Category: mouthsoaping

Foolish things

As often as she likes, obviously. Which is quite often.
Perhaps her mistress will come to see the advantages in having a male around. Maybe get one herself; I understand they’re very cheap to keep, they needn’t be irritating if they are permanently gagged and after all, she’s got a sub to make sure the nasty thing washes itself frequently.
It’s silly to complain about the taste: I mean, it’s not her fault the company that produces the shaving foam makes it so unpleasant, is it? Write them a letter if you’re so upset about it: I’m sure she’d buy you a stamp.
How could anyone be frightened of a sweet, harmless little creature like her?
It was a blonde joke, wasn’t it? ‘How many blonde nurses does it take to change an obnoxious man’s sexist attitudes’… was that it?
Seems a bit easier than the game of “Guess what implement’s next” that my SO likes to play with me strapped down over the whipping bench. I’m rubbish at it: I don’t think I’ve been right once in what must be over 20 tries, even though she gives me a choice between only two each time. No matter what I say, it’s always the other one. That’s odds of 2^20 against… over a million to one! Pretty unlucky… but as she likes to say, meeting her was such a lucky thing for me, I don’t deserve any more luck ever again, and of course I can’t argue with logic like that.

Thrashing out an agreement

Many people think that any deals thrashed out in the context of a long-term femdom relationship will inherently be unfair to the male, but it’s just not true. Every time my SO and I have come to an agreement about something, the deal has always involved my getting something I value: an imminent prospect of the cessation of pain, for example. That’s usually a lot more important to me than whatever it is I have to give up in exchange. So it’s a win-win, really.

It has to make both of them laugh, mind. It would be easy enough just to set Mistress Eleise off, as she loves a good ‘dumb blonde’ joke and will burst out in fits of giggles if she hears a new one. Try it if (as I have been) you are ever privileged enough to session with her – it can lighten the mood, especially if you have requested a heavy session. The ‘dumber’ the blonde character the better, take it from me: your experience will be memorable.

The wonderful, magnificient Eleise de Lacy, of course, and the delightful Miss Woods who has not had to suffer the unpleasantness of Servitor’s proximity.

Love, honour and obey as long as you both shall live.
I’m told a good way to teach males to curtsey deeply is to suspend a heavy weight on a short chain from their testicles. Ducking far enough down relieves the pain, briefly, you see. Another good way is to inflict unbearable pain on them until they get it right. Or why not try both?
Very true. She got only four out of twenty on her last test, so I’m afraid he’s really going to have to suffer.
Underwater cunnilingus can be quite hazardous to the male health even with ladies who don’t actually get off on drowning you, unless either they can reach orgasm really quickly or the male has oxygenated very thoroughly. Proceed with caution and if in doubt: try it first with someone who really doesn’t matter.

…and an extra one with an absurdly long caption, why not:

I’m not sure Mrs Hudson is going to be too happy about that. Especially as Holmes still has 150 of his 500 punishment lines to write: “It was thoroughly disrespectful of me to frown when Mrs Hudson smashed my violin, giving us all a much-needed respite from my tuneless playing.”

Damned lies and sadistics

 

Guys need to be kept busy, preferably with female oversight, or their attention wanders. There’s no one right way to do it.  It could be anything from meticulous housework for that one special lady, through scrubbing the pavements as part of a community-run cleaning squad all the way to five years of hard labour in a male re-education camp. It’s all good.

 

 

 

If you can’t afford a lovely sound-proofed dungeon and you want to enjoy the screams, just have a word with your neighbours.  Most will be perfectly happy with the noise, as long as you talk to them about it.  And you might even find a common interest!

 The lovely Mistress Mina Thorne, of course, about to show off her CBT skills.  I’d like to link to her web site but I am not at all sure that this is actually her, as I read somewhere she is retired, sin which case I’m afraid your C and B will just have to be T-ed by someone else.  Unless she isn’t retired, in which case they won’t.  I expect someone will know?

 

 

 


So you couldn’t even save up a few weeks’ pocket money?  No wonder she prefers Harold – I mean, apart from all the other reasons, obviously.


My SO was absolutely furious when I came home once with a prescription for painkillers. She said she felt it devalued the hard work she was putting into our marriage. It was very unfeeling of me, and I have to say I did feel very uncomfortable as a result, for a long time afterwards.


 

 

 

In-laws can take some getting used to and there’s no harm in getting out of the occasional evening with a little white lie, especially if you spend that evening learning to be a better husband.


Indignity


Ah… furniture privileges.  I remember the first time my SO told me I wasn’t allowed on the furniture any more and I cheekily asked if that included the whipping bench. How we laughed… or we would have done if I’d dared say it out loud.




Elbow-length latex gloves should come with a safety warning, in my view.  And latex gloves that cover the full length of the arm are just unsafe, no matter what the ‘experts’ might tell us about the length of the lower intestine.




See all the little gold rings on their toes?  Aren’t they pretty?  They’ve got lots more gold rings, for you to wear, so maybe you’ll look just as pretty too.  But they’re not going on your toes, obviously.


If it’ll help, the soaking wet towel she is planning to ram down your throat will taste quite soapy.





You might think that spousal abuse is neither funny nor sexy.  My wife disagrees, though: she loves it, so who am I to argue?


Boys will be toys

Maybe I’m just hungry… I expect she’d say that’s because she’s feeding me too often.
Lots of men find it quite hard to turn a woman on, sexually, but if you’re ever lucky enough to meet a real hard-core sadist, you’ll probably find that just doing whatever comes naturally pushes all her buttons in just the right way.
And she’s having sex for both of you now, so it’s quite a lot of work.




Nasty words can leave an unpleasant taste in the mouth.








Bob’s shortlisted for an Oscar, I understand, now.  If he wins, I wonder if he’ll put the credit where it is due in his acceptance speech?  Behind every successful man, they say…

When you’re in a fix

just call for the men in tights!






Well… those are two of her spanking aprons, anyway.  She has more.






You never know when you’ll need to do some sudden washing up in the middle of the night.




Hmm..  Turned out they don’t have a vibrator at the reception desk, but they sent up a couple of their room service guys anyway and they were able to sort the problem out, so that was OK.  Pretty impressive customers service, I’d say.



Now you see that’s just typical of my wife – she sends me out to buy the stuff but doesn’t tell me what she wants it for!  Now I’m going to have to buy both – she hasn’t heard the last of this, you know!

The magic’s still there.


Chain keep us together, running in the shadow

Yes, it’s another link to a music video with only the most spurious and tangential connection – if any – to the theme of this blog.  
 
That theme being, obviously, this:

He even scratched in the corner his tally of how many there are.  But you could wipe that off if you don’t want spoilers.

He’s going to have ever such a clean mouth. And a very respectful attitude too.

Hmmm. Looks like you’re gettig that date rape after all!

Oh, it doesn’t matter.  Mouth and anus – they’re just two ends of the same tube. As my SO likes to point out: shit comes out of both and ocasionally needs to be shoved into both too, so why worry?

Awww.  Sweet.


Long to reign over us

 
Ymmmph

 

Like many dommes, she’s actually the kindest person you could ever meet. Although she must know that the poor thing’s probably already dead, she’s going to pull and push and press and kick with all her might, if there’s still a chance that could get it out unharmed
Yes – useful tip there: it’s a ‘storage space’.  I went to the out of town furniture superstore and asked to see beds with an inbuilt cuckie closet and the saleswoman gave me ever such a funny look.  She took me to the right section, though, so I suppose that it was all right.  And she even let Raoul and my wife try the mattress out, so in the end it worked out quite well for everyone.
 
Yeah, lots of people say size doesn’t matter but they’re not the ones being used as pain-toys because it’s all they’re good for, now, are they?
 The glorious Gigi Allens, of course.  Is there a sadder phrase anywhere on the Internet than her self-description as a ‘former professional dominatrix’?  Howl!


Actually, for me it was the maid’s costume in that movie.  Mrrrrow!

 

And all I do is kiss you through the bars of a cage

… well I would if you put your boot a little closer, anyway.


 

About that which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.
Dommes.. they’re all about rules.
 This is the delightful Domina Liza.  I think I’d be happy in her cage forever, if I could see her dressed in green, setting off that stunning auburn hair, from time to time.
Regrets? He’s had a few.  And he’ll have plenty of time for a few more.




Well, he does need a new companion. Some might say the adventures would be a little dull, if he’s never allowed out.  But I’d watch it.
If you know what this caption is about, you might also enjoy this.  Or you might not.




What do you mean, this one doesn’t fit today’s ‘cage’ theme?  Of course it does.  The cage isn’t actually in the picture, because it hasn’t been delivered yet.  But it’ll be ready for you when you get back from honeymoon.




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