tea dance – Contemplating the divine

She knows, she just doesn’t care

Erm, right, thank you, Ma’am.. Miss… Ma’am. Yes… well, you see, it’s like this. I don’t – or at least, let me start another way, erm…well, I’ve been thinking, erm… in my own time, obviously, and, errr… well…

Salmon? What – real fresh salmon? Then how is she ever going to persude him to eat the tin of disgusting, gristly cat food with jelly I saw her get out? I’m not sure she’s thought this through.

What an astonishing plot arc. They’ll win prizes for originality for that, for sure.

Marie’s not really selfish. She was just enjoying herself so much she didn’t think about how much she was leaving for others to play with, that’s all. Don’t judge her harshly.

Don’t worry: these bouts are more about play-acting than real violence. Anyway, I expect the medics can sew it back on; I’m pretty sure she didn’t swallow.

Looks like a nice gentle start to the session… maybe you should try some brattish behaviour, to liven things up?

The boys were falling like an avalanche

Ya ya baby.

I think she has a choice… maybe she should assert herself more? Take control of her own life (as well as yours, obviously).

Actually, the photo was taken just before this shoot went horribly wrong. She slipped and broke a heel, poor thing. And it wasn’t just a clean break at the base where it joins the sole, either: it splintered at a narrow part of the stem so the pair was a complete write off – one of her favourites too. Oh, and as she slipped, all her weight fell onto the saw for a moment, so there was blood all over that bench and… well, the whole day is not one of her happier memories, let’s just put it like that. She had other pairs of shoes, obviously, but that’s not really the point, is it? They were special.

You know where this wonderful image originated, don’t you? Of course you do.

It’s weird how bulls won’t fold and neatly stack their sex partners’ underwear, like a normal person.

I hope they don’t fall out over the inheritance. Of course, it depends which husband dies first.

Dommes work hard. Mine locked me in a box the other day and gave me an entire 24 hour ignoring session, when I’d only expected three hours, and she didn’t charge me any premium over her usual hourly rates! They’re not as cruel and heartless as the image they mostly like to project, dommes, you know.

Respect cannot be earned

It can only be taught. Something like that, anyway. Now, more of this.

I’d ‘freely consent’, wouldn’t you? Well… I mean, I would if I were free, obviously.

I’ll just try to hold it in, I think. You wouldn’t believe how much fuss Travis makes when I ask him to do that.

Later on, she started having twice-weekly sessions with her tennis instructor, ironically enough.

With this ring, I thee enslave.

Wow. You could almost believe she actually intends to do it, huh? Yum.

Marital law

I know how to satisfy my wife sexually. I just have to hire some help to do it in practice.

Depends what you define as a problem. There’s obviously going to be a lot of screaming, for a start, and – what’s that you say? She doesn’t mind the screaming? Oh, OK then. No, I don’t think there’s going to be any kind of problem.

Of course, she doesn’t regard him as being on the same level as all her appliances. She’s a lot closer to her vibrator, for a start.

You should keep the little teensie condoms around, though. You might get lucky, after all! How many have you got left? Three? Oh yes, that should be more than enough. The honeymoon only lasts two weeks, after all.

Aunt Clarissa’s used to slightly looser men, of course. I mean, Uncle Arnold hasn’t spent a day without a butt-plug since the 1960s, I understand.

Little man you’ve had a busy day

… so it’s time for a spanking, then all tucked up for an early night with hands secured in your special mittens. Don’t worry about wifey – she’ll find something to amuse herself with.

You’ll probably also find that you prefer not to watch sport on TV and you love going to bed early. In fact, you’re going to discover a lot of things about the real you. Isn’t that nice?

I used to worry that women would discover I’m really rubbish in bed. But so far, as luck would have it, the situation just hasn’t arisen, so that’s OK.

There are probably a few things bothering him just at the moment. And there’ll be a few more, quite soon afterwards, I expect.

It’s nice they can sing while they’re working. I mean, having to end another human’s life, it’s a serious and depressing business, isn’t it? Good for them – keeping their spirits up like that.

Ah.. now that takes me back. I remember the very first face-slap of my married life. It was about – oooh, seven seconds after the last face-slap of my unmarried life, as I recall.

Now do you want to dance or do you want to bite?

…nuffin on the telly…

Pet play… of a sort.

Shame the marriage went downhill, after what sounds like such a good start.

There’s nothing she enjoys more than a good, long, hard safeword.

No, it didn’t. But it keeps publishing its blog anyway, out of sheer wilfulness.

Chuck’s never struck me as the sensitive type; but yeah – probably best to ask.

Gynarchy for the UK

It’s coming some time…maybe.

All these are to be read out in a Bri-ish accent, orright?

Don’t worry – she’ll give her one more chance. She’s quite forgiving really. She’s just cross because she’s got to go to all the trouble of murdering you and disposing of the body, that’s all.

I myself am very firmly opposed to corporal punishment. Forunately, nobody pays a blind bit of attention to my views.

She’s good at riddles, too.

Send him out? Honestly, Henry shouldn’t let her just boss him around like that. He should stand up for himself… be a man.

He does. But I’m sure he’s grateful inside. The British Institution – not to be confused with the Royal Institution, although the one time the BBC made that mistake was the best Christmas science lecture series ever.

See if you can spot the eight men concealed within this picture!

Penile servitude

It turns out they did get the sugar, but it was a little untidily heaped in the bowl, so, you know…

Bad interns get spanked. Good interns get spanked and made to wear little lacy panties too.

I had to go to court once. The lady magistrate ordered me to be bound over to keep the peace. But apparently that doesn’t mean what you might think. Who knew? I just started to get myself ready, then and there, but… it’s a long story but anyway, I ended up sentenced to six months with hard labour for an obscene display in contempt of court. So that turned out quite well in the end.

Odd thing to say. I think she looks very nice.

And that’s before they start.

It is a truth universally acknowledged…

…that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good hard spanking

Contemplating the Divine goes Jane Austen for the day! Yes! Captioned images of Regency female domination. Hot chicks in empire-line dresses! Well-born males degradingly forced to engage in social intercourse with ladies below their proper station! Wild tea dances!

Remember, you saw it here first! And probably last.

Don’t worry, back to the leather boots and miniskirts tomorrow, I expect. But with taste, always with taste.

Incidentally, stats are now working again (hello – I can see you, in aggregate anyway). Blogger said it was a ‘known problem’. If I’ve been given a chore by my Significant Other, didn’t do it and just said it was a ‘known problem’ when She pointed it out, I wouldn’t expect to get away with it. I’d expect a beating. But then I’ve always been lucky that way.