However, I thought perhaps while we’re waiting for that we could hear a few words from The Lady Herself. So here, without further blather, is an excerpt from a speech that the FemSuprem candidate will be making during the 2020 US presidential campaign.
story. A true story. Around about 1905, this French passenger ship got wrecked on a remote
Pacific island. There were 32 women and 20 men who survived, so they set
up a camp and waited for rescue. But
this island was way off the usual routes so no help came.
traditional male grounds, obviously. This was 1905. Women didn’t even have the
vote! So the guys just decided guys should be in charge. They probably didn’t even think about it. But stuff went wrong. The men
started fighting over power, and one was killed and seven others ran off. Then two of the men who were left fought over
a woman and the winner raped her. So
far, so normal for thousands of years of history, right?
got on with doing what women do: growing food, looking after one another, making their lives better. You
know? And the men did what men do: they
fought, they destroyed stuff and eventually they were scavenging around
half-naked for raw berries and nuts and worms out there in the forest.
women’s village and beg to be allowed back in.
And the first few times the women just said no. But then they held a council and they
discussed it – as women, do, respectfully of one another’s opinions, while the
men were settling their differences on the rest of the island with clubs – and
they agreed to let the men back in on one condition.
only as a slave.
guess you all think that’s terrible and a horrible thing to happen. Slavery’s not a nice word and I suppose it’s
not a very nice thing when you’re a slave either. But it was better than grubbing up roots and
berries and being constantly afraid of being beaten up or raped by the other
men, you see. So, over time, one by one,
all the men came back into the village. As slaves.
weren’t free any more. So they didn’t have the freedom to rape people because
they couldn’t control their sexuality or dig up the crops before they were ripe
because they couldn’t control their gluttony – or the freedom to fight each
other for power. And maybe they had to
take a whipping occasionally, when they deserved it and I guess that can’t have
been fun. But it was better than starving.
It worked, see?
to come to an end and after about 15 years, finally a ship visited the
island. And things could have been fine,
but the captain of the ship saw a guy tied to the whipping post and decided it
was too weird for him and he took everyone off at gunpoint. And after that, we
don’t really know what happened to the castaways. I’d like to think some of them carried on in
female-led households back in France.
Because women were a lot freer after the first world war, see, so maybe
that could have been possible. But it’s hard to stand against the culture.
killed by other men early on, and one died of natural causes about 1915. The other 17 came home. What do you think
would have happened to them if they hadn’t been shipwrecked? They’d have joined the army, of course, like
all French men in 1914. And if they were
lucky they’d have spent four years in the trenches, wading through mud
constantly, permanently infested with lice and always terrified of a shell or a
sniper taking off the top of their head, or ripping out half their guts in a
split second. They’d have been compelled
by other men to stand up above the trench and run towards the enemy’s lines,
scrabbling over barbed wire as machine guns cut through their bodies and those
of their comrades. If they were unlucky
they’d have been gassed, shot, bombed, shelled and bayonetted while trying to
do the same thing back, killing men on the orders of other men. And if they somehow survived the enemy but
refused to try to kill him, they’d have been shot. By men on their own side.
worse off? They wore collars and chains
and they didn’t get to decide much for themselves, it’s true. They got an
occasional beating when they deserved it, and I’ve heard from time to time some
of the women got a bit frisky too and liked to humiliate them a bit. But if it’s that or the trenches of World War I – which would you choose?
themselves after they came home.
Whether when anyone ever asked them what they did in the Great War, how
they survived, they’d say ‘Oh – I was enslaved in a matriarchal society. I had a pretty sore bottom from time to time,
but we didn’t have any wars.” Because that would have been the truth. But I
expect they didn’t. Back then, most men
would have thought of subordination to women as the worst thing in the world. They’d just had four years of unimaginable
horror in the trenches but somehow going over a woman’s knee was an intolerable
thought. Go figure.
And that’s why I say to men: look at the world you have. This is your world: the world you men
made. You’ve had thousands of years in
charge and… well, look at it. You want
to make it better? You’ve tried
political campaigns to put different men in charge and you’ve tried revolutions
to put a whole bunch of different men in charge and you’ve had wars – boy, have
you had wars! – to see if killing people might help and hey: nothing
works! You’re still scrabbling around
for nuts and berries, fighting each other, living like animals.
Well, I’m offering you the same deal as those
women on the island did. We’ll open the gate, if that’s the choice you decide
break. Your freedom is the problem. And if you’re honest with yourselves, you’ll
admit that. And you’ll support us in this election. And if we win, you don’t have to worry about
what happens next, because we’ll be in charge. Do you have to be submissive to
want that? Or do you just have to be intelligent enough to recognise that you
need to give yourself a break and put someone else in charge?