Stepford Husband – Contemplating the divine

The shape of things to come

Another science fiction-themed post! Sadly not featuring those whip wielding Amazons from Space 1999 this time but I’ll try to remedy that in future.

It’s very important to maintain carefully controlled conditions, in science. I expect that’s just what she intends to do.

Maybe when The Change happens, whatever that is (and how do they pronounce those capital letters anyway?) everything will become much clearer.

They had to replace the ‘Cruelty free’ label with ‘Cruelly tested on male animal experimenters and cosmetics industry executives’ but it didn’t do the sales any harm at all.

Her culinary ideas might be a bit odd but she’s really good at sex. Just ask the vacuum cleaner.

And you don’t even need to wear a condom: absorbing your bodily fluids is actually her goal. So what’s not to like? Apart from imminent death, obviously, but if you’d run away you could have been hit by a bus or something that same day, you know?

Oh dear. I hope she finds some sort of use for it.

Lady’s man

I certainly am… well, a lady’s boy, anyway.

There’s nothing like standing in the corner with a well-smacked bottom on display to give you a sense of perspective.

Her fees are reasonable. She isn’t, I’m glad to say.

I tried calling the NHS helpline once, because I thought it would be a turn-on to ask a nurse all sorts of questions about the safety of enemas and how to deal with unwanted erections. The nurse I ended up speaking to was very sympathetic and started taking me through all of the details – but I must somehow have let on that I was just phoning for the sexual turn-on, so it got a bit embarassing after that. Anyway, he was very nice and we’ve agreed to meet up some time after lockdown ends, so that ended well.

Sometimes a session starts badly, but I find when that happens the best thing to do is put it behind me and try to enjoy myself, anyway.

Wearing a shock collar can give you a sense of perspective too… along with a lot of very unpleasant electric shocks, obviously.

Captivating ladies

Actually, unlike many men with small penises, I don’t obsess about it and feel inadequate and ashamed about its size. My feelings of inadequacy and shame are much more broadly-based than that.

It’s just to redress the balance. Men are no good at empathy. Not like women: my SO always knows when I’m hurting badly, no matter how much I try to conceal it.

It’s much shorter than my punishment song – which has seventeen verses. Even though I’ve never considered myself a good singer, my SO usually enjoys it so much she ‘asks’ for an encore. Sometimes two.

Lucky bastard – he’s going to be experiencing his top sexual fantasy for the rest of his life.

The gentlemen in the picture likes to claim he is ‘very experienced in BDSM’ but actually, he’s about to discover there’s a lot more to it than he had ever imagined.

Abject-oriented


I’m definitely going to have words with them about it when they visit! I expect that won’t be long. They’re very affectionate… in their way.

I might have a few thoughts about ironing? And obedience to women? But I guess those will survive the treatment.

Yes you do. You know you do. You’re probably doing it right now. Pervert. (That is kind-of what the blog’s for, after all)

I’m not following. I’m just walking here, enjoying the view. I expect if I just explain that, it’ll all turn out all right.

It’s actually a simple enough operation to remove it. The only problem is it’s tuned to detect such thoughts, so you’d be rolling around on the floor in agony before you could even pick up the phone to a doctor to arrange it.