Category: caption

Simply irresistible

Resistance is futile.

You may well find that your opinion is not firmly held, while you’re firmly held and hearing hers.
I’m naturally suited to SPH too. Just lucky that way, I guess.
’tis. But sometimes its better to receive than to give. How to decide? Fortunately, I never have to, so that’s not a dilemma I face.
Poor thing. Women sometimes have to work so hard – my SO, bless her, is absolutely tireless and relentless in how hard she works herself to make sure I’m performing at my absolute best. I’m very grateful.
Of course, no subbie is going to love a movie as much as one his goddess appears in.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.
She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.
Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.
Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.
It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.
Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”
It is – brutally – simple.
They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.
If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.
Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.
It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. John Cleese, Clockwise.

Minds immeasurably superior to ours

And slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us. A beautiful but somehow… disturbing sight. *

More science fiction.

(More in this series here and here)

* Yes, yes, I know I’ve quoted War of the Worlds before in the title of one of these. But not the Jeff Wayne version, right? Wee-oo, wye-oh, we-UHHH!

His purpose in life

Yeah, she’s very generous with her slaves’ time. Well, there’s plenty and it’s not like she needs or wants it all.
Wow – it doesn’t get better for a submissive than that! Well… maybe just a little better.
I once told a domme in session I was too cold and she promised to warm me up with her paddle, but after that I was still cold – just in pain, too. Of course, I didn’t tell her, after she’d been so thoughtful.
They’ll expect a tip of course.
The ‘sadistic dentist’ trope is so annoying to the profession. A survey found that only 42% of female dentists gained sexual pleasure from inflicting intense pain, which is actually slightly below the percentage in the general female population. And of those, no more than a third said they fantasised about having a man helpless in their chair and drilling for fun. So the next time you’re visitng for a routine check-up just try to remember that and relax, OK?
Kitten wouldn’t mind giving a pay piggie like you a blow job but she’s read up on it and apparently that’s only for sugar daddies and she does so want to do this right.

Malign neglect

She’s not one of these ladies who objects to your having an opinion that’s different from hers – in fact, you can have any opinions you like, as far as she’s concerned.
Madame Samantha’s technique with a cordkscrew is legendary.
Oh dear, how embarassing.
Don’t worry: it’s a purely symbolic sacrifice the Goddess will demand of you. You won’t be deprived of anything important.
Which is fine, but did Trevor hear his wife call out for him to “just tidy this lot up, will you darling?” as she was carried into the bedroom? Better start wriggling.
Nothing ventured nothing win… faint heart never won fair mistress (or an unfair one).

Every man has a wild beast within him

But fortunately these days, more and more women are skilled in trapping and subduing these feral creatures and in the training techniques needed for domestication.

You might get a little embarassed asking the waitress – by kneeling before her with your paws up, panting wordlessly – but it’ll be worth it, you’ll see.
The problem with his company is that it wasn’t really listening enough to the equestrienne community. That won’t be a problem from now on, in fact these two ladies are planning to set up an advisory board to guide all future major – and minor – decisions.
George doesn’t do it for the applause, nor for the money – in fact he’s an unpaid volunteer. No: for George it’s best described as a labour of love and he really doesn’t need any public acknowledgement, not least because in his day job he’s a well-known lawyer.
Don’t push your luck, though. When she’s walked you home, wait patiently to see if she invites you in – and if instead she just unclips your leash and says goodnight, don’t try to change her mind.
What, you thought OWK ladies talk about nothing but whips and slavery?
Perhaps rebooting would help.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to hurt you

…without good reason.

Boundaries are important in a D/S relationship. For example, my SO sets rigid boundaries for what I am allowed to do, think or say and in return, she has agreed never to do anything to me that she doesn’t want to.
Sadly, it’s not anything healthy and natural, from Goddess Nature’s good brown mud. It’s something that some thoughtless boorish littering male discarded, without a thought as to the harm it might do to any poor dumb creature that eats it.
He’ll be brokenhearted if she rejects him, as alas the great majority are rejected. Of course, the successful ones have their hearts broken too, albeit more slowly and painfuly.
I expect she’ll get to the bottom of it.
Let us all pray for more of those three, in this terrible world.
That’s the right sort of apology to make when something offensive and sexist – or just plain thoughtless – has been said: quick, heartfelt and complete. Males who aren’t lucky enough to live in female-led relationships just don’t have the practice to be good at apologising – really, really good, I mean.

Talking down to you

The natural position, for those we look up to.

And actually, if you think about it, the three big hairy leathermen are probably just as scared of you as you are of them, right? Right?
A little light bondage is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the things she can do to you only because she’s put you into a little light bondage that you should fear.
Bit weird, because she always said she thought bald guys look stupid.
I think you might have pushed her boundaries, there.
Nothing personal. Almost all her clients are more important than you.
Don’t pretend to be a free human, not under that gaze.

A man who does not understand the benefit of suffering does not live a clever and true life.

I’ve barely given the matter any thought, to be honest. Too much to do around the house to have time for politics.
Warning: may induce servility. Do not drive or operate heavy equipment without permission after taking this medication.
Trouble is, the spiked chastity tube really needs to be fitted before any excitement emrges, or it’s difficult to get it on (although with sufficient determination she always manages it). So it works best as a precaution.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful – and highly remunerative – relationship. Just as well, as another one could well be ending.
They are prepared to do maternal discipline sessions, as long as it is understood that the maternal care they provide is the sort that results in huge newspaper headlines and public inquiries into the failure of the local social services.
Poor Amy. Girls can be so mean.