July 2012 – Contemplating the divine

An interview with Servitor

Responding to popular request from absolutely no one, the
reclusive author of this blog has decided to reveal some of the secrets of his
art, by being interviewed. Our celebrity
guest interviewer today is Mistress Whippenham, a highly experienced pro-am
domination expert, normally based in Ilfracombe in Devon, South-West England,
but today here in the blog room as a figment of Servitor’s imagination. I’m sure you’re all keen to know everything about
Contemplating the Divine and its author, so here we go.

Mistress Whippenham

Servitor (kneeling): Mistress Whippenham, it’s a great pleasure and an
honour to have you with us today. I don’t
know whether you are a regular reader of the blog, but I hope that after today
you might become so. I am of course
ready to answer any questions you might have for me.

Mistress Whippenham: Oh shut up, servitor, you snivelling little worm. Fetch me a drink.

Servitor fetches her a
drink, hands it to her and kneels back before her.

Servitor: Thank you for letting me serve you, Mistress. Now, turning to the interview –

Mistress Whippenham (sharply): I thought I told you to shut
up, didn’t I servitor? I’m not
accustomed to being disobeyed, or to having to repeat myself.

Servitor (uncertainly): But Mistress, the interview –

Mistress Whippenham: Right.
Gag. NOW, worm!

What are you looking at, you little pervert? How dare you!

Servitor reluctantly
puts on a ball gag, and gently bows for Mistress Whippenham to tighten
the strap at the back. She does so, and also takes the opportunity to fit a leather hood over his head.

Mistress Whippenham: Much better. Right then, let’s get on with the interview. Where are those questions?

Servitor silently
(obviously) hands her a piece of paper.

Mistress Whippenham (reading): Where do you get the ideas
for your amusing captions?

Servitor: Nnnng mmmmpppphh grrrnnntnnnt, Mmmmmtttttthhh.

Mistress Whippenham: Uh huh.
And what software do you use to make them?

Servitor: Wnnnnggg, mmmnnggnnnh ng nggggnnnn hnnmmmrrrrrnnnt
ngt hnnngggnng ng mmmmbbt nnnghhhmmmnnth.

Mistress Whippenham: Whatever. Not like anyone gives a fuck. What sources do you use for the vanilla
photos? Don’t take long answering, boy.

Servitor: Nngggnnnh mmmthhheeeernnnh, cnnngthrnnngttth hhhnnnggthg.
MMmmmngth.

Mistress Whippenham: Right.
And, it says here, when did the obsession with Anne Hath – oh I’m not
reading this shit, servitor. It’s as dull as everything else on this stupid
pervy little wank-fest you call a blog. No one’s interested in
you, and I’m certainly not. Apologise to
the readers for wasting their time! NOW!

Servitor: Nnnnggg
mnnnnhhheee nnnngggeee ngh mannnngggtthhhng mmmmnnnggggnnth.

Mistress Whippenham: That’s better. Ridiculous little man. Now fuck off.

Servitor fucks off.

Servitor trying to fuck off but failing to find the door.

Wasn’t that great? If
you have any more questions for Servitor, please write each one out 400 times
by hand, and send it to Mistress Whippenham somewhere in Ilfracombe, or better yet just throw it away.

NB, Servitor will be enjoying a holiday – regrettably not in the flood-drenched Devonshire dungeons of Mistress Whippenham – for the next three weeks. Posts will continue, aided by the magic of blogger’s “scheduling” but comments won’t be answered for quite a while.

Inconsequential

Mostly, that’s me. But occasionally, my behaviour has consequences, and sometimes I just have to sit quietly and reflect upon that.

Just talk about whatever comes to mind.

Actually, several of her classmates still fear her, but they pay for the privilege now.

His and hers – something for everyone. But always check it fits before leaving the shop.

I expect she’ll be terribly embarassed when she discovers her mistake.

No really. You’ll be screaming too. You’ll see.

They who must be obeyed

The title based of course on the splendid in concept (but disappointing in realisation – just ask a frustated 13 year old desperately looking for femdom material in the early 1980s) nineteenth century novel She, by H Rider Haggard. There’s actually a sequel too, called Ayesha (although I always thought it ought to have been called She’s Back), which puts me in mind of a remarkable lady with a more serious and worthy blog than this one. She has introduced me and others to the concept of “saudade“, which makes me think that I am perhaps spiritually Galician-Portuguese.

Anyway, this isn’t getting those captioned images of female domination onto your screens and into your brains, so we’d better get on with it.

Or don’t keep calm. That bit’s up to you.

I think she’ll come to appreciate the gift in time. Young love is all very well, but experienced wives know the value of a good leather whip.

If you’re considering asking for a refund, do bear in mind that she is still holding the whip.

I don’t know why some men pay for public humiliation. It’s easy enough to get it for free, I find.

Littls snuff scene here but tastefully done

She genuinely doesn’t want to drown him. There was such a fuss about the last one, after all.

MMMppptthhh!

NNNgghhffff mmmrrrgh nnhhrpfthh ptthhhttt! Grrnnnnttthhhttthh Mmmmnnnksssss. Hhnnnggg nnnn, Grrnnnnttthhhttthh.

Spiked penis tube chastity... goodness, what's not to like?

Sometimes I just need a firm hand

Someone else’s, I mean. Maybe one of these ladies might oblige?

I’m sure Katie won’t mind. She’s very easygoing.

Isn’t that a wonderful expression? Almost takes your mind off the – ooh! -spikes…

It hurts where the dominatrix nurse wants it to hurt

Just about everywhere, eventually. But starting off with the pain quite concentrated, in a few sensitive spots, I expect.

Castratix and here little emasculation hobby

I love this one.

Wifely discipline can leave a nasty taste

Or she might just tell you to swallow. We’ll see.

Naughty words

Just a brief, non-image post today, because –

OK, OK maybe just one image to make the links columns more attractive, here you are:

Hmm. She looks rather cross, doesn’t she? Better hurry on past.

Anyway, what I wanted to say, was that this didn’t start out primarily as a blog for captioned images. I started it off to publish some stories I had written over the years, and then I tried my hand at a few captions (it only takes one hand, fortunately)…and nowadays it seems I do little else. It takes so much longer to write a story than a caption, and the photos are lovely too, so I haven’t written one for ages.

Increasingly I see links to this as a photo blog – which is great but it’s not only that – so I thought I’d point out to newer readers that there are lot of stories in the early months (first half 2011).

Links to some below, then I’ll probably post links to a few more some time. Or you can just use the ‘fiction’ tag in the cloud over to the right there.

Air divine Femdom airlines, basically. Very much my kind of thing! Written a long time ago, for my former Significant Other, a domme I adored. She claimed (rather sweetly I always thought) to find my stories and other writings amusing. But with this one, I think she really meant it.

Chopped and changed Written specifically for this blog, stories featuring Serena tend to be rather extreme. The title’s a bit of a clue too.

Tomorrow’s World This one is a parody of a 1970s British TV show about science. So if you haven’t seeen that, you won’t get it. Sorry.

Huge caption This actually started as a caption (regular readers will be wearily familiar with my attempts to fit text the length of a nineteenth century Russian novel onto the side of a picture). But it just growed so I’m calling it a story.

Misappliance of Science An attempt at humour, as a party of bored schoolgirls are led around a huge science and manufacturing centre dedicated to – guess what – the enslavement and punition of males. Part 2 here.

Waiting One of my very few serious stories. A lot of you liked this.

More new endings Despite the title, this is a new ending for only one old tale: Cinderella.

Scenes Little vignettes, which could almost be captions really. Written a long time ago, for two ladies I knew. Their names have been changed. My own favourite story from this period is this one. And it also gave me a chance to publish a picture of Raquel Welch (from the femdom episode of Mork and Mindy and if you don’t believe me that there was one, you can ask Mr Youtube).

That’s it for now.

Oh OK, just one more picture this time, then. Isn’t she lovely?

Mildly pornographic and feebly humorous captioned images relating to female domination

…well, the subtle post headers don’t seem to attract as much traffic as the more literal ones, so I thought I’d try a different tack. On with the show:

Sexy babysitter - shame youll be locked up

Well, at least she hasn’t invited her boyfriend over like the last one.

Genies… just when they think they’ve seen it all, they can still be surprised, huh?

I think an important lesson will be learned here, don’t you?

Don’t worry, she’s recently taken an advanced-level course in pain management. She’s really good at it.

Could you get some milk as well? Thanks, you’re a treasure.

Unconditionally surrendered

The human furniture was easier to dispose of.

She did promise you a night to remember.

You’ll earn those extra dollars.

How disgraceful another catratrix caption

I went out once a girl once who had a castration fetish. We haven’t seen each other for years, but there’s a part of me that will always be hers.

(Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Hey – how many castratrices does it take to change a lightbulb…)

Good thing you’re not going anywhere today. Plenty of time to talk about it.

Incidentally, if you like this blog (and I have to tell you: you’re really wasting your time here if you don’t), you’ll almost certainly like this one as well. He doesn’t put the captions in the pictures, but the basic idea of encapsulating a scene in a few pithy (?) sentences is much the same, and he has some really lovely, sexy, funny ones: Improbable fun

Inspired thoughts

Specifically, just one thought, inspired by the ending of a wonderful session, with an extraordinary lady, on Thursday. Well, inspired by that and a strong dose of self-loathing.

(and no – of course she didn’t say it like this. She was lovely. And of course this isn’t her. Although the lady in this picture is lovely too.)