caption – Page 38 – Contemplating the divine

Unequal sex

It’s the best sort…

I read somewhere that the medical advice on stress has changed. It used to be seen as something for middle aged and older men to avoid, but apparently recent research has shown that repeated stress and anxiety can make men better at all sorts of useful things, that more than compensate for any loss of life expectancy.

I admire Sylvia’s idealism, but isn’t it about time we all just admitted that men are just too stupid for most modern jobs? I mean, nothing personal guys, but we all know it’s true, right? They’re even inventing artificial intelligence now, before the males of the species have managed the natural kind, so really I don’t see the point in trying to catch up. There are lots of things men are better at than women – mostly involving manual drudgery – as long as they’re firmly supervised, so isn’t that enough? Why just set yourself up to fail?

Always difficult, playing with amateurs. Oh well, how bad can it be?

He also consented to several amendments to that agreement, after a few days of marriage. Funny how there’s always a few things you didn’t think of, isn’t it?

…and two extras, why not, both inspired by a recent post by the femdom blogger-in-chief, Paltego on Femdom Resource.

Memories, reposted for technical reasons*

Yes, it’s time for more of those highly inaccurate (and entirely made-up) reminiscences by the very first contingent of Ladies from the Other World Kingdom. Blatant homage or affectionate rip-off? Or should that be the other way around? You decide. Or don’t, if you’d rather not.

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* Apologies – not a new post. For a long time I have been getting 4-5 obviously automated and spammy comments per day, all of them on this post which was published on June 15th. I don’t want to restrict commenting, so I have been deleting them manually. But it’s getting worse and today I got about 30. All on the one post… which is pretty f***ing stupid even for an algorithm.

Some of the generic messages are actually quite funny, given the content of the blog and the post below especially. e.g. “My co-workers think I’m wasting too much time reading this blog, but it gives me so much useful information for my life.” I’d certainly like to have seen the spammer who designed the algorithm spend some time in the OWK

Animate objects

…who are also subjects.

Ooo… ‘the wrong sort of pain’. Never pleasant. My SO says the way to handle it is to accept there are no wrong sorts of pain, and I can’t argue with that.

Notice how she said ‘please’? See, you can be treated like dirt and still receive a modicum of respect. She says ‘Thank you, darling’ occasionally too, although that usually means ‘Shut up.’, particularly when said in public.

Actually, sleep scientists say that an early bedtime can be extremely beneficial for health. Oh yes, and I read somewhere as well that *spanking* scientists say… now where was that article?

It’s actually only marginally less comfortable than an economy seat on most airlines and arguably (if you’re of the sex permitted to argue) more so on Ryanair.

It’s odd, but when you’ve been locked in chastity for a month, it’s hard for a woman to do anything that *isn’t* breath-takingly erotic. Including refusing to unlock you, ironically enough.

Newcomers welcome

Newcomers are particularly welcome to this blog, of course, since ‘readers’ unfamiliar with my style may take a while to notice that I basically just re-hash the same old tropes over and over again. But more importantly, I want to help newcomers to the world of femdom to get over any anxieties they might have, especially before that nerve-wracking first contact with a pro-domme to actually try out all those grubby little fantasies in reality.

So, as a service to such newbies, I have in the past posted several items of advice to a novice sub. That series later also included a few respectful items of advice humbly proferred to any to ladies thinking of embarking on the noble dominatrix profession, too.

I hope that by passing on my expertise to a new generation, they can avoid the mistakes I made and instead make entirely new ones.

So, in that spirit, here is more of the same. Re-hashing tired old tropes, like I said.

Hope you enjoyed that. Any prospective subs actually trying the approaches recommended above will not be missed from the human gene pool, so think of it as evolution in action. Not that many of you were likely ever to be allowed to place your nasty, sticky genes anywhere they might actually lead to a new human being forming anyway. The real advice to a novice sub is to visit that domme and the only real mistake Servitor made was leaving that so late.

In other news, those of you paying very close attention to some minor themes on this blog (and I know some of you do that, to my repeated surprise) might like to note that Kitten has gone viral. Bonus Kitten image below in celebration and homage.

Thirty years of hurt (but this time with Lionesses)

So, after all these years of being told that football’s just a silly game in which a bunch of moronic boys chase a ball around in a field and surely I’m not asking to be allowed to put the ironing off just to watch that nonsense, apparently it’s a remarkable display of female skill, grace and power. Who knew? Well, my SO did, obviously, and now I do because she’s told me and that’s that.

Personally I’m not so much interested in the football itself as ~~in the players’ muddy boots and sweaty sock~~s in the fact that we are now officially all allowed to cheer ourselves silly(er) for a team called ‘The Lionesses’. That I do like, rather a lot.

It’s coming home. Unless the Lionesses lose on Sunday, obviously, in which case it’s going somewhere else. [UPDATE: They did. It is.]

Anyway, back to the depressing porn.

He did start by getting down on one knee, but it wasn’t enough.

I find the most effective humiliation scenes are the unexpected ones – for instance, when you think you’re just going on a vanilla date, but the woman intuitively senses that you’re into humiliation, so mocks and belittles you in front of your friends, then slaps you and walks off laughing, leaving you to pay the bill. Yeah, that’s a good one. How do they know?

She has some lederhosen for you, seeing as you’ve expressed such an interest in leather.

See how Mistress Vixen is keeping a straight back, there? That’s very important: it’s so easy to develop back problems in later life if you don’t sit right. Very sensible.

I have posted this before, but ‘too few’ is always the number of times I have done that, so here’s the lovely Mistress Vixen playing the piano.

Yeah, you can relax now the ceremony’s over and just enjoy the honeymoon – and the rest of your life.

Thrashing out an agreement

Many people think that any deals thrashed out in the context of a long-term femdom relationship will inherently be unfair to the male, but it’s just not true. Every time my SO and I have come to an agreement about something, the deal has always involved my getting something I value: an imminent prospect of the cessation of pain, for example. That’s usually a lot more important to me than whatever it is I have to give up in exchange. So it’s a win-win, really.

It has to make both of them laugh, mind. It would be easy enough just to set Mistress Eleise off, as she loves a good ‘dumb blonde’ joke and will burst out in fits of giggles if she hears a new one. Try it if (as I have been) you are ever privileged enough to session with her – it can lighten the mood, especially if you have requested a heavy session. The ‘dumber’ the blonde character the better, take it from me: your experience will be memorable.

The wonderful, magnificient Eleise de Lacy, of course, and the delightful Miss Woods who has not had to suffer the unpleasantness of Servitor’s proximity.

Love, honour and obey as long as you both shall live.

I’m told a good way to teach males to curtsey deeply is to suspend a heavy weight on a short chain from their testicles. Ducking far enough down relieves the pain, briefly, you see. Another good way is to inflict unbearable pain on them until they get it right. Or why not try both?

Very true. She got only four out of twenty on her last test, so I’m afraid he’s really going to have to suffer.

Underwater cunnilingus can be quite hazardous to the male health even with ladies who don’t actually get off on drowning you, unless either they can reach orgasm really quickly or the male has oxygenated very thoroughly. Proceed with caution and if in doubt: try it first with someone who really doesn’t matter.

…and an extra one with an absurdly long caption, why not:

I’m not sure Mrs Hudson is going to be too happy about that. Especially as Holmes still has 150 of his 500 punishment lines to write: “It was thoroughly disrespectful of me to frown when Mrs Hudson smashed my violin, giving us all a much-needed respite from my tuneless playing.”

And eating it too

A special ‘Pervworld’ post – that’s an occasional series in which I put up captioned images that fall well below the already laughably low bar for plausibility that this blog applies, then try to justify it as being in some way knowing and ironic. See what I did there? It’s like when TV shows get to objectify women, but it’s OK because they’re really just subverting the genre.

And this intro itself is ironically mocking my own ironic use of cheesy fetish tropes to, to… OK maybe I’m over-thinking things. Not a common problem among males like myself, I’ll admit. Hmm? What’s that you say? ‘Shut up and get the fuck on with it, Servitor you annoying little prick’? Sure, happy to.

And a ‘special’. When I saw the site name on these images, I just felt that they had to feature in Pervworld. Get ready to salute the brave girls of the Special Feet Force…