Memo to self: stop using the phrase “there’s nothing worse than X” in front of SO. She takes it as a personal challenge. |
You’ll soon discover that a day with no whipping at all is a special day. Very special. |
Don’t worry, they’re not having you castrated and lobotomised until after the marriage. Just after: between the ceremony and the reception. You can think of it as your wedding gift to them. |
Poor old Simon – doesn’t get to see the sexy lingerie! And to think she was worried you might be jealous of him. |
Appendectomy: of course. After all, that nurse would hardly have shaved his groin area this morning if it was his throat that was being operated on, now would she? | |