Contemplating the Divine: not as good as it used to be.

At the risk of alienating readers by going into re-runs, I thought I might offer an even more embarassing insight into my deviant little mind by presenting my top 10 favourite captioned images from (over 200!) posted in the three months this blog has been going.

I’d be interested to know whether others like the same ones or have different interests.

There are some things I just don’t do, though.  Attentive readers will have noticed that in none of these pictures are the ladies unclothed or engaged in any explicit sexual acts (except kissing their lesbian lovers).  Nothing wrong with that, but it’s just not my kink, as they say, so don’t even ask.

I love the smiles on their faces, their happiness at dispensing extreme violence…  Having grown up during the Cold War, I also occasionally marvel at the fact that the OWK, which so perfectly acted out my sexual fantasies (and added a few more), was the product of a former Communist state.  Presumably some of those haughty OWK ladies grew up as good little Young Pioneers learning about Marx and Lenin…an extraordinary thought.

Like the previous one, but in a more traditional femdom setting, I just adore the unforced and surely genuine laughter so evident on the dommes’ faces.  I don’t know what had made them laugh so much, but it could well be something like the situation described in my caption.


More carefree, happy and powerful women.  This time schoolgirls!  No further explanation needed of what I like about this one, I hope?  Some scarier alpha female schoolgirls here

OK, total contrast. She looks quite serious, doesn’t she?  Cruella played a hugely important role in my sexual development. It was stunning partly for the higher production values than other magazines on the market, also for the greater degree of violence, being prepared for example to present castration fantasies.  Their later video work seems to me more formulaic (although there are many gems) but this is an image from one of the very first magazines, presenting the notional editor ‘Victoria’.  I loved it then and I love it now.  Isn’t she magnificent?  This is my other favourite Cruella image from those years.  Oh, and, er, so is this.

This is a common theme of mine, especially around chastity: trying to ‘normalise’ the situation as much as possible.  When my captioned ladies discuss chastity, they don’t leer or cackle manically, they simply present it as something that’s part of normal life. Decisions that for you are of crucial, breath-holding importance are made in an utterly offhand way (“An orgasm darling?  Oh, I really don’t think so.  Maybe next month…or is that when we’re having the decorators in?  Maybe two months’ time.”) 

Yes!  Jane Austen day!  I do like to do things that are a little outside the mainstream of femdom porn.  I am proud to say that I am now the top Google result for ‘Jane Austen femdom’ and the only Google result for the phrase “Hot chicks in empire-line dresses”.  There’s glory.

Dominant ladies don’t have to be evil, sneering tormentresses. In this one, the humiliation comes from the fact that she is trying very hard not to humiliate you.  If you see what I mean.  Works for me, anyway.  This one uses a similar idea in a more sexual context.

Such a wonderful, scary, unsmiling expression.  It needed a serious caption to match it.

So, at the risk of over-analysing, this is about the arbitrary nature of the power exchange in the femdom relationship.  She is not the teacher because she knows more than you do, but simply because she is an attractive young woman with a cane and you are…well, whatever you are.  And if she says it’s spelt “potatoe” that is how you will spell it.

Incidentally, I have regular maths lessons with the lady above.  That’s why there are 12 images in this ‘top 10’ list.

I don’t know if the mainstream meme that subbie males are more likely than average to be high-achievers is true.  I suspect there’s a selection bias resulting from the cost of visiting pro-dommes, for one thing.  But I like the idea of a hugely successful man being recognised as totally successful in that field of life by a domme, but it counting for nothing in the role she wants him to play.  Hence the Nobel Prize winner.

As far as I can tell from pageviews and search results, this is the single most popular captioned image on this blog.  You seem to like it.  What I like (akin to the call centre chastity picture earlier) is the contrast between the quiet reasonableness of her tone and the horror of the situation she’s discussing.  Sure – it’s an important decision whether to castrate you.  Also, she has important decisions to take about how to redecorate the back bedroom, you know?  It’s not the only important decision in her life.

OK, well I try to subvert femdom conventions at times.  This one might be a little too contrived.  But the notion of humiliation that goes beyond play-acting, that strikes at the real heart of your self-esteem (because is it really demeaning to pay or seduce someone to let you pretend to be her maid?) is quite exciting.  For example, it’s exciting to think of a domme deleting all of my postings and computer files, to teach me a lesson.  I also like the change in perspective that comes in the third paragraph.  Oh hell, it’s not a work of literature.  I just thought it was funny…

I’ve also been posting stories here.  Most are intended to be funny, some are rather silly parodies, for example of a 1970s BBC science programme.  Others are ‘humorous’ vignettes featuring a thinly-disguised version of my Significant Other (pro, wonderful!) and Her friend, which I originally wrote to amuse Her.  And a few impossible medical transformations of slaves.  However, I have posted just one which is serious and my impression is that that is far and away the most popular of all.  It certainly appears to be, from the page views.  So maybe I’m on the wrong track with all this ‘humour’.  But the silly ideas come easily, the serious ones take work.  Any reader feedback on this is welcome.

10 thoughts on “Contemplating the Divine: not as good as it used to be.”

  1. I too love the way the Chastity helpline photo presents chastity as being part of normal life and of women being in charge.

    It would be wonderful to perform mindless tasks to please "wifey" and then be treated in such a condescending manner.

    Finally the castration photo firmly makes us feel small when she reminds us that she wants to know what we think before she decides what to do.

  2. Well, my favorite stories were "Eight out of ten Mistresses say their slaves prefer it" and "The only thing worse than being locked in a chastity belt is". I also admit to liking the castration caption; I seem to find myself turning back to reread it periodically. I guess the common theme is the offhanded, casual domination of all three. No overt whippings, beatings, slappings; just total unquestioned control.

  3. Hey, Servitor. Sorry to hear your new job is going to limit your posts, but considering the amount of work that obviously goes into each one, I'm impressed by how prolific you've been up until now!

    Regarding the humorous stuff – please, please keep it up. For me, your captions are no less erotic for it – quite the reverse, for whatever reason – and it's also what sets your work apart. There's no shortage of existing femdom material out there that takes itself far too seriously!

  4. @Kathy's wife:

    Thank you. I think the castration photo has the potential not only to make one feel small, but actually to become smaller.

    @Ralph D:

    Thank you for mentioning those stories. Stories take a lot of effort, much more than a captioned picture, so it's great to have feedback. Yes, I agree of course although I will admit having a weakness (and frequently a firmness) for the cruel and distinctly uncasual OWK ladies too…

    '8 out of 10 owners' is a particular favourite that I wrote a while ago to amuse my Significant Other and Her friend: they are of course the two ladies in it. I like the idea of a domme accidentally being crueller than she intends to be. I am planning a few stories (emphatically NOT based on Her) about an incompetent pro-domme, who does things like forget about the slave she has tied up in the cupboard…


    Utterly inspired by your site. Your drawings especially of the femdom corporation are in just the same erogenous spot! (bleah…sorry about the damp and unpleasant metaphor).

    Congratulations on reaching your first birthday. Not a lot of birtday spanks for that, but no doubt you have misbehaviour to correct as well, so I expect it'll work out.

  5. I love the Victorian age pictures, here and a few back, that you have done, with the old-style English captions. Very nicely done.

  6. I like the clothed female naked male[cfnm] photo of the girl leading the naked boy by the chain. I know that some guys like snarling dommtypes.But i like the ordinary women that are enjoying themselves at a male's expense. I also like your captioned photo of the woman on the computer .The female domination aspect is subtle, even mainstream, yet very powerful

  7. Servitor
    I would agree with Underling.I think that your sense of humor is what makes your captions so great.they are not like some of the "paint by the numbers" captions that you see elsewhere on the internet[Domms with whips in hand barking out cliches like "Kneel slave!"]

  8. Well, I'll confess a fondness for parody (hardly surprising given the Beetle books!) but it is definitely the way you subvert conventional femdom ideas that attracts me. "Of course it's going to fucking hurt" – love it!

  9. Yes, well, it won't surprise you to learn that I liked the Beetle books more than just about anything else on the Internet, ever. Although the feeling was accompanied by a powerful sense of jealousy that I hadn't thought of it first. You do it very well indeed, though.

    My blog mainly replaces tired old femdom cliches with tired new femdom cliches, though: see here for a guide to how it all works: Test link Generic post

  10. KInd of you to coment, Mr Bird (and apologies for taking six years to respond). Victorian', though, Mr Bird? Jane Austen? I think Miss Trubshaw the history teacher would like you to report for a three-hour remedial detention, for that.

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