Oh, I hope there’ll be jellyfish

The servitor who uploads material to this blog will be on an undeserved holiday for the next few weeks.  Normally awful service will be maintained, through the magic of ‘scheduling’ and comments – especially abusive ones – remain as welcome as ever, but will not be responded to (so the grovelling apologies must wait).


The jellyfish thing? Oh yeah. This.

You know, I heard once that feeling sad and lonely is just your body’s way of telling you what an unpleasant person you are to be with?  Makes a lot of sense.

I’m slowly working my way into her affections, I reckon.

Mmmpphhh grtrrth.

Of course, they’ll need to use something else to achieve the burning sensation.  Hot coals, maybe? They’re very creative.

 

Hope there’s some beer for me.

Fear and loving

Oh, no. Not Lucy.

They do furnish a room.

It’s a good idea to have it written there on the fridge, to remind you both that it’s overdue.  I’m sure she’ll get round to it, though – no need to nag.

Boring old politics.  Still, you’d better go along to look pretty on her arm.

You could kiss and make up.


Extra service




Hello, Business Answers?  Natalie speaking. How can I help?
No, this isn’t actually the Chesham AB Nursery.  We’re a business answering service.  The person you’re trying to contact… errr
‘Nanny Stern’?  She’s busy so she’s
switched all calls to us.  But I have a
menu here I can take you through to try to process your call, if that’s any
help at all?
An appointment? 
Sure.  Tuesday week… not looking
good.  Maybe Thursday?  Thursday. 
4 – 6 pm OK for you?
Fine… now I need to take some details for the booking.  Do you have a customer code?  Got it.  Right – there you are.  Mr Franks,
yes?
So…last time, you had… let’s see.  Bedwetting, smacked bottom and nappy
humiliation?  That OK for you this time
too?
Fine.  Well that’s all
booked for you.  Thursday week, 4pm.
Now, Mr Franks, as you’re on the line, I wonder if I could
talk to you about insurance on behalf of one of our other clients?  You see, these days many people don’t
properly provide for – 
Mr Franks?  I’m sorry,
I don’t think I heard that, I – 
Mr Franks?
Mr Franks?
Well, that was a bit rude.
Insurance…let’s see, we’ll call that ‘unsure’.
And back with Chesham AB Nursery, let’s see what we can do
about that rude word shall we Mr Foulmouth Franks? … Hmm… 
‘mouthsoaping’. Perfect.  Oooh: caning too!  Well, why not?  How many?… oh I
don’t know. Why’s it all in sixes? 
12.  No, let’s have 24.
And we’ll schedule a follow-up call about the insurance for
the day after.
Done.
Hello, Business Answers?  Natalie speaking. How can I help?

Mistress and Commander

Celebrating the more militaristic side of our little hobby.  Destruction, brutality, war, death… it’s sad there are these things in our world, but there’s nothing wrong with having a little sexy fun with them, is there?


As a British citizen, I don’t actually carry ID, but I do have an ownership tattoo, so let’s hope that will suffice.

 

It
happens. You know, the ninth Women’s Gestapo regiment once managed to
lose an entire infantry divisions-worth of POWs. Careless, but war’s
messy, right?


Her way’s a lot quicker, too.
Obviously enough, a lovely image from the British Institution. 
You know, there are lots of organisations called “The British
Institute” of this, that and the other.  I hope they enjoy the
ocasional accidental surf to prison.

Don’t worry. You get at least four more opportunities for appeal. We are going to fight this!
The divine, lovely, commanding Mistress Eleise de Lacy is no longer associated with Femme Fatale films and is cross with them (but oh, it’s wonderful when Mistress Eleise is cross with you, as I can personally attest!).  So I won’t be linking to them, for images featuring her.  And the not-always-in-charge Miss Woods is here.

Right, like her name’s really Vinyl Queen, huh?  Dommes, eh? Do they think the rules don’t apply to them?
  I’m guessing that’s who it is, from a Google Image search.  Do correct me if I’m wrong.




Customer services


Yeah, this is FDproducts. What the fuck do you want?
What?  No, of course
we’re not going to exchange it. If it ripped when you tried to put it on, it’s
your own fault, isn’t it, you fucking moron? You were probably putting it on
wrong.

No, I do not want to hear how you put it on, you little
pervert.  My day’s going quite badly enough
without having to listen to a graphic description of some sweaty old balding guy trying to squeeze
himself into a latex French maid outfit.

What?  Consumer
rights? What fucking consumer rights?

Look, let’s get something straight, right?  You’re a submissive male, correct?
Right.  And what am I?  That’s right. I’m a woman.  And women are…

‘Goddesses’, yeah, OK. 
I was thinking of ‘the superior sex’ but that’ll do.  So does a sub talk to a goddess like that?

No he fucking does not – quite right.  So you can start speaking more respectfully,
you little shit.

Well yes, as a matter of fact I do think you should
apologise.  Down on your fucking knees!

And to show how sorry you are, I think we’ll have a
financial penalty.  Let’s see – what’s
the most expensive item on our web site… mahogany whipping bench with attachments.
Right – you’re buying three of those. 
Then maybe you can spend any money you have left paying someone to strap
you over one of them and beat the crap out of you.

Yes, we do take Amex.  But you have to ask very, very politely.

Normal service

Right, after that little April interlude, this blog will return to its usual subject matter.  Or ‘object matter’ when male submissives feature in the pics.


I don’t really ‘get’ maledom anyway, to be honest.  I mean, I can just about see that it could be quite sexy to have an attractive woman all tied up, available for any sexual act of my choosing.  I could iron one of her skirts, for example, or tidy her tights drawer even if what she really wanted was to be brought a cup of tea or have the garage cleared out. The thought of that kind of power’s quite a turn on.  But what’s the point of my being turned on if if she’s completely helpless in the bondage – she can’t remove my chastity belt with her hands tied, can she?  In any case, how can I decide what I want to do if she’s gagged and can’t tell me?  See, I just think maledoms haven’t really thought it all through.


Oh well. Here are some things I do understand, dimly at least.

Ah, yes, the purest form of male submission: not even daring to irritate her with your presence.  I find women really appreciate it when I do that.

Then, bruised and bloody, the winner gets to have a heavy BDSM session.  Quite a day.
But you have to book.  And until you’re a ‘regular’ you’ll need to pay a deposit in advance. No exceptions – sorry.

I’m sure she respects us really.  It’s a kind of harsh femdom persona she puts on. She’s really good at it, don’t you think?
 This is of course the lovely Gigi Allens, whose boots I am not fit to lick, and whose name I don’t even know how to pronounce. Hard g, soft?  One of each?
The pre-marital agreement also refers to ‘objectionable conduct’ so don’t even think of arguing – that’s a red flag right there.

Hmm. Have I posted hat last one before? I have a system for this blog to avoid that, with ‘posted’ and ‘unposted’ folders (over 1000 captioned images presently in the latter, so this blog will be here for a while!  Keep coming back.) Unlike the Tumblr site, where I just randomly post previously bloggered images, so there’s repetition from time to time (2700 now posted, though, so it doesn’t happen often! Keep going back – although there is nothing there that has not been here so I don’t really understand why people do).  Still, the above looks awfully familiar.  Oh well, have an extra one:

Oops. My bad.


Female submission month

You know, although it has been going for over five years, there’s one topic in the big toybox that is BDSM that this blog has never covered: female submission.  I think it’s time Contemplating the Divine bit the ball-gag, so to speak, and sought to depict this excitingly weird practice, in several posts over this month.   

I have found some images of female submission and tried my hand at a few captions. Obviously, it’s not really my thing so these might be a bit hit-and-miss at first, but I’m sure I’ll get there.

I hope that my core readership with femdom interests won’t abandon the blog completely during this time.  It’s just a matter of numbers, really: I have noticed that sites featuring female submission seem to be much more common, so I think there must be many more readers for this sort of material.  But we’ll just try it out during April and see.  Around the end of the month, I’ll have a look at the readership figures and take a view on whether to continue.  If there’s a big increase in traffic, I might turn the blog into one focusing on female submission, perhaps with an emphasis on school scenes and suchlike. But more likely, the future of the blog is as a mix of male and female sub imagery.


So here are some sexy servitor-captioned images of females on the submissive side of BDSM play.  Yay!


Trigger warning: contains images of ladies being treated with less than their due respect.  Male submissives should not look at these pictures.  I certainly didn’t when I posted them, so I warn you now that some might be upside down.











Well, that’s that. April fool obviously, but you knew that, right?  Course you did.


Except for the lovely picture of Madame Sarka being her lovely self, I found that a sickening display of perversion.  I hope all you dominant males feel suitably disgusted with yourselves and turn to something more wholesome and natural, like sissy maid laundry service, pegging or penis sounding.  You’ll feel so much better about yourselves, believe me.

Back to normal next time, if I can get these atrocious images out of my head enough to continue this blog.

Reminiscence




Really? Oh my god! 
That must have been, like, so embarrassing!  Hey – you know, the same thing happened to my
brother?  When he was 15?  Mom walked in just when he was…
well, actually you know, just when he was finishing if you know what I mean!  And he couldn’t stop so it happened right
there in front of her!
Yeah. He was pretty embarassed about that!
 
Mom was kinda strict too. Especially about that kind of stuff.  She paddled him so hard he could
hardly sit down for days.  Made him read out the bits of the bible about the ‘sin of Onan’ while she did it.
Yeah?  Your mom
paddled you too?  What, with a big wooden
paddle?  Ooooh – that must have hurt.
So when did all this happen?
About 25 minutes ago?
Oh.
Erm…
Right.
I just…I
dunno, thought maybe it was when you were a teenager or something… and, erm…
Hey!  You know, what I just suddenly remembered?  I can’t go tonight! I promised my friend Becky I’d
help her with her hair.  I am so sorry!
What?  ‘Where does
Becky live’?  Oh… well, hey, where do you
live?
OK.  It’s right the
other direction from there.

I hope you liked that.  I just wanted to warn regular readers that the next posting, due on Friday, is going to be a bit of a change of theme for this blog, as it will feature female submission.  Obviously, that’s not something that everyone who reads Contemplating the Divine will be into, so I just wanted to warn you as I don’t want to offend anyone.  Maybe it’s a mid-life crisis, maybe it’s something else, but it’s just a theme I feel I want to explore at this stage in my sexual journey and I’ve tried my hand a few captioned images.  Anyway, if you’re broadminded enough, come along and see what you think!
Servitor

Controlling promiscuity after hours

Shame they never made a video for that one. 

The Stranglers, of course.  Who are also famous for a lyric about a woman’s clitares*… which one day I will work into a caption as an extremely bad pun**.

But today, we have a scholastic focus.

It’s always worth negotiating.

Oh well.  Adult life was fun while it lasted, I guess.
Hmmm.  Might have to review her salary after a while.







But when does the blow job happen?





Well, if she can’t be bothered to get the details right, then what’s the point, eh?  I mean, really!  I’d have a word with her about it, but I’m still very bruised from last time.







*  No, actually it doesn’t mean that.  Just go and look it up for yourself, OK?  Honestly, do I have to provide a link for everything?

** I haven’t actually thought up the pun yet.  But I think we can confidently predict it will indeed be extremely bad.