ironing and irony – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

There must be an angel

It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little thoughtfulness and the daily touch of a razor-sharp blade.

When the cat’s away, the mice will.. well, do their chores and write lines, by the look of it.

Sometimes these things are just, well, involuntary aren’t they? It’s not that she wants to burn your hand with the iron – she just feels a compulsion.

She’s probably joking. Don’t you think she’s joking?

There are more hot chicks in empire-line dresses right here, if that’s your thing. According to Google, though, I’m the only person in the world for whom “hot chicks in empire-line dresses” is a thing, so maybe not.

Through the window

Oh, hi Mr Travis!

Are you leaning out just to say hi to me, or are you –

Oh dear. Again? Oh poor you. I think it’s awful the way she makes you bend over the window sill like that when she’s going to beat you. It must be so humiliating! I guess that’s part of the punishment, huh?

So what did you do this time?

Did you? Oh. We girls are quite particular about the way we have our dresses ironed. Ask your lodger next time – I might be able to give you some advice. Pleats are hard, though.

So is it the paddle again? I had a friend who used to get the paddle from his dad when I was a kid. He used to say it hurt like hell. One day his dad caught him saying that and paddled him double for profanity. Kinda fair, I guess.

No? Oh. I thought you got the paddle. What are you getting then?

A what? A “quirt”? What’s that?*

Oh. You mean, kind of like a whip? Oh boy, that sounds pretty rough. You get that just for messing up the ironing? Gee, you get whipped just for pleats not being straight. Your wife is kinda strict, huh?

Second time? Oh, OK. I guess you got the paddle last time, huh? Well, didn’t that make you kinda take extra care, this time, – and –

Yeah. Well, pleats are hard.

OK. Well anyway, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean – I guess you’ll feel uncomfortable enough pretty soon! I’ll just swing here for a bit. I’ll try not to look at you, when –

Oh, hi Mrs Travis! How are you?

Yeah, pretty good. Isn’t it great that the sun’s out again? I could just be out here all day.

Hmmm? No, no he hasn’t been round with the lawnmower for a while. Well… yeah, he did say he would. But it’s OK. I quite like the grass this long. Any time’s fine.

No really, I don’t mind! I’m sure he had other things to do and – well, all right. I guess he’s your husband, huh?

Oh – and if he’s coming round anyway? Do you think he could cut back some of the bushes, going back to the garden house? Only they’re growing over the side and it’s… Well, I guess I could just ask him. But I thought I’d check with you first, because – oh wow, is that the ‘quirt’? Boy, I’m glad that’s not for me. Wow, that’s pretty serious, huh? What’s it like when it –

OH!

Oh my god! Did you just – ? Wow, that was a real crack, like a – oh my god. Are you sure he’s OK? He looks kinda – oh are you gonna do it agai – Oh MY GOD!

(Hurriedly) OK, well, I can see you guys want to get on with it so – OH! Wow! Three. That must really hurt! – yeah, I’ll just… actually, I left my book inside. See you!

The end

* this:

Disempowering

Now that seems like an excellent objective in life. On with the captioned images (of female domination).

Femdom pony play with great big whips hurrah

Highly skilled people are the banking industry’s greatest assets, so it’s reasonable when times are hard to sell a few of them off.

What a kind offer. And they you were thinking that Emma and Laura were man-hating lesbian feminists. Just goes to show, you can never tell who will be the one to step forward with help.

Never mind. There are only 24 hours in a Thursday, just the same as the other days of the week.

Fake blonde dominatrix in slave husband dreams

A femdom fantasy in a femdom reality. How about that?

I don’t know why I’ve included this one. Nothing femdom about it. Is there?

No, not love, she said. Don’t you know that it’s different for girls?

Joe

So, with apologies to anyone who doesn’t share my Anne Hathaway obsession (I’ll run out of pictures or get stopped by her lawyers at some point, but not yet, please lord, not yet). On with the show.

Can’t or won’t.

Don’t worry, you won’t be conscious for all that long.

Domestic servitude means never having to say she's sorry

Well, granted you’ve spent much of your life and will probably spend most of your retirement in mind-numbingly tedious drudgery. But on the plus side, you’re really good at pleats.

Leather clad domina puts man into a cage oh my!

Curiously, though, he will be getting the pain and humiliation you might expect in such a scene. Just not quite in the way he was expecting.

She’ll be giving you a bit of a scolding while you’re writhing in agony on the ground, too. Psychotic, but fair.

Dealing with feelings of guilt and shame

These ladies know how to do that.

Moral hazard? Isn’t that some kind of predicament bondage fetish?

Femdom caption all about a little misunderstanding

Just one of those misunderstandings about silly little things…

Third time lucky.

And do try not to cry all over the freshly pressed clothes this time.

She’s just a trainee, but she’s hoping to become a fully-qualified interrogator. So she’s taking great pains to do the best job she can. Giving them too.

I give unto you a prophecy, according to the spirit which is in me

I was going to blog some captioned images of female domination, or maybe a silly short story or two, when a strange rosy glow filled the room, an eerie portal appeared before me and – in the fraction of a second it was open – three objects dropped onto the floor.

They appeared to be magazines. One garish, glossy, cheap and cheerful, one refined and serious, printed on thick quality paper and the last one – well, I could tell it had been put together by men, as it is badly printed, on poor quality paper, and held together just by a single staple.

I had time just to scan the cover pages and post them here. I considered not posting the childish scribbles of “Adam’s Apple” but it strikes me (ouch!) that these apparitions might be a scientific event of some importance, so I thought I should share all the materials.

Could this be a vision of the future? Its warm rosy glow promising us all a better tomorrow? It’s all too much for my poor male brain, so I will simply post them for the world to see, without further comment, while I go off to do the ironing.

Dominant Lady Quarterly with Madame Sarka is not available for perusal by males - please delete this file if downloaded in error

Fight the power! Rebel against the oppression of female domination!

I am sorry for including this ridiculous rag. Male liberation indeed…probably a sort of schoolgirl joke.