Holiday special (1)

So here we go… Servitor’s on holiday, having a lovely time by the side of the pool, scrubbing away at the mould that grow on the tiles, before a great night out clubbing, tied up with a spreader gag by the queue for the ladies’ loos.

So in the meantime, here are some robotically programmed captions – three a day every day, without comment. Usually written long ago, but never before published.  Probably for a reason, to be honest.

Just like last year.

Feel free to make comments, but be aware I will not respond until September.  Abusive comments from ladies particularly welcome, as ever.  It always amazes me when that happens – I don’t even have to pay for it!

Here we go.

 

 

 

 

Leaving – on a jet plane

But I do know when I’ll be back again.  1st September.  But in the meantime, just like last year, there will be extra bumper posts – three new captioned pictures a day, without commentary or anything else.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I don’t care! I’ll be on holiday, see?

And now, for something holiday themed…

Don’t worry, some of the staff in economy dress like this too. Andre, for example, and Philippe.  I’ve heard they’re very nice.
 

 

Did you ever have one of those dreams about being naked?  You know, you dream you’re naked in the office or somewhere like that, and everyone’s laughing at you, and it’s all over the newspapers, so you lose your job and to try to forget the pain you start a lighthearted femdom blog called Contemplating the Divine, and… oh, hang on.
 
 
Actually I can’t think of anywhere I’d feel more secure during turbulence.
 
 
No, I’m good.  I had one before we left.

 

There are some very strange sexual fetishes out there.  Don’t you think?

 

 

All your praises they shall ring if it be your will … to let me sing

Erm… sorry, was I supposed to be typing something down here?
 
 

 

Well it matters to the bug.  Still, I suppose it’s quite low down in the grand scheme of things. No point paying attention to the feelings of worms or cockroaches, is there?
 
 

 

Yes.  How awful it must be for guys with huge cocks, who are into SPH, did you ever think of that? Poor souls…
 
 

 

And I’ll be thinking about her (Lady Sophia Black, ladies and gentlemen!)
 
 

 

The nickname’s a bit unfair.  It’s not his fault his breath smells of piss.

Distance learning


Yes, I
suppose I do like to take it seriously. 
I’m always uncomfortable when I see dommes who are all latex and boots in what’s
supposed to be a school scene, you know? 

Actually,
I’ve got a client who can’t get enough realism. We discovered this online
tuition outfit – puts you in touch with a tutor to take you through a whole
GCSE course, and at the end of it you take the exam and everything. He used to
send essays and tests off to some lady in Macclesfield, and she’d mark
them. 
 
Then we had a system: the strap
for less than 18/20, the cane for less than 14/20. We had a strict rule for how
many strokes, and any additional lines or detention punishment.  You know – so it wouldn’t be me as a Mistress
deciding; it would all be about the schoolwork.
 
And then he’d take the proper exam at the end of it – you can do it online these days.  With more punishment – obviously! – for any grade less than an A.
 
 

So it was all working out fine, he was doing course after course.  Getting so many qualifications!  Languages, sciences, all sorts of
things.  I think he was quite a high-flying lawyer, though, so I don’t suppose a few more GCSEs did him that much good.  Anyway, one day it went a bit
wrong. He’d accidentally included some kind of email to me about his next
session, in one of the packages of essays for her.  So I come down one morning, and there’s this
nicely spoken lady on my doorstep, demanding very politely to know what the
blankety-blank is going on!
 
Of course,
she had the address because we’d used this one for the deliveries. He used to
come here, and I’d open the envelope right there and read out the grades and
any comments in front of him – with all the implements on display.  A bit difficult for me, actually, not to be in
control of a session like that. He might have 19/20 and just be sent into the
bathroom for a hand-job, or he might have 12 or so and need a good caning
followed by lines and detention.  Made it
hard to plan my day.

Well, I couldn’t leave her standing there so I asked her in for tea and at first I wasn’t going to say anything.
Client confidentiality and all that.  But
then I thought – you know, in a way we’ve been involving her in this thing
without her consent. It’s not really fair. So without giving her his real name,
I told her everything. 
 
She went
white!  But she listened to it all in
silence.  Showed her the room with the
whipping bench and the canes and things like that.  She looked pretty shocked, but she was quite
calm.  Calm and quiet.  She’d once given him just 9/20 for a piece of
work – that was the worst grade he’d ever had – and she asked me what he’d got
for that, so I said 36 with the cane and writing seven hundred lines in
detention. But she didn’t say anything… just nodded and reached out, gently
touched one of the canes as if she was thinking about what it must have been
like for him.  She asked a few more
questions, but I think she was just being polite by then.  She wanted to leave, so we quickly finished
our tea and off she went.
 
 

And, as luck
would have it – or bad luck if you like – he was just arriving for a
session.  He turned the corner of the
road just as she was coming up to the end. 
He told me their eyes met.  Of
course, he didn’t know what to think at the time, didn’t know who she was, but
when I got here I told him all about it. And he said that when their eyes met,
he knew that she knew it was him!  Isn’t
that weird! 
 
 

Anyway.  We thought that would be that, so I started
looking around for another online tutor. But then he got a message asking where
his essay on Cromwell’s reforms of the legal system was, as part of his GCSE on British constitutional history, so he wrote one up
quickly, and sent it off.

Came back
covered in red ink.  8/20 for content
minus 4 for lateness.  I’ve never given
anyone such a beating.  He literally
could not sit down for a week – which was a shame, as he had several thousand lines to write. Fortunately, his next essay was a bit better: he’d have got 15 if she hadn’t taken a few points off for messy handwriting.
 
He got a starred A for that subject, when he finally came to take the exam.  Examiner’s report said it was the best script he’d ever seen.  Well, I suppose he is a lawyer.  He hasn’t done quite as well on any since, although it’s rare he doesn’t get at least an A, nowadays.

Funny how
things turn out sometimes, isn’t it?
 
Anyway, can’t stand here talking all afternoon.  So what it’s going to be today?  The cane for masturbation, was it?  Right then, you go and get into your uniform, and I’ll set up in here.

 End
 

Note for foreign chaps: GCSEs are the exams English* pupils take when they’re fifteen or sixteen.  But those of us whose emotional and sexual development is eternally stuck at that age could take more of them at any time, I suppose.

 
Note for everyone: all of these lovely pictures are of Miss Porter, of the English Governess site. I hope she isn’t cross with me for using them like this.  That would be just awful… 
 
*Note for pedants.  Yes ‘English’ not ‘British’.  Well, English and Welsh.  They do it differently in Scotland.  That’s why the story above does not mention tawses.

And – finally – here’s a bonus caption, also voiced by the divine Miss Porter, bearing some rather unsettling news!
 

More advice to a novice sub – jargon busting

No, not ball busting.  Jargon busting!  As an experienced visitor of pro-dommes I am always happy to share my wisdom with nervous young subs seeking their first taste of the forbidden fruit that is a femdom session.  So I wrote two posts a while ago, trying to provide some of the most important tips. They went down very well, with several readers contacting me to let me know that they had tried my suggestions and survived. 

But, you know, there’s a lot more as well. Like any specialised subject, the world of BDSM is rife with its own phrases and acronyms and they can leave novices hopelessly confused. So here is Servitor’s jargon buster – all those puzzling terms explained. 

Write to me in the comments and let me know how you get on, newbies!

MILF. This is an acronym for “Mistress I’ve Lately Found”, so it’s a perfect way to address any new domme you approach.  It can be particularly effective with more mature ladies, though, as they are less familiar with the Internet, so these acronyms are fresher to them.
Scat. This is a form of puppy play.  The puppy should lie on his back, paws waggling in happy adoration of his goddess.  She will stand menacingly over him for a while, then later order him to ‘scat!’ – meaning go away.  You don’t even need to arrange this in advance – just lie there, look up at her with those big puppy eyes, and say “Scat please, Mistress!”.  She’ll know what to do.  Some dommes like to put newspaper down before a scat session, or even plastic sheeting, to make the puppy play more realistic – but don’t take this as a licence to do anything disgusting! 
I am afraid that I am not allowed to post upskirt pictures on this blog (because I am not allowed to look at them), so I can’t show the actual scat moment.  But I think it’s clear that it’ll be arriving soon, in this session!  Mmmm.  Puppy play is so cute.
Humbler.  This is a complex and subtle form of psychological BDSM, in which the sub is given a small token of his Mistress’s regard – used panties, quite often – and left
alone to contemplate them and his relationship to Her, for a few hours before a
session.  Even the strictest Mistresses will usually allow unlimited masturbation during this time, as the point is to arrive at the session sexually relaxed, to spend it in peaceful adoration.  Mistresses enjoy these quieter sessions occasionally, so don’t be afraid to ask to arrive early – or even the night before – to be put in a humbler.
Asking for an overnight humbler experience before tomorrow’s session.  She’s just warning him that his balls might be quite sore in the morning.  Obviously an experienced mistress who knows just many times he’s likely to bring himself to orgasm!
Forced bi.  A double-domme session, in which one of the ladies only arrives after the sub is placed in strict bondage.
This boy’s particularly lucky, because his Mistress not only agreed to arrange a forced bi session, she even asked him if he was up for a blow job!  I mean, duh – who isn’t, eh?!  Let’s hope her friend is pretty.
Sound.  Many subs prefer their sessions to be carried out in total silence, so if you don’t want this ask your domme whether she does ‘sounds’.
This sub asked for a double-domme medical session with lot of ‘sounds’. Just the thing for those who prefer their BDSM to be gently psychologically menacing rather than truly painful.  After all, sounds can’t really hurt you. Sticks and stones, and all that…
Bitch play.  Almost all dommes like to finish a puppy play session by making love – doggie style! When you’re ready for this, show you want her to switch into the animal role by calling her a ‘bitch’ – or, if you think she might not realise you’re ready for sex, ‘fucking bitch’ just so she knows what’s expected of her.
You know what you want.  She wants it too – but you have to ask!
Judicial caning.  This is the CP session to go for if you are new and nervous. Many men actually have little idea of their real tolerance for pain, so if you ask for a ‘judicial session’, she will carefully (‘judiciously’ – you see?) monitor how much she is inflicting and will stop when you’ve had enough, so no safeword is required.
Remember, the world of BDSM is really quite playful.  You’d be surprised how many of the fiercest disciplinarians will accede to a humble request for the caning to be applied ‘judicial’ style, especially if you show them how much you trust them by requesting restraints and a gag.

Married, with consequences

Married couples should talk about their finances.  Too few do – but it can save a lot of pain later on.
 

 

Than you Susan.  (braces)
 
 

 

I hope she doesn’t give in to peer pressure. When she decides to have you castrated it should be because that’s what she wants to do. No other considerations should come into it.





 

 

Nasty man with big smelly feet. Really smelly feet.  I can’t understand what she sees in him.
 

 

Those surveys… I think all they do is make women feel unsatisfied.  And I should know.

Active-aggressive behaviour

Actually, I think her levels of married bliss have never been higher.
 
 

 

Have you noticed their expressions?  I don’t think they’re going to argue about this. Sometimes couples already really know what needs to be done – the role of the external expert is just to help them open up about it to each other.
 
 

  

He does still participate in rapes from time to time, though.  Just in a different role.
 
 

 

Valuable protein.
 
 
That kind of bitchy behaviour is quite unusual in OWK, actually. Generally, the ladies work within a supportive and positive team culture.  It’s about mutual respect in the workplace, basically.

A little found femdom for you, while I’m busy

I love found femdom – femdom themes in stuff that is not explicit femdom porn, basically. This from a photographer called Chen Zhun is really rather nice, with my favourite amongst all of them copied below.


http://www.phombo.com/art/chen-zhun-photography-fhm-china/page-1/

 
 
Expect to see a few of them captioned here from time to time, although it’s not as if they need it.
 
Just thought I’d share those with you as I sit here trying to sort out Windows 10.  No, Microsoft, I really do not want to share all my photos and videos with my family and friends, thank you very much.  Yes, RealPlayer, actually I would like to continue to be able to download videos even with an upgraded browser, but no, I really don’t want to upload all of my photos and videos to your cloud, thank you.  No, oddly enough I don’t want to post them all on Facebook, either…. sigh.
 
Less problematic but always amusing is the way Microsoft’s browser pretends it has never heard of Google. “You want to use a search provider other than Bing? Bit weird, but, yeah, sure, you’re the boss I guess.  Let’s see now, there’s Ask, Yahoo…quite a few alternatives, so – sorry, what’s that?  Goo-guhl?  Err… doesn’t ring a bell.  How are you spelling that?”


Onwards…