femdom – Page 162 – Contemplating the divine

Fatale attraction

Normal service is now resumed. And I can use the letter ‘i’ and everything.

Impalas! Intrepid! Vicissitude! Inimitable! Mississississississipipipipitipie!

Oh god, that felt good.

On we go.

It’s not a good idea to make her cross.

That’s right, Dave. Stand up for yourself, mate.

Oh, it’ll be OK. Everyone has to start somewhere. Big whip, huh? Small room…

I asked my SO for a regular date to be fixed for my masturbation day. She chose 29th February.
She can be cruel like that.

Yeah, don’t beat yourself up about it. That’s her job.
(joke copyright the Addams Family movie. It’s better when Angelica Houston says it.)

As a well-respected member of the BDSM community, I am often asked questions by novices to the scene. These are usually along the lines of “Why are your captions so fuckin’ lame, loser?”, but just occasionally someone requests my advice. And of course, I am always happy to oblige.

Naturally, all my experiences in the scene have involved paying pro-dommes – it’s not as if anyone’s going to spend much time in my sweaty presence unless they’re well compensated for it! But within this very limited sphere I have, I think, acquired some expertise – I might almost go so far as to say wisdom. And I am very happy now to share some of these insights with you, my loyal readership.

So, without further wittering: some advice to a novice sub. In the form of captions. Obviously.

The ladies featuring so beautifully, and misleadingly, in this post were (from the top):

Divine Mistress Heather
A lovely lady from Schoolmistress Fantasy
Lady Sophia Black
Mistress Eleise de Lacey
Mistress Darla (now retired I understand, but here from The English Mansion)
Miss Jessica Wood (who – you can be quite sure – most definitely wood not!).

You’ll always find me in the corner at parties

Yeah. I was always one of those guys in the corner at parties. You know? Just standing there, all embarassed, not knowing what to say as the laughter and flirting went on all around me?

My nose pressed tightly against the angle of the walls, and my trousers down around my ankles exposing my red, spanked buttocks for all to see.

I guess we’ve all been there, huh?

It’s good to have a job doing something you love. In my job, for example, I’m bossed around, humiliated and made miserable almost every day. Mmmm.

Ooops! Don’t forget about consent, girls! When you’re finishing, ask him if he agrees he deserved it. It’s important.

Well, if you put it like that…

Office life… it can be so stressful, can’t it?

Sadly, though, the inside looks pretty grotty, too. Unless you like gloomy dungeons walled with unfinished concrete and festooned with rusting chains.
Oh do you? Oh, right. You’re in for a treat, then.

Sub-shaming

It’s a strangely self-defeating exercise, because we love it.

That’s kind of her. Not exactly a sympathy fuck… more of a pitiful wank. But the principle’s the same.

Kinda scary. Yeah.

I hold that truth to be self-evident.

OK, now that would be humiliating. And not in a good way. Well…maybe a little bit good…mmmm.

It’s uncanny. It’s almost as if she knows me. Do you think I should go and hang around her house in Beverly Hills… see if fate somehow brings us together?

The ecstasy and the agony

But by ‘ecstasy’ I mean extremes of pleasure, OK? This blog does not do drugs. Nothing here but good wholesome stuff like torture, castration, toilet slavery and forced bisexual blowjobs.

And not all at the same time, obviously. That would be ridiculous.

Oh dear. Still, it’s only 24 hours, isn’t it? How bad could it be?

Is there anyone out there (apart from weird vanilla or male-dom types) who does not recognise Mistress Sidonia von Bork? Wonderful name, wonderful lady.

Realism in session – it can be over-rated, you know.

Nice tits. Nice cattle prod. Can’t have one without the other.

He should go down on her knees to her. Like he did when he proposed. Or whenever he needs to use the bank card.

Yeah…well, that’s actually true.

Yes, I’ve experienced pain in my marriage

Fairly regularly, actually. Usually on Tuesday and Friday evenings.

Gives you a warm glow inside, knowing she’s in charge, doesn’t it? And outside too – obviously.

I’m sure he can take it. Being chained up helps a lot, for a start.

Women, eh! Never satisfied.

I think they are antennae. I find it’s the antennae that usually get detached. Unless she insists that I chew of course – then it just all goes everywhere. Don’t you agree?

Lucky, lucky us.

I yam what I yam

… and I thought what I yam was a beta male, but apparently not. It turns out, I am an omega male:

Omega animals are subordinate to all others in the community, and are expected by others in the group to remain submissive to everyone. Omega animals may also be used as communal scapegoats or outlets for frustration, or given the lowest priority when distributing food.

Ah, let me be her outlet for frustration…

Yes, Ma’am.

Not a beta – you see?

Actually, good rough sander will have much the same effect – and it would be a lot cheaper. Fun, too.

I’m sure she’ll think of something.

There’s always a bit left over.

You captured my heart, and now that I’m no longer free

…make love to me (in stereo!).

So hard to choose…

That’s a relief. I was feeling a bit unmotivated there, for a moment. But I expect the whip will sort that out.

How humiliating it is… not to have enough of your own money to buy condoms for your wife’s date! Sigh. Better fetch the purse.

Nothing to worry about at all. I’m sure they handle all sorts of different online payments.

Grr, She had a headache last month, too. I’m beginning to think she might be faking it.

Some of them want to abuse you

…and the rest don’t really, but they’ll probably have a go if there’s nothing else to do.

Anyway, you need to go to bed early so you can get up in time to do all your chores, right?

If you survive the mixing process, you’ll be encased in concrete forever. What’s not to like?

Just routine. Nothing to worry about.

Actually, I had a similar experience a year or so ago. My doctor put me on a course of pain-killers, just before I was due to visit my Significant Other. A bit pointless, really.

It’s partly that he doesn’t see new people very often, of course.

The four stages

It is a well known fact that the development of any skill passes through four stages. Let me illustrate:

1. Unconscious incompetence

The individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognize the deficit.

They may deny the usefulness of the skill.

The individual must recognise their own incompetence, and the value of the new skill, before moving on to the next stage.

The length of time an individual spends in this stage depends on the strength of the stimulus to learn.

2. Conscious incompetence

Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, he or she does recognize the deficit…

…as well as the value of a new skill in addressing the deficit

The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage.

… and then apparently there’s another two stages, but I have never got beyond conscious incompetence. I’m really good at that, as regular readers of the blog will know.

Category: femdom