To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.

Valerie Solanas said that, bless her little cotton socks.

The male gaze is often directed inappropriately, such as when men attempt to peek away from the wall during corner time. Fortunately, women know of techniques to help us learn not to look where we mustn’t.
They might even try a little roleplay later on.
In Valerie Solanas’s utopia, the testicles themselves would be illegal contraband and confiscated at the border.
In my experience, women really hate it when you lose consciousness during a heavy pain session. And if you think about it, it’s a very selfish thing to do: putting your own needs ahead of hers.
Some men spend their whole lives chasing after beautiful women.
Soon after my marriage I learnt to stop worrying about being whipped and instead learned to worry about whether I was doing everything I could to please my SO. You might see it as a mere semantic distinction, as the two are so closely linked, but I found it helped.

Incidentally, you might be interested to learn that I have discovered the man who holds the best job in the world. Doesn’t look very happy about it, does he? Perhaps he’ll resign and they’ll advertise for a replacement… we can but dream.

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me

More captions departing from this unduly real world we are unfortunate enough to live in.

As the tale is all about seven short-arse males doing hard labour in a mine to provide diamonds for a beautiful princess twice their size, it’s surprising there aren’t more femdom interpretations of Snow White. But there’s this.
They wanted her to get her tits out for the lads, apparently, so once again the moral is don’t wish for it if you don’t want it.
Cometh the hour, cometh the castratrix.
You’re helping raise a new generation of pretty, flitting fairies.
Thank goodness the brave lads of the village have their loyal womenfolk standing right behind them.
Of course, this is merely fantasy – the male actors in Ella Enchanted didn’t really have to wear chastity belts. That only came later in Ms Hathaway’s career, when she was famous enough to insist on some on-set conditions in her studio contracts.

Formidable femmes

Maybe she’s planning to put a little post-it note on the fridge or something.
They say that after a while you go numb and can’t feel the pain any more. But then she’s planning to winch you out and warm you up.
I suppose it’s a rather half-hearted approach to consent, but then their victim is a rather half-hearted approach to a human being.
Subs prefer blondes who don’t care what their subs prefer.
Oh, the poor thing. I hope she’s not badly hurt. Reminds me of the time I scuffed the toes of my SO’s new Dr Maarten boots quite badly, by bashing them repeatedly with my stomach. She wasn’t happy about it, I can tell you.
Women just aren’t as obsessive about these things as we men.

My lady’s displeasure

Seems a bit unfair, the place will be practically drenched with cum for you to clean up when you emerge from the cupboard tomorrow morning, after all.
She can find beauty in ugly things – a rare gift.
She likes things to be consistent: if you’re going to be in pain, it somehow spoils it if there’s a part of you that’s not uncomfortable.
It’s good to be spontaneous, but not too spontaneous.
There’s more kinds of knowledge than mere book-learning.
Men don’t understand much about women’s castration fantasies – which is probably just as well, or they’d be terrified the whole time.

Oh, and an extra captioned image, easy enough to provide as I didn’t have to write it: it is not one of mine. I’ll confess I don’t like many of the femdom captions I see on the Internet and it is very rare indeed that I see one and think ‘I wish I’d done that!’. But this one – from here, although I don’t know if that’s the origin – is certainly one of those few.

Baby watch her eyes, you better watch her eyes

Anything you feel swelling up underneath you when you’re being spanked over Dave’s lap should be kept strictly as a secret between you and him, OK? It’s a guy thing: no need for her to know.
Fashion photographers can be so annoying. Just ask the ladies in this sweet little scene..
I mean, she’d never actually do it, right? You know that, right? ‘Course you do. So stop dithering and let her strap you down.
And your orgasms are even specialer, being so rare.
First goddess in my life, maybe…. I mean, I liked The Damned too, and The Undertones but… Ah, to be looked at, the way she looks at Kermit.

And here’s Captain Sensible performing ‘Wot’ on French TV, because pourquoi pas?

Men think of castration in such all-or-nothing terms, that’s the problem.

Every man with a vote was considered a foe to woman suffrage

So take away his vote and things should go just swimmingly. It’s a politics special.

And look, what can I say… I realise not every male pines for a future in which male ‘freedoms’ are abolished and men’s ‘rights’ and ‘dignity’ are crushed under a merciless steel-toed boot of righteous female fury. I get that, truly I do. Whippings, enforced chastity for those permitted to keep their genitals, electric shock collars… it’s not an easy life for males in the female supremacist utopia, I’ll admit. But can you look at how the world is run today – just look at a random headline, almost any day, quite frankly – and tell me, hand on your heart, that it wouldn’t be better like that? Hmm? Really?

Her weapons were her crystal eyes

Making every man mad.*

She’s right (obviously): pleading and crying in the hope of mercy is a complete waste of time.
There are some sick people out there… even reading this blog. It’s a creepy thought.
Even Mr Snuggly Bear was new once and remembers how hard that can be. But now he’s one of her favourites, so there’s always hope.
Don’t worry: it all turned out OK. The clinic were very understanding about it and managed to squeeze an extra op into their schedule.
Don’t worry, you’ll still be useful whatever position you end up in. A box is a box and she’s got a lovely tablecloth to go on top.
Just let her take the lead. And keep it.

* Fun fact! A later replacement member of Bananarama was openly into kink. Mistress Sidonia (Servitor kneels, forehead to the floor) has the story. The three goddesses in the video I linked above weren’t, so they probably just did their queening, pegging and mocking behind closed doors.

PS – Just to note again, if anyone missed my note on Tuesday’s post: that all updates to this site for 6 – 13 May, including all comments, alas, were lost following a computer glitch. You might think – I certainly thought – that this must have been my fault, because of technical incompetence and I should be punished. You’re not entirely wrong (even if you are male) as I am technically incompetent and should be punished, but this one was due to my hosting service, as I’ve just discovered now they’ve sent an apologetic email about the (system-wide) crash. I hope the males responsible are dealt with appropriately. Nonetheless, I apologise to people whose comments were lost.

But only if she says you can

Consent is so important in femdom, don’t you agree? So many men in the scene just don’t get that: but the way I see it, if you’re down on your knees and you want to get up but she doesn’t give her explicit consent, then that’s an absolute no-no. No ifs, no buts, no pleading. So what if your knees are hurting? Women have a right to decide what to do with their own males and that’s that.

Keep calm. It’s probably just one of those deals in which they remain attached to you but they’re ‘technically’ hers, you know? To kick and crush whenever she likes. Anyway, you might win. The King’s got to be the most powerful piece, right? And you’ve still got that.
If you think about it, it’s actually quite arrogant for a human male to think he deserves better treatment than a ‘real’ dog. I mean, dogs are quite intelligent, so if anything it should be the other way around.
Actually, one of the guys with a beard just behind her is wearing women’s slacks* under his shorts, so it’s not just you.
Just another stunningly beautiful woman (Nata Lee), lounging around in red lingerie until she gets cross and decides it’s time to put you over her lap and smack your bottom until you cry. Contemplating the Divine… because ‘real life’ is over-rated.
Of course the normal guys don’t pay anything like as much for making the mess as you have to to clean it up. But then if life was fair I guess we wouldn’t have femdom.
Anya’s a lot more relaxed and open about her AFM past then many A-listers. No names but if you happen to own a copy of April 2013, there’s a certain Hollywood megastar actress who’d pay a lot to get hold of it and remove it, permanently… or would pay someone else a lot to do the same to you.

I’m not a crossdresser (not by choice, anyway) but this actress’s understanding but ever so slightly amused expression is just perfect, don’t you think?