castration – Contemplating the divine

On sunny beaches (12)

How long is Servitor going to remain on holiday, you might ask? You’re asking the wrong person, I’m afraid – I don’t make those decisions and she’s not here.

Foolish things, done with enthusiasm

Many women are reluctant to try a bit of kink, but if you make clear they really get to hurt a man, a surprising number are prepared to give it a go.

Consent’s really important in BDSM. Far too important to be left to males to decide.

Always good in any relationship to have room for improvement, but doubly so in one based on D/S.

Audiences at snip-flicks can be quite intimidating. I remember as a teenager walking past the back door of our local cinema just when the crowd who’d been watching *Rebecca’s Revenge* (remember? A classic of the genre!) spilled out onto the streets. Suddenly swept up in crowd of over-excited young women all laughing and shouting about castration, I was lucky to escape with my dignity.

Treasure has some wicked ideas, but don’t worry: no one who anyone cares about will get hurt.

Of course, even in some forms of traditional sex work, it’s the woman who’s really in charge: mine certainly is, when she has me earning a bit of extra household cash in our local gay bar.

You can’t handle the truth

So here’s some made-up nonsense instead. More implausible accounts from the bleeding edge of World War M. Because no woman is truly free until all men are enslaved.

To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.

Valerie Solanas said that, bless her little cotton socks.

The male gaze is often directed inappropriately, such as when men attempt to peek away from the wall during corner time. Fortunately, women know of techniques to help us learn not to look where we mustn’t.

They might even try a little roleplay later on.

In Valerie Solanas’s utopia, the testicles themselves would be illegal contraband and confiscated at the border.

In my experience, women really hate it when you lose consciousness during a heavy pain session. And if you think about it, it’s a very selfish thing to do: putting your own needs ahead of hers.

Some men spend their whole lives chasing after beautiful women.

Soon after my marriage I learnt to stop worrying about being whipped and instead learned to worry about whether I was doing everything I could to please my SO. You might see it as a mere semantic distinction, as the two are so closely linked, but I found it helped.

Incidentally, you might be interested to learn that I have discovered the man who holds the best job in the world. Doesn’t look very happy about it, does he? Perhaps he’ll resign and they’ll advertise for a replacement… we can but dream.

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me

More captions departing from this unduly real world we are unfortunate enough to live in.

As the tale is all about seven short-arse males doing hard labour in a mine to provide diamonds for a beautiful princess twice their size, it’s surprising there aren’t more femdom interpretations of Snow White. But there’s this.

They wanted her to get her tits out for the lads, apparently, so once again the moral is don’t wish for it if you don’t want it.

You’re helping raise a new generation of pretty, flitting fairies.

Thank goodness the brave lads of the village have their loyal womenfolk standing right behind them.

Of course, this is merely fantasy – the male actors in Ella Enchanted didn’t really have to wear chastity belts. That only came later in Ms Hathaway’s career, when she was famous enough to insist on some on-set conditions in her studio contracts.

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe

… because they’re not true. (Yet) more science fiction, anyway, I did warn you I had a lot of it.

Formidable femmes

Maybe she’s planning to put a little post-it note on the fridge or something.

They say that after a while you go numb and can’t feel the pain any more. But then she’s planning to winch you out and warm you up.

I suppose it’s a rather half-hearted approach to consent, but then their victim is a rather half-hearted approach to a human being.

Subs prefer blondes who don’t care what their subs prefer.

Oh, the poor thing. I hope she’s not badly hurt. Reminds me of the time I scuffed the toes of my SO’s new Dr Maarten boots quite badly, by bashing them repeatedly with my stomach. She wasn’t happy about it, I can tell you.

Women just aren’t as obsessive about these things as we men.

My lady’s displeasure

Seems a bit unfair, the place will be practically drenched with cum for you to clean up when you emerge from the cupboard tomorrow morning, after all.

She can find beauty in ugly things – a rare gift.

She likes things to be consistent: if you’re going to be in pain, it somehow spoils it if there’s a part of you that’s not uncomfortable.

It’s good to be spontaneous, but not too spontaneous.

There’s more kinds of knowledge than mere book-learning.

Men don’t understand much about women’s castration fantasies – which is probably just as well, or they’d be terrified the whole time.

Oh, and an extra captioned image, easy enough to provide as I didn’t have to write it: it is not one of mine. I’ll confess I don’t like many of the femdom captions I see on the Internet and it is very rare indeed that I see one and think ‘I wish I’d done that!’. But this one – from here, although I don’t know if that’s the origin – is certainly one of those few.