forced bi – Page 8 – Contemplating the divine

Compliance training

He’ll do OK on personal appearance too. He looks like a cringing, terrified little worm, which is exactly how she likes it.

Don’t you just hate it when the dates of your personal appraisals at home and at work coincide?

Don’t worry, the HR people will deal with this sensitive matter appropriately, too. Perhaps you ought to drop round, thank them for resolving the matter so speedily? They’re the unsung heroines of the workplace, in my view.

Chemical castration – some say it’s a valid alternative to physical castration, but I say why not try both?

Don’t worry – I don’t mean actual ‘bears’! No bestiality in this blog, thank you very much! No, the caption is suggesting a scene in which this lady is renting out her – husband, boyfriend, stepfather, slave? – to anyone who calls and on this occasion it’s going to be a group of big, hypermasculine male hairy biker types. He is presumptively heterosexual by inclination, so the implication is that she is lying, exhibiting gratuitous cruelty to her insignificant other. OK? There – now you can enjoy the caption. Anyone confused by any of the captions in this blog is recommended to read the template post, available here.

Managed care

Well, I hope she finds something to amuse herself with while you’re busy with all that.

You get to wear a nightie just like hers, too.

And she has a lot more than ten commandments.

I find I do some of my best thinking over a trestle. I think about stuff a lot when I’m there.

Wow. I think that’s the niceest compliment any girl has ever paid me.

Male In Name Only

Actually, although it’s a very specialised field of architecture, her fees are fairly low, not least because she doesn’t need to pay any assistants.

And they say castratrices have no feelings.

If he’s bad at sums, he might need a little thinking time in the corner to get the salary offer right.

I’d queue up…

I’ve always enjoyed a vigorously bisexual sex life: left or right hand, doesn’t matter to me.

Strap, shackle and crop

…it wakes me up every time.

…and don’t forget to say a Hail Mary. She’s called Mary.

Very economical.

A good way for a sub to ensure he never says anything disrespectful is to cultivate a habit of only thinking devoutly respectful thoughts. It takes a lot of mental training, but it’s worth it. For a quicker solution, the same effect can be achieved just by beating the crap out of him if he speaks out of turn, or keeping him permanentlty gagged, so most dommes just go with one of those. And really, who are you to argue?

This is Divine Mistress Heather, seen from one of her many very lovely angles.

She has ideas about how to conduct their weekly performance reviews too.

It’s a good thing neither of them’s gay.

Power play

Ah… the abusive dommie-psycho-mommie scene. Part of every domme’s standard repertoire. And all you need to get started are some wire coathangers.

The previous guy found the smell a bit pungent too. In fact, he said it made him vomit, it was so bad. But I’m sure he was exaggerating.

Everyone knows women all love sitting around having their boots cleaned and then smeared with semen. It’s amazing dommes get away with charging their clients so much to let them do it, really.

Hee hee. I’ve actually let it drain to 90% but I’m going to tell her it’s fully charged, because 90% is still a green light! Pretty sneaky, huh? That’s at least 25 minutes less screaming in agony. Guess I’ll show her!

It won’t matter to anyone who matters, anyway.

At Her Majesty’s displeasure

And she’s actually having a lot more heterosexual sex than before the change, so it’s all going rather well.

The wonderful Mistress Eleise, of course. Do you need the link? I’m sure you’ve visited her site already, no?

Oh no, not Oliver. I just don’t think we have anything in common, you know?

Hmmm… Maybe if she worked in metric?

Oh well. On with the marital bliss, I suppose.

I’m usually in the corner at parties, myself.

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom. So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like. I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly. (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt. Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her. Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots. Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.

Simply divine, darling

It’s always such a relief when finally the boxes are all unpacked, there’s a chain the right length in each room, all the pillories and cages have been assembled and you can get back to ordinary married life, for goodness sake.

She’s always taken roleplay very seriously. They tried medical fetish play once and it didn’t turn out well.

Making a decision of my own free will, to do exactly whatever she has told me, immediately, is the secret to a happy life I find.

Oh, you’ve already promised to honour and obey him, so adding love to the mix doesn’t change much.

The truth will not set you free.

Chain keep us together, running in the shadow

Yes, it’s another link to a music video with only the most spurious and tangential connection – if any – to the theme of this blog.

That theme being, obviously, this:

He even scratched in the corner his tally of how many there are. But you could wipe that off if you don’t want spoilers.

He’s going to have ever such a clean mouth. And a very respectful attitude too.

Hmmm. Looks like you’re gettig that date rape after all!

Oh, it doesn’t matter. Mouth and anus – they’re just two ends of the same tube. As my SO likes to point out: shit comes out of both and ocasionally needs to be shoved into both too, so why worry?

Awww. Sweet.