office – Page 5 – Contemplating the divine

Cause you’re my lady, I’m your fool

I occasionally have difficulty getting through passport control, admittedly. But I always have a permit to travel signed by a responsible female, so it’s OK.

The lovely Goddess Lexi on the right there. And… another lovely goddess on the left I’m sure one of you will tell me who that is, won’t you?

She’s so professional, it hurts. It hurts a lot.

Because reasons? No? OK – I’ll get back to work.

And this goddess is Mistress Arella. I knew that without even looking at the label, there. Czech, you know. I wonder if it’s something in that country’s history…. invaded by Germans, Russians… and I’ve heard the frost is cru-el.

She must have another cummyshoe for goodness sake. They sell them in pairs. Why does it always have to be this one?

I personally think that a boy can do almost any job a woman can do. Just not as well and only under strict female supervision.

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom. So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like. I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly. (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt. Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her. Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots. Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.

A sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.

Sometimes I link to 80s British music at the start of these posts, and it’s only just struck me that never once so far have I featured the greatest band to come out of the UK in the last – oh, fifty years at least. So here’s something from the Tap. Oh – and the content? Just for once, it is actually related to the general theme of this blog.

OK, so her kink is not your kink. But would it kill you to do something that turns her on for a change?

Democracy’s wonderful, as long as not too many men vote. This set-up looks OK.

She’ll want to be tight up there for the bridge shot. But stick around, as she’ll probably change down to something a bit looser to finish the break.

Hmm. You’ll appreciate that as a sub male I don’t at all approve of threats or allusions of CP towards women? But what I approve or otherwise is unimportant.

I’ve heard he’s been in some space movies too. But the only space movie I’ve ever enjoyed was Interstellar, so I wouldn’t know about that.

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes. Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.

The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather. Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I? OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.

No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…

Subtexts

You know, people think owning a doctor is just an easy way to get a lot of money, but it can be a lot of work whipping them through all those years of medical school.

I wonder how they do work around there?

Doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy her job, of course. She just knows how to separate the professional and the personal, that’s all.


These two seem to be consummate professionals, though.

Quick test for regular readers – have I published the one above before? I experienced a colossal failure due to laziness and incompetence technical glitch earlier this year, and I don’t always have a good record of which images I’ve put up before. Google Images can’t find it but it looks very familiar (apart from the fact that I wrote it, obviously). Remember: if you spot a previously posted image, I’ll put up another, extra, one.

Good to know. Damage to equipment’s a worry too. I sometimes fear that, after repeatedly hitting her boots with my testicles, or vigorously slapping her tawse with the palms of my hands, I might cause scuffing.

Extra one for the sin of repetition (and after a moment’s hesitation, I think you can try out some deviation).

Penile servitude

It turns out they did get the sugar, but it was a little untidily heaped in the bowl, so, you know…

Bad interns get spanked. Good interns get spanked and made to wear little lacy panties too.

I had to go to court once. The lady magistrate ordered me to be bound over to keep the peace. But apparently that doesn’t mean what you might think. Who knew? I just started to get myself ready, then and there, but… it’s a long story but anyway, I ended up sentenced to six months with hard labour for an obscene display in contempt of court. So that turned out quite well in the end.

Odd thing to say. I think she looks very nice.

And that’s before they start.

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn. Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it’s any consolation, Jerry’s no happier about it than you are, In fact, he’s bloody furious. Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm. That’s diamonds eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don’t want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?

Subjugated

Ah… reminds me of my collaring ceremony. It happened right here, actually, not three feet away from where I am crouching right now.

I’m very aware of sexism in the workplace, being one of the more inferior members of the inferior gender.

I don’t understand men who send women pictures of their penises. I mean, it’s just asking for trouble. Like waving a raw steak in front of a hungry leopard.

On the plus side, his steel tube is a lot bigger than mine or yours.

You say “Yes, please”.

Unsafe words

…and some bloody dangerous pictures too.

Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones. And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously.

Oh well. Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose.

I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV.

She wishes she didn’t have to do this, you know. She hates pain. Oh no, hang on – that’s him. Never mind. She’s fine with it.

Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances. But it’s never that close, admittedly.

…and a bonus topical one: