lesbians – Page 13 – Contemplating the divine

Divine retribution

Do not seek to question it.

It’s funny how you sometimes feel let down after a birthday, don’t you think? As if there should have been more to it, somehow? Oh well – there’s always next year. In you go.

Yes, let’s get it sorted.

Still am, I’m afraid to say. Ow!

And she’s used to getting what she wants.

Easy to confuse the two. Wouldn’t it be awful, though, if you visited a beautiful young professional lady for an intensive CBT session, then found yourself spending the next two hours putting positive feelings into practice?

Teenage kicks right through the night

Great song, terrible idea if you have to get up and go to work the next day.

Like, totally.

Oooh. Four, I think. Yes. Four. But strangely, there’s another eight I never reach. I wonder what they’re for?

Actually you do kiss on both cheeks too. That’s the next bit, after she turns round.

I’m beginning to think that bloody die is loaded. But she wouldn’t do that to me. Would she?

Don’t forget to tell her that joke. You know – the one you found on the Internet to show her how witty you are.

Try to see it Her way

Quite a moment here, in your marriage. Because it’s the last time you’ll hear “fetch the canvas bag” without experiencing that stab of fear.

Nothing wrong with a healthy day’s sport. Really, they’re just helping Nature to keep the numbers down.

Another femdom castration caption? Dear me

Hmmm… she’s rather pretty isn’t she? It’ll be fun fantasising about her when you’re lying in bed after your operation. As long as your throat doesn’t ache so much you’re not feeling in the mood, anyway. Something to look forward to!

Lesbian twosome is the closest youll get

God, it can be agonising waiting for a woman to come sometimes, can’t it? Especially when you’ve started drawing blood. Oh well – better get on with it.

Really, you can scream and beg as much as you like. She doesn’t mind at all.

Femdom captions. More femdom captions.

Oi, Google! Over here. More femdom captions. Other world kingdom. Dominatrix. Bandicoots. Anne Hathaway. Kittens doing amusing things on video.

That’s enough site optimization for now. On we go.

The arms only get broken anyway, so it’s a bit silly really.

No danger of this one being talked about in the secretary’s pool. Not as long as she gets that pay rise. And yours too.

It’s better to give than receive. And important always to swallow, too.

Of course, she’s a bit of an amateur and there’s lots she doesn’t know about. Safewords, for instance. She doesn’t know about those. Or care.

Lesbian girlfriends and punishment oh my

Poor Natalie. I hope she gets over it quickly, don’t you?

Just a few captions I tossed off this morning

Sorry, I think there might have been some punctuation missing there.

Contempt. Indifference. Marriage.

I expect you’ll be able to work out why. After all, you’ll have plenty of time to think.

That’s a little unfair. Let’s not forget production of a few dribbles of something that looks like snot and tastes horrible. Ah, ’tis a magical thing the male orgasm. If I remember rightly, anyway.

Femdom caption now with added search terms

I like the way she tries to motivate you not to let him bite off your cock or testicles by telling you she’ll be cross if he does.

It’s just a lot quicker that way. You’re graded on a scale of F to F-, by the way. Best of luck.

Gently brutal

Consent: it’s the most important word in BDSM. Of course Jane will usually say it’s OK – but you should always, always ask.

And yet they’re too small for her boyfriend. What a waste.

I quite enjoy the occasional onesome. It’s just the beating afterwards that bothers me. In fact, I’m reporting tomorrow, so maybe I should watch what I say.

It’s sad that there are still so many people in the economy who have to do such disgusting things for a living. Still, quite a lot of investment bankers have now moved on to other careers, like our friend in this picture.

Men understand men, you see. She’d never have thought of that.

On the fourth day of Christmas

My Mistress gave to me
…four across the buttocks
…three across the knuckles
…two hours in the corner
…and an hour being spanked across her knee.

I expect they’ll find something to amuse themselves with. I wonder if Amanda has any hobbies?

Their grades have been quiite poor, actually. I think your professional integrity requires you to resist revising them for as long as possible.

Ironically, being married to her is a bit more expensive too. Still, too late now.

Beat the shit out of him first argue later

Yes Ellen.

Wasn’t it nice of her to ask him? And isn’t Anne Hathaway just the most…., just the… oh words fail me and I’m not even fit to be unworthy of her. Sigh. SIGH.

Thou shalt not

Not without permission anyway.

And they all lived happily – oh no, hang on, no they didn’t.

Bunny girl dominatrix...always wanted to type that phrase

I think it’s great when husband and wife can work together. But don’t expect her to help out with the housework – remember who’s bringing home the big bucks in this relationship. She earns more money, too.

Cruel dominant lesbian wife...what's not to like?

A G5? A G5 airplane?

You have to time it right. Best to work up to it in stages, taking him a little further each time until that IQ’s just down where you like it.

She's not going to lick it off you know.

You need to learn to respect her rights. Or just respect her.

Another rather unimaginative headline featuring femdom captions

With a big hello to search engines from all over.

Now, after a headline like that, I suppose there had better be some captioned images of female domination, hadn’t there?

But also more enjoyable for her. There’s always an upside.

So with this one I – ow! – excuse me, I was just – OOH! – I’m sorry, I really…ohhhh that hurts!…need to move on to the next. No caption here.

OW! No better!

Right. Think calm thoughts. It’s funny – we give our cat the stuff in tins as a treat, and the dry biscuity stuff for normal food. So when my wife makes me eat the contents of one of the tins, I guess both me and the cat are unhappy about it.

Isn’t it an awful feeling? When you just know you’re going to have an argument. But all arguments end, you know that too. And you’ll be a better husband for it, after all.

Men behaving obediently

As a matter of fact she’s brought the whip so you’ll better appreciate her point of view. Now…go and stand facing that wall and pay attention.

I mean, don’t they all? But try pointing it out to them, and they’ll only beat you senseless and lock you in a cage for six hours.

Of course, Penny’s down one slave as a result, but she always gets plenty more for Christmas anyway.

Don’t they look lovely in those coats? Much nicer to look at that some silly old house.