office – Page 5 – Contemplating the divine

Compliance training

He’ll do OK on personal appearance too. He looks like a cringing, terrified little worm, which is exactly how she likes it.

Don’t you just hate it when the dates of your personal appraisals at home and at work coincide?

Don’t worry, the HR people will deal with this sensitive matter appropriately, too. Perhaps you ought to drop round, thank them for resolving the matter so speedily? They’re the unsung heroines of the workplace, in my view.

Chemical castration – some say it’s a valid alternative to physical castration, but I say why not try both?

Don’t worry – I don’t mean actual ‘bears’! No bestiality in this blog, thank you very much! No, the caption is suggesting a scene in which this lady is renting out her – husband, boyfriend, stepfather, slave? – to anyone who calls and on this occasion it’s going to be a group of big, hypermasculine male hairy biker types. He is presumptively heterosexual by inclination, so the implication is that she is lying, exhibiting gratuitous cruelty to her insignificant other. OK? There – now you can enjoy the caption. Anyone confused by any of the captions in this blog is recommended to read the template post, available here.

Castigation

My secretary at work handles all my appointments too. This evening, for example, I have an appointment to wash her boyfriend’s car.

Well, she won’t find anything down there, believe me! Ridiculous to have to go through these sorts of inspections, even now.

You can use the basin in the ladies’ bathroom, if it bothers you to be seen doing the handwashing in the mens’.

The divine Goddess Heather, of course, whom we might have contemplated here once or twice before.

You’d be surprised how more effective that can be than even the most enthusiastic amateur.

PS -just discovered this (rather excellent) post, and indeed quite a few more femdom tales by ‘Freddie’. If you like my stuff, I think you’ll like those. I do. Many of the rest of his stories feature dominant males, which for me… well, I just find it to hard to suspend disbelief when authors stray quite so far from real life as that, but I suppose it’ll rock some people’s boats.

Controlling passions

You can invest in ethical slaves too – taking the pay packets of men working in charity organisations and suchlike. The returns aren’t as high, obviously, but you know you’re doing good whenever you whip extra performance out of them, not just doing well.

Self-respect is a delusion to which males are often prone.

She’s going to want the mess cleaned up and taken away, too. Let’s hope she’s remembered to bring a little bag this time.

I’ve heard that a lot of great writers had a habit of getting up early and putting in a good solid four hours writing. Perhaps you could try that.

Probably facing rather a severe dressing down, by the look of it.

Strap, shackle and crop

…it wakes me up every time.

…and don’t forget to say a Hail Mary. She’s called Mary.

Very economical.

A good way for a sub to ensure he never says anything disrespectful is to cultivate a habit of only thinking devoutly respectful thoughts. It takes a lot of mental training, but it’s worth it. For a quicker solution, the same effect can be achieved just by beating the crap out of him if he speaks out of turn, or keeping him permanentlty gagged, so most dommes just go with one of those. And really, who are you to argue?

This is Divine Mistress Heather, seen from one of her many very lovely angles.

She has ideas about how to conduct their weekly performance reviews too.

It’s a good thing neither of them’s gay.

Cause you’re my lady, I’m your fool

… so beat me up before you go go

I occasionally have difficulty getting through passport control, admittedly. But I always have a permit to travel signed by a responsible female, so it’s OK.

The lovely Goddess Lexi on the right there. And… another lovely goddess on the left I’m sure one of you will tell me who that is, won’t you?

She’s so professional, it hurts. It hurts a lot.

Because reasons? No? OK – I’ll get back to work.

And this goddess is Mistress Arella. I knew that without even looking at the label, there. Czech, you know. I wonder if it’s something in that country’s history…. invaded by Germans, Russians… and I’ve heard the frost is cru-el.

She must have another cummyshoe for goodness sake. They sell them in pairs. Why does it always have to be this one?

I personally think that a boy can do almost any job a woman can do. Just not as well and only under strict female supervision.

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom. So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like. I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly. (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt. Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her. Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots. Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.

A sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.

Sometimes I link to 80s British music at the start of these posts, and it’s only just struck me that never once so far have I featured the greatest band to come out of the UK in the last – oh, fifty years at least. So here’s something from the Tap. Oh – and the content? Just for once, it is actually related to the general theme of this blog.

OK, so her kink is not your kink. But would it kill you to do something that turns her on for a change?

Democracy’s wonderful, as long as not too many men vote. This set-up looks OK.

She’ll want to be tight up there for the bridge shot. But stick around, as she’ll probably change down to something a bit looser to finish the break.

Hmm. You’ll appreciate that as a sub male I don’t at all approve of threats or allusions of CP towards women? But what I approve or otherwise is unimportant.

I’ve heard he’s been in some space movies too. But the only space movie I’ve ever enjoyed was Interstellar, so I wouldn’t know about that.

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes. Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.

The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather. Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I? OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.

No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…

Subtexts

You know, people think owning a doctor is just an easy way to get a lot of money, but it can be a lot of work whipping them through all those years of medical school.

I wonder how they do work around there?

Doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy her job, of course. She just knows how to separate the professional and the personal, that’s all.


These two seem to be consummate professionals, though.

Quick test for regular readers – have I published the one above before? I experienced a colossal failure due to laziness and incompetence technical glitch earlier this year, and I don’t always have a good record of which images I’ve put up before. Google Images can’t find it but it looks very familiar (apart from the fact that I wrote it, obviously). Remember: if you spot a previously posted image, I’ll put up another, extra, one.

Good to know. Damage to equipment’s a worry too. I sometimes fear that, after repeatedly hitting her boots with my testicles, or vigorously slapping her tawse with the palms of my hands, I might cause scuffing.

Extra one for the sin of repetition (and after a moment’s hesitation, I think you can try out some deviation).