corsets – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Lady’s man

I certainly am… well, a lady’s boy, anyway.

There’s nothing like standing in the corner with a well-smacked bottom on display to give you a sense of perspective.

Her fees are reasonable. She isn’t, I’m glad to say.

I tried calling the NHS helpline once, because I thought it would be a turn-on to ask a nurse all sorts of questions about the safety of enemas and how to deal with unwanted erections. The nurse I ended up speaking to was very sympathetic and started taking me through all of the details – but I must somehow have let on that I was just phoning for the sexual turn-on, so it got a bit embarassing after that. Anyway, he was very nice and we’ve agreed to meet up some time after lockdown ends, so that ended well.

Sometimes a session starts badly, but I find when that happens the best thing to do is put it behind me and try to enjoy myself, anyway.

Wearing a shock collar can give you a sense of perspective too… along with a lot of very unpleasant electric shocks, obviously.

Fair maidens, faint hearts

I find it’s always easier to tell the truth. The aftermath is sometimes extremely difficult.

I have my pride. At least, I did. Hang on…it’s got to be here somewhere.

By a curious coincidence, I got the cattle prod for ‘last night’ the very second day of my marriage.

I get quite excited about this sort of thing.

I heard Jason was having an operation so I sent flowers and my best wishes for a full recovery. Well, you never know, he might.

Speaking with authority

Once when I was in hospital I tried out the ‘just a little prick with a needle’ joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said “But I’m the one with the needle.” I did feel a fool.

BDSM’s odd like that. Subs are actually much more interested in exactly how the implement feels than the dommes. My SO seems to grab any old thing at random sometimes when she wants to hit me – I actually feel that shows a lack of respect, which is lovely, obviously.

Starting with this.

Makes it all worthwhile.

It’s rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing.

* “I know you are, but what are you going to do with it?”.

Unmancipation

When I first started dating my SO, I’d often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh… two, three…maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.

It’s always embarassing when men have to go to what’s basically a girls’ night out, isn’t it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike. Women are just better at social events… it’s because they’ve got more empathy.

Life will be a lot simpler. You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision. Don’t pressure her, OK?

I’m down on my hands and knees. Point me to the broken glass.

Domme-splaining

And don’t worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she’s fine with that too.

You don’t want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you? No? Didn’t think so. Up you get, then. Don’t forget to scream on the way down.

I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly. So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially ‘starts’ 23 hours before I actually arrive. I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it’s a good deal really.

So many new things to understand in this relationship. The dictionary’s a big help. So’s the shock collar, of course.

What a lovely spanking bench. Don’t you think?

Warning

There’s now conclusive evidence of the harmful effects of looking at porn. These can vary from simple cases of sore knees and light bruising across the face to severe lacerations of the buttocks and intense pain in the genital region. You have been warned…

…but I expect you’re too stupid to do anything about it. I certainly am. On with the show.

She’s going to be brave for both of you, OK?

Why would I want a new pair?

Hmmm.. but is he really sorry?

His n hers.

Convenient too. There’s always a queue for the ladies’ loo at a wedding.