Category: caption

But you won’t cry, I know

Angry tears are too dear.

She likes it when you say please and thank you, but you need to get used to saying them quickly, because once she starts using alternating hands, it gets pretty fast.
Men need to take responsibility for their own behaviour. His body, his fault.
They say when you’re in a hole it’s best to stop digging… although my experience has always been that if I’m digging a hole I’d better damn well keep digging as fast as I can, until she tells me to stop.
Don’t get your hopes up, she rarely keeps the boys she collects when she’s out.
And if she does finally snap and put you on the leash, for goodness’ sake don’t make her drag you along. It’s not fair to expect her to do all the work in the relationship.
She doesn’t realise what a career boost a photo feature in AFM can provide. Take a look at some of the shots from the magazine I’ve featured here – A-listers, almost all of them.*

* Fans of AFM – yes, there are some, you’re not the weirdest reader of this blog, you know, not by a long chalk – can look forward to a great start to 2025. No spoilers, though.

It’s your own fault, darling.

So stop making excuses.

It must be terrible for Raoul, thinking about and wanting sex all the time and but having sometimes to spend entire days without it. No wonder he lashes out at you, the poor frustrated guy.
The smell can get pretty bad but it never reaches the guards’ quarters, so no one suffers who isn’t supposed to.
Don’t worry, they haven’t been tested on animals; the pharmaceutical company that makes them has a cruelty-free policy.
Many men who embark on a serious chastity relationship end up being quite surprised at how infrequently they really need an orgasm. I haven’t needed one for years now, apparently.
Guys: you shouldn’t be shy about telling your date what you like to do. I’m sure most women would vastly prefer to watch you sweatily wank on their boots than actually letting you touch them.
You might have safety concerns about such a woman being in a male institution – but don’t. Any male prisoners with whom she has to share a cell will be physically restrained before the door is slammed shut leaving her alone with them for the night, so she should be safe enough. Anyway, she seems cheerful enough at the prospect of it, the brave young thing.

Wicked, flagitious, tyrannical acts

If you’re worried about whether you’ll be able to please her sexually – don’t be. You have plenty of pain receptors and a full set of vocal chords, and that’s all you’ll need.
Obviously, I visit sex workers, although I have to confess I’ve never really understood why the ladies I visit call themselves by that title.
Looks to me like they’re considering him quite seriously already. I think he’s got a good chance of getting through to the next stage: in-depth assessment.
She’s just looking for the right man. I’m sure when she does find him, she’ll keep him.
I expect he’ll be taking those opportunities; it would be so ungrateful not to.

Spare the rod and spoil the marriage

Don’t worry: these ladies won’t.

Some wives are actually quite liberal in extending ‘permission to ask’ – one of my SO’s friends lets her boys beg whenever they like, says she rather enjoys it.
Especially when you’re wearing the pink one.
Of course, if you don’t enjoy it, you can always just wait until she orders you to argue or complain, then you can tell her all about how you feel.
For non-British readers; if a domme ever accuses you of ‘taking the piss’, she’s not referring to your impressive swallowing technique during toilet-play, she’s probably quite cross with you (‘pissed-off’ even).
If she holds her hand in the right place, they won’t see the leash, either.
One of my SO’s former girlfriends was an ears, nose and throat specialist. It was quite a relief when I discovered she specialised in removing tonsils, not ‘tonsils’.

… and as an extra, here’s a sweet little femdom video if you like that sort of thing.

Petrology

Special post today, featuring a lady you’re going to see a lot more of on this blog in – what? No, I don’t mean you’re literally going to see more of her, you nasty little pervert, I mean you are going to see the same bits of her more frequently. OK? I mean what sort of blog do you think this is? – sorry, where was I? Yes: this is Petra and you’re going to see her freqently here because there are tonnes of pictures of her out there and I think every single one of them looks very lovely indeed, so I have captioned at least half a tonne of them myself.

She is actually the star of a foot fetish site, as the logos in the images imply, and obviously if you really like this sort of thing I would encourage you to take out a subscription and have a look.

She is even into feet herself, as the bio at the front of the site explains, and honestly if you can’t believe what you read on a porn site in this day and age, then what are you going to believe, hmm?

For me, although I’m sure her feet are lovely – and very feety – for me, it is more her amused, sweet mocking expression that drives me absolutely wild.

So almost all of the ‘petrology’ captions are also about being driven absolutely wild, in that they suppose she is the keyholder in some insanely over-complicated and strict commercial chastity / findomme arrangement. Teasing, denial… rinse and repeat. With an Italian accent, obviously.

The only way is her way

Like ordinary wedding anniversaries, divorce-iversaries have materials associated with them. Appropriately enough, given his situation, this one is concrete – and the next is steel.
Oh yes… sweaty foot-dirt. That must taste just… awful.
Some men behave as if they’re losing their manhood when they go bald, which is just silly. Losing your manhood feels quite different.

Note to non-British readers. ‘Slaphead’ is a word for a bald person that is normally considered derogatory and insulting. However, since almost all bald people are male, there is no reason not to use it freely.

Actually, one of my wife’s regular bulls is vegan. Says it helps him with strength and stamina and he certainly seems to have a lot of both.
It’s a once in a lifetime experience, I’ve heard.
I think if Rachel were my teacher I’d get all the sums wrong, all the time. Goodness, she’d be cross.

Note to non-British readers: Goddess.

The will to power

This particular set of vows contains penalty clauses.
It’s nice to be special, isn’t it?
I think she’s coping very well.

The wonderful Lady Sophia Black. I don’t know what she’s doing now she’s retired from professional domination, but I’ll bet she’s amazingly good at that, too.

Men who aren’t meek and obedient have something wrong with their brains. Fortunately, it’s fixable.
Tastes much the same, if I’m honest.
Well, that’s my plan for the session sorted out!

Now, please, darling

She’s right, of course.
Sometimes Lisa quite likes dealing with the easier cases who break almost immediately, for a change: it gives her a chance to explore some techniques without any pressure. Plus, she enjoys the terrified pleading and screaming.
They’re thinking of making it a compulsory module, so most nurses will have had at least some experience of castrating males. Although they never had any lack of volunteers when it was optional.
Oh, I don’t know. One of my SO’s boyfriends gave me a contempt fuck one day and it was quite memorable.
Or breathe in to hang around abit longer – up to you. She’d rather get on with it, but just this once I think she might let you choose.
It’s obviously been bothering her a lot, poor thing.

Submission guidelines

Oh well, at least you have a part to play in the sex game, right?
I don’t want to be unduly pessimistic, but I’m not sure he’s going to do well in this round.
Maybe they’ll get back together properly… never say never, right? Or ‘no Mistress’, for that matter.
Mmm… may-be? A bit.
As long as there’s a net overall gain, I don’t see how anyone could reasonably object.
Coffee? Hypotheticals? I do wish she’d speak clearly. Like her sister, who’s always going on about how plants are much healthier if they’re pruned back. I mean, she doesn’t even have a garden. Is this another Mars/Venus thing?
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