shorts – Contemplating the divine

Tears before, during and after bedtime

It’s actually quite high in calories, but don’t worry about that because you’re unlikely to be able to keep much of it down.

Thank goodness for that. I think you can just leave the case in her capable hands.

I dunno – I find shops vary in the degree to which they are kink-friendly. Once I was sent to find some gear for an adult baby session and for some reason the staff in the ‘early years’ shop got all weird about it when I started asking about how strong their leather reins sets were, and whether the cots could be fitted with padlocks. But then on another occasion, I had to buy a hairbrush and the shop assistant in the department store I went to was delighted to help me try every one of them out. Said it was something she wished she could do to more customers. So you never know.

Silly boys. Reinforced seat trousers do little good when they’re around your ankles, anyway.

Male brains don’t multi-task. Mine barely tasks at all, to be honest. Now then: I was writing a caption..?

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Hopefully devoted

It might sting a bit. More probably, it’ll sting a lot, actually.

She’s not a big fan of mens lib, to be honest. Just old-fashioned that way.

Sounds a bit edgy. Still, what’s the worst that could happen?

It’s a perspective thing – like that dress the Internet went crazy about. If you’re looking at this picture and thinking about your own cock, then her strap-on bound to look huge, isn’t it?

I wonder what they’re expecting to happen? I mean there’s just you, a bare concrete cell and a strange scratching and scrabbling sound from behind that grill to your right there…

Fatale attraction

Normal service is now resumed. And I can use the letter ‘i’ and everything.

Impalas! Intrepid! Vicissitude! Inimitable! Mississississississipipipipitipie!

Oh god, that felt good.

On we go.

It’s not a good idea to make her cross.

That’s right, Dave. Stand up for yourself, mate.

Oh, it’ll be OK. Everyone has to start somewhere. Big whip, huh? Small room…

I asked my SO for a regular date to be fixed for my masturbation day. She chose 29th February.
She can be cruel like that.

Yeah, don’t beat yourself up about it. That’s her job.
(joke copyright the Addams Family movie. It’s better when Angelica Houston says it.)

My shorts

Some very short stories, some too short even properly to be considered short stories. “Skimpy” stories, perhaps.

Testing his limits

Mistress Persephone let go of the mouse in frustration and picked up the phone.

“davey!” she shouted when it was answered on the second ring. “I have hit your credit card limit again! That is the third time this month! Pay your bill right now, and from now on I want you to check your balance every three days. If this card is refused for lack of funds just ONE more time, davey…!” and She slammed the phone down, and angrily switched off the computer.

At the third stroke…

Mistress Persephone strode out of her dungeon carrying a cane, and knocked gently on the door of the next room. “Are you going to be ready to go soon?”

Her friend Lucy stuck a puzzled-looking head around the door. “We’re not going to leave for an hour yet, surely? It doesn’t start until eight.”

“But it’s nearly seven already” Mistress Persephone said.

“No it isn’t” Lucy replied. “It’s not even six o’clock yet.” She thought for a moment. “You do know the clocks went back last night, don’t you?”

“I…” Mistress Persephone began, then stopped. “Oh. No, I forgot.” She said. “So we’ve got plenty of time.”

“That’s right” Lucy replied cheerfully, closing the door again.

“And davey wasn’t an hour late…” Mistress Persephone mused to herself , looking down at the cane in Her hand. She swished it back and forth a few times, thoughtfully. “Oh well”, she said, to no one in particular. “I don’t suppose it did him any long term harm. I’ve started so I might as well finish.”

And, cane at the ready, She strode back into the dungeon.

Idiom

“Well he should choose his words with more care, then, shouldn’t he?” Mistress Persephone complained. “What did he think I’d do, when he said he would crawl across broken glass for me? Idiot.”

“I’ll get a mop” sighed Lucy.