girls’ secondary schools, he often finds himself being the teacher who has to deal with the bullies.
I understand that if you actually open them up, by breaking the flesh from whipping too hard for example, you can void the warranty.  But it doesn’t sound like she’s done that, so it’s probably OK.









She’s not a pro-domme, anyway, because to the eternal howls of anguish from love-sick slaves, I believe Lady Sophia Black has retired.

What a forward young man you are!

Readers of this blog who have ever fantasised about being spanked by the divine Anne Hathaway (or, more succinctly: readers of this blog) might be interested in viewing the video below.



Admittedly, we do not witness the actual act but any viewer pausing at 0.40 could be in little doubt what fate (richly deserved and almost explicitly asked for) awaits this very forward young man, once the cameras stop rolling.  Clever Ms Hathaway manages some subtle misdirection after that point, but I think we all know that’s just in response to her PR agent frantically gesturing, behind the scenes.

Crawl space

Actually that’s not true – she takes the keenest interest in making your knees hurt and derives great pleasure from it.


I’m actually really good at fetching sticks.  On dates, I usually try to work the conversation around, so I can casually mention it.
I tried ‘coming out’ by telling some female co-workers about my true sexual nature and I have to say I didn’t get anything like this understanding reaction.  Actually, the entire experience was utterly humiliating and very painful.  So that was nice.

It’s odd – when the lady who’s now my SO and I first got together, she always (well… both times, anyway) complained that I came too soon. Nowadays, apparently I take too long and she never has time, even though I’m pretty sure I’m quicker than ever.  Women, eh?

“throne”?
The Divine Mistress Heather, of course. Divinity lessons have never been so intense.

Liasons dangereuses

Urban foxes maybe?  We used to have urban foxes, round where I lived in London. They used to steal so many things: shoes, certainly.  They’d even take the panties and bras off the clothes lines of my neighbours…   Yeah.   Nasty little beasts. Agile too, to leap up high enough to reach the clothes line.









No, no: don’t get up.







Actually, it’s not quite true that she doesn’t care about your feelings.  Truth be told, she enjoys the thought of your misery.  But she’s too kind to admit it.











That’ll teach her.













It’s a pretty effect, isn’t it?  Makes a change from the usual striping.