kind and clever. He was heir to a prosperous Kingdom, where the people were
happy and peaceful. The King and Queen
owned many palaces, all of them gleaming with marble, with cellars full
of gold and silver, with jewels beyond count. Truly, the Prince was the
luckiest man alive except for one thing: he had a laughably small penis.
noticed how tiny the royal todger appeared to be even for a baby. But he reassured the King and Queen that all
would be well, when the Prince hit puberty.
Yet puberty came and went, and by the time he was 20, the Prince still
had a cock little larger than he had when he was a baby, although now it stood
up stiffly like a drawing pin whenever the Prince got excited – which was often.
and Queen were anxious to marry their only son off as early as possible. Beautiful princesses came from lands far and
near, but all had heard about the Prince’s little problem and all wanted to see
it before becoming betrothed. Soon
enough, peals of girlish royal laughter would ring out through the palace, and
the courtiers would hang their heads in despair, as yet another royal carriage
rattled hastily away out of the palace gates, bearing a still-giggly princess
in the back.
|They say it is a rare man who can always make a woman laugh. The Prince was such a man.|
As word spread of the Prince’s embarrassing condition, the Kingdom
became known as ‘the Kingdom of the Prince with the laughably small penis’. From the lowliest beggar to the mightiest
baron, all of the real men in the Kingdom, sporting perfectly adequate tackle,
found that they were thought by foreigners to have nothing worth speaking of
between their legs – and the women of the Kingdom had to fend off foreign men
eager to give them the pork stuffing that they were assumed to be lacking.
ever finding a beautiful Princess to whom they could wed their darling son,
with his dainty dangling ding-dong.
clattering and a rattling that roused the whole palace. This was unusual in
itself, since it had been years since any princesses visited. More unusual still, the driver and footmen –
footpeople – on the carriage were all women.
Usually, princesses were accompanied by handsome young men, who would
sit making gestures towards their ample, bulging trouser treasure, while the Princess
was inside trying to control her laughter. Yet this carriage was accompanied
only by tall, rather serious-looking women.
the Crown Princess of Femlandia!”. And
down from the carriage emerged a young lady of rare beauty and still rarer
richness of garment, whose countenance was sterner still than those of her
minionettes. She looked around her, with
a bored and faintly contemptuous expression.
puffed the King, who had come running out of the palace to greet his guest.
fixing his watery blue eyes with a level stare from her pools of steel grey.
the South Eastern tower of the palace, but the Princess and several of her
entourage had already swept off and were entering the building.
gloom, feeling sad and useless, as he often did. Had it been 700 years later, he would
probably have been wanking around to no purpose on the Internet, but in those
benighted days there was nothing better to do when wasting time than watch the
dust-motes dancing in sunbeams, so this was what he was doing.
accompanied by two tall blonde courtiers, dressed in military regalia and
because he had not previously had a speech impediment of any kind.
“Here to inspect the goods. Trousers
have much to – “ began Richard, wondering where on earth that stammer had come
replied, smiling slightly at one of the female soldiers at her side, who
blushed and returned the smile more fully.
or my guards here will take them down for you.”
there, his legs illuminated by a sunbeam. There was silence in the room, which
was eventually broken by the Princess.
a closer look and at almost exactly the same time, both of the female soldiers
burst out laughing.
obviously not really cross with the two blonde warriors, who stifled their
giggles and brought themselves to a semblance of attention.
the bottom, and stepped forward, bringing out a magnifying glass that she had
thoughtfully provided for herself, and examined the matter at hand more
his head forward so that he was staring directly at her milky and ample (but
not excessive) bosom. Then she let go,
and continued her magnified examination.
The Princely prick had become erect and had doubled in size to almost
nothing at all.
expression of contempt came over her face, and her hand involuntarily jerked
slightly, as if flicking a conductor’s baton, or perhaps a riding whip.
into the Prince’s face.
had somehow been cursed to repeat the first word of every sentence he spoke for
the rest of his life.
want. That you’ll be wishing for it to be smaller… would you like me to do that?”
world. I’d do anything.”
quavered. “I’ve heard those are, well, that they’re… rather strict. To men, anyway.”
cock or not? Also – and I might not have
mentioned this – when we rule here together, your penis will be the largest in
the palace. Would you like that, too?”
holding her hand out for a shiny metal object that one of her guards handed
at the touch of cold metal and instantly felt his prick soften back to its
previous (almost microscopic) size.
he enquired, trying not to wince as he felt sharp pains and a weight as from a
thick band of iron tugging at his nonentity.
allen key (she was a well-equipped Princess, as befitted someone who was the
tyrannical honorary leader of the boy scouts movement of Femlandia). “You might
say it’s from the far-off fabled land of Hind.
It’s called a Kali’s Teeth bracelet.
There – it’s done.”
little disappointment was almost entirely invisible for real this time, swathed
as it was in a thick band of iron, studded with… well, studs. The weight of it pulled down uncomfortably,
but it was not as uncomfortable as the sharp pins digging into the tender
once more and his face jerked forwards, this time actually being pressed down
into the Princess’s own warm, soft bosom.
One of the guards looked slightly offended, but stared straight ahead.
of excitement and then – a sharp, stabbing pain in his tenderest parts! And another!
And another! As the Princess rubbed his face across her bosom, his nose
pressing down deep into her cleavage, the Prince felt as if every nerve in his
stiffening member was screaming the same song of agony.
please, please make it stop!” he gasped,
panting slightly and brushing the tears from his cheeks.
that something was not quite right.
as much dignity as is possible, with a tear-stained face and a heavy spiked
ring fastened to your genitals.
saluted and left the chamber, closing the door behind her. The tall blonde soldier stood outside for
fifteen minutes, as various strange sounds – thuds, and cracks and moans and
cries – emanated from within, but stood fast, preventing any of the curious
courtiers from gaining access to find out what was going on.
announced “Her Royal Highness the Crown Princess of Femlandia and her Prince
shambling Prince Richard.
“According to the traditional customs of Femlandia”
head slightly to expose a heavy iron collar, with a chain sneaking off towards
the Princess’s left hand. “I’ve heard about those traditions of yours.”
me uncomfortably large. You know. Down there.”
too!” exclaimed the King, as a heavy cylindrical object distorted the line of
the Prince’s trousers. “Wow!”
immediately! Let the word go out to all
four quarters of the Kingdom that the lovely Princess, er… the lovely Princess..?”
includes young Richard – were heading to her coach. The Princess climbed straight in, leaving
Richard to be secured to the side by his collar.
too”, she added with a look of disgust at the King.
the coach and giving the signal to move off.
The horses started to turn the carriage around, and Richard jogged
around with it.
parents wailed, at exactly the same time.
the whips cracked over the horses (accidentally catching Richard a nasty cut
across the shoulder) and the carriage lurched out of the courtyard, the heir to
the Kingdom desperately galloping alongside.
time, worn down by the cares their inadequately-equipped son had brought
them. Rich men, well aware of what
Femlandian rule would bring, paid for the finest medical experts to come and
treat them, but in a few years the Queen had died of sorrow and the King was on
Femlandian rule. There was a woman prime minister (but she wasn’t very good,
being neither strong nor stable) and many businesses had been made over to
female ownership. In schools, girls were educated in sciences and business,
while boys were taught needlework, cooking and how to simper attractively.
the Vicious and Cruel of Femlandia would bring an end to the fair and happy
land they had known all their lives. The
stories coming out of the Empire were too alarming not to take seriously, and
after all, men told one another, any empress who chose for herself the moniker ‘the vicious and cruel’ was probably no
wasted and died. And a few days later, the armies of Femlandia invaded,
receiving the surrender of the local militia forces with little mercy, much
brutality and a moderate amount of violent sexual abuse.
decorated with the brutal red, white and black symbol of Her Imperial Highness,
Empress Valerie the Vicious and Cruel, Oppressor of the Western Isles, Scourge
of the Northern Wastes and Terror of the Eastern Deserts, to give her her full
title. And trotting along at the side of
the carriage, the Prince Consort: older, considerably more scarred and with Her Imperial sigil burned proudly into his flesh – but still recognisably Prince
|Branding can be tricky but even an Empress will always prefer to do it herself, for that personal touch.|
long-suffering (oh, but she’d barely started) husband. “Do you recall?”
promise, reader? Not merely that he would have a penis that was uncomfortably
large. That he acquired the very day he met his wife-to-be, and had
still, as the bracelet of the Goddess Kali had not left his flesh since that
also promised that when she and her blushing bridegroom finally reigned
together (in a manner of speaking) that he would have the largest penis in the
palace. Do you remember that now,
dear reader? Because there will be a test.
promises. When she wanted to, anyway.
but some of them were happy, I
suppose, some of the women anyway, and, look, She certainly lived very, very Happily Ever After, OK? And that is what matters.
This isn’t a Valerie and Sandra story, but the Empress’s personality has a bit of ‘Valerie’ so I gave Her that name for old-times sake. If you want to read another fairy tale, that is a much closer description of the two ladies, try this. That’s one of my all-time favourites, the others being this and this.