cane – Page 13 – Contemplating the divine

Erectile disfunction

I got an email about dealing with erectile disfunction. I know they’re probably just spam, but I like to think the best of people, and I was willing to give it a go. At least it made a change from all those emails I get suggesting various ways of enhancing my penis size (sometimes I wish I’d never given my mother my email address, I really do).

Anyway, it said that lots of men experience periods of erectile disfunction, but if I wrote off describing the circumstances in which I…. err.. failed to rise to the occasion, as it were, world-famous doctors were waiting to advise me.

Well, as you can imagine, I was quite excited, and I wrote back at great length describing how I usually experience quite long periods of erectile disfunction shortly after annoying my Significant Other, for example by failing to iron her blouse properly, or over-cooking the pasta. But that I also find it difficult to achieve an erection when she’s just in a bad mood because she’s busy at work, or its her time of the month, or something like that. The email asked me to describe in detail the longest period of disfunction I’d had, so I sent them Time magazine’s review of the year for 2013.

And they never replied! I mean, can you believe it? I sent email after email, and eventually I just received an automatic response informing me that the server in Nigeria where they were based was blocking my address.

Isn’t the Internet a weird place, eh? Oh well. Here are some more pictures of pretty ladies looking threatening, so we can get sexually aroused by the thought of being punished and humiliated by them. Good wholesome stuff.

Beware of dominatrices with ‘strong views’

Now I believe this is Mistress Annabelle. But if it isn’t, perhaps she or the lady it happens to be could, err, correct me. Please?

I don’t know who he is, I’m afraid. Or if he’s available for sessions.

Domestic bliss.

You think?

This of course is the wonderful and creative (and scary!) Mistress Sidonia, of the English Mansion.

It’s ironic, really, as Alanis Morisette might say.

More from the English Mansion. And I think this is Mistress Jessica Wood.

Dear me, she seems a little fierce. Most young brides wait until after the wedding before giving their husbands their first proper birching. Still, maybe she’ll become more tolerant and forgiving of her husband’s faults when you’re married. Some brides do. Many don’t.

Special pleading

…it’s her favourite sort.

It’s best to take it bit by bit. Remember, Ladies, you can always have another go and take off a few more IQ points if he’s still uppity, but if you hold on too long and you’ve got a drooling idiot who’s too stupid to work the vacuum cleaner, you’ll regret it the next time you want the floor cleaned!

I take it no one in my audience will fail to recognise these as the magnificent Eleise de Lacy and Domina Lisa, here in a Femme Fatale Films production?

Thought not – you bunch of perverts.

I think she’d better watch out. He could turn – just like that.

This is from Planet Femdom. I have loads of stills from this shoot – it’s great, don’t you think? He’s so small! She’s so tall! Brilliant! I’m just going to keep on putting essentially the same caption on all of them. Love it!

And then of course there’s the pie still to eat. Actually, it really wasn’t that great. But you don’t want to tell her that.

Seems fair. And if it doesn’t seem fair to you, I really wouldn’t recommend pointing that out to her.

Best not to get high on your own supply, after all. I personally never masturbate when creating or posting captioned images. Nor do I ever tell lies. And of course, I should be severely punished were I to break either of those rules….

Performance Review

Today’s post is all about human resources and employee evaluation procedures! Oh yes. Pretty exciting huh? Much better than pictures of nekkid ladies*.

In keeping with this blog’s desire to break new ground in femdom porn, I am posting a performance evaluation form from a company I’ve come across (if you’ll pardon the expression).

Anyway, it’s from a company with a very similar name and management style to FemmeFatale Films, but without the same degree of copyright infringement involved in my misusung their logo.

Let’s start with a nice picture, so it’s the divine Goddess Heather rather than my silly old forms that appear in links to the post:

Here’s the performance evaluation form. You might find it hard to read, especially if like me you’re suffering from eyesight degradation due to excessive unauthorised masturbation, but if you click each page, it should come up nice and big and zoomable.

Performance management shouldn’t be a one-way street. It’s not all about the manager telling you what to do, you know! No, no – a good performance review is interactive. You should beg, and plead for forgiveness – preferably while kneeling. Crying is a good way of showing you’ve learnt something from the feedback, too.

…and some more pics of performance evaluation in action:

Hmmm… She’s reading all of your co-workers’ evaluations. Well, the ones whose opinions matter, anyway – the ladies. But you don’t have anything to worry about? Right?

Now this lady looks like she’s going to be giving you a really thorough, intensive feedback session. Learning opportunities ahead!

It’s surprising how effective some quite simple management techniques can be. Just writing out ‘Lazy employees get the cane from Ms de Lacy’ 500 times can lead to a measureable improvement in employee attitude, and of course the caning itself then helps to ‘bed that learning down’.

497… 498… 499…

…and now the employee is actively benefiting from a coaching session. See, all the management books say it’s best for feedback to be immediate, specific and really, really painful.

The three Ladies who featured in this particularly silly post were, from the top, Goddess Heather, Mistress Anna Regent and Mistress Eleise de Lacy, all of whom feature on FemmeFatale Films. As do many others including my Lady, Sophia Black! It’s a wonderful site – well worth taking a look.

But I wouldn’t recommend working there.

* Astute readers of the blog ,might have noticed that it doesn’t actually feature nekkid ladies at all. I know my place.

Appointment

Hi! Yes, I saw your website and I was wondering if I could make an appointment?

Oh no! No, I’m not a lesbian. Not at all. No, it’s for someone else – well, my husband actually.

Yes, that’s right.

Well, I was wondering if I could have him caned.

Yes. Like the governess scenario, on your ‘practices’ page.

No, no he’s never visited ermm…anyone like you before. He’s not into that stuff.  I just want him caned to punish him for gambling. He’s really got a problem with it, and I thought that if –

“Consensual”? What do you mean?

Oh, I see. Yes – he’s consented. We discussed this and he agreed. I told him I’d divorce him if he didn’t, and I have all the money, you see, so –

Yes, that’s right. OK, well I’ll make sure he brings along a note or something that says that.

Hmmm? What do you mean? What’s a ‘safeword’?

Oh. No, I don’t think we want one of those, thanks.

Do you? Oh, I see.

Well how about if I have the safeword? Then you could call me if – No? Oh.

Hmmm… I didn’t think that would be a problem. I mean, your website says you’re merciless, and –

Yes, OK. (Sigh) I understand.

Well I guess if he has to have a safeword, he has to have one. But can you give me a call afterwards and let me know whether he used it? And I’ll make sure he understands that it doesn’t count if he does.

Great.

So, can we say, ermmm, 5pm? Yes, today. Is that a problem? He can come over right now you see, so….

Oh, I see. Yes, you’re probably right. Let’s give him a sleepless night. Tomorrow at 10am, then.

Fine.

OK, well, errr… what else do you need to know?

Oh, I don’t know. Don’t you decide how many?  It’s always six of the best in the old stories, isn’t it? That doesn’t sound like very much, though. What do you think?

How much money was it? Well, that doesn’t really matter. It’s the principle. No, no – it was my money. He took money from our joint bank account, and gambled it. And he’s done it before too.

Yes, I know. Well it’s not a joint bank account any more.

Yes, 24 sounds great. Good hard ones, yes? With a big heavy cane?

Really? A lighter one? Why?  I’m really cross with him, you see, so I wanted to make sure that –

Oh, I see. What, because it’s more whippy, I suppose? Yes, I suppose it would be. OK, well you’re the professional. Whatever you think will hurt most.

OK then, so how much is this going to… Gosh – as much as that?

No, no, that’s fine. I just had no idea how much these things cost. It’ll be well worth it, if it keeps him out of those casinos. Fine.

…although – I was thinking of maybe setting up a regular appointment. Monthly or something. Would there be any kind of discount, if –

Oh. OK. Well, fair enough. OK, that’s fine. He’ll bring the money with him.

I think that’s one wad of cash he won’t dare gamble away!

Fine… listen….errm….I hope you’re not offended, only…well I don’t know anything about this, so I’m just asking…you don’t, erm, have sex with the, erm, clients, do you?

Oh, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to suggest – no, no, of course you don’t. That’s fine, that’s great. I’m sorry I asked.

What’s that? Oh really?

Yes, that sounds like a great idea. And men actually let you… wow. Yes, I’ll certainly have a look at that page. What’s the word again? “Keyholder services”? Right. Got it.

Well, let me think about that. You’re going to give me a call after his appointment anyway, aren’t you? Just to confirm he didn’t use the password.

Sorry, yes, safeword.

OK, well maybe we can talk about keyholding then. I’ll have a look.

Fine. Well, thank you so much. I look forward to hearing all about it.

Sure.

Bye!

Locked in abasement

It’s where you’ll usually find me. If you can be bothered to look.

Chastity femdom picture that kind of thing

She feels your pain. But not quite as much as you do.

Caning femdom picture that kind of thing

It’s supposed to look like that. But then – you’re supposed to be caned, too.

Let’s hope it’s not a third six. It can happen, though. I once rolled a huge pile of dice and almost all of them came up six. I can’t remember exactly how many, but it was at least seven of nine.

You wouldn’t think dommes would be so indecisive, would you?

At least one of these magnificent ladies is the awesome* Madame Sarka, formerly of the OWK and now of herself. If any ‘readers’ can help identify the other lady, I will be grateful.

One art critic described her work as ‘a joyful celebration of life, movement and freedom’, which is rather ironic, when you think about it.

* When I use the word ‘awesome’ it should be understood in its original sense, meaning ‘inspiring awe’, rather than it’s modern sense (pronounced ‘ossom’) meaning ‘quite good’.

Fedmom capyions

Just for all those of you too excited at the thought of all these pictures of dominant ladies to type into Google correctly.

One of the most common search terms for people finding this blog is “Contemplating the devine”. No. Just no. Write it out correctly 500 times, and then go and see Miss Hardcastle, boy!

On we go.

Where else could you be?

Clue: the right answer is “Yes” or, better, “Yes, Mistress”. Don’t worry – you can always borrow the money if you haven’t got it!

Men say the oddest things sometimes. That’s why sensible wives don’t let them speak without permission.

The safeword is your credit card number.

You have laugh really, eh? All those bitter tears of loss… Over someone else’s balls. Funny. Isn’t it?

By the way, I shall be on holiday for about the next two and a half weeks. The blog will continue to update itself twice a week via the magic of ‘scheduler’ *. But if I don’t respond to your comment for a few weeks, it’s not because I am rude, or too lazy to do so**, it’s just because I’m not really here. But I’d like you to keep commenting anyway…

*actually, to tell the truth most of the captions and stories these days are produced using an AI script anyway, which is why they are so repetitive and formulaic. The real ‘Servitor’ died of shame about six months ago. Nobody cared.

** unless of course you are a representative of the ruling gender, in which case my failure to reply is a sign of laziness and rudeness, and I hope you’ll be taking appropriate disciplinary measures to deal with this disgracefully impertinent behaviour.

Tough love

Very tough, sometimes. Ouch.

Captioned images of female domination follow. Obviously.

Not a clothes cupboard, you understand. Don’t get your hopes up, loser.

Yes. Apparently she doesn’t have Madame Sarka’s easygoing and forgiving nature, so do watch it. Still – congratulations! Happiest day of your life, and all that!

Madame Sarka, of course, formerly of OWK.

Oh I always do that sort of thing. Live for today, I say! Who knows where we’ll be tomorrow, eh? Well, I mean, in this case here, obviously. And the day after that, and…

This image from Cruella. There’s a certain bleakness that is unmistakable. Mmmmm.

Oh no. I hate going to her parents’. Especially after a flogging. Oh well… who said life had to be fair?

Gratuitous cruelty – dontcha love it?

Do you really want to hurt me?

Do you really want to make me cry?

Oh…say you do.

“Boots” is a surprisingly popular choice. You can also sell the right to choose, to someone else, then just take pot luck. Quite fun, if you’re feeling adventurous.

The picture is from The British Institution. It’s very British. I love it.

Oh well. It’s been deep-fried. How bad can it be?

Perhaps.

The lady is of course the magnificent Hunteress (also known as Cassie Canes), and the source is indicated on the watermark. Boris appears courtesy of SlavesForMovies Inc.

They also provide a complimentary paddle, by the minibar, and there’s a shackle in the bathroom. It’s those little touches that make the difference between simply staying in a hotel and having an experience there.

Sounds fair.

The caption for the picture above was loosely inspired by this rather excellent video on humiliation. You’ve probably already seen it, but if you haven’t I recommend it. The lady involved is…well, not exactly vanilla, but she’s not femdom particularly either, as this is one of a large series of talks about various sexual practices. But as well as talking about it, from time to time she simply slips in some actual verbal humiliation. For some reason, the fact that she does so in such a matter of fact manner, reading from a script with cheerful interest…even the fact that the scene keeps cutting, particularly when she reaches for an inhaler because she’s got a cold… all that, just adds to the humiliation for me. I think it’s lovely. Anyway, there’s a bit where she says you have to be “punished for being so bad in bed”, and the phrase has stayed with me… and perhaps always will.

School bullying

Scenes from Servitor’s so-called life part 2 (of rather too many).

I guess it won’t surprise regular readers of this blog to learn that I was bullied at school. It was rather traumatic actually, still something I can’t really face properly when I look back upon it. There was this gang of older girls at break-time, and they’d take my lunch money, and beat me up, and pull my trousers down and spank me… and all sorts of frankly quite sexual humiliations. Then one day they refused to take the lunch money any more, so it all had to stop. They never told me why, never told me what had changed. A heartbreaking moment.

SNIFF!

OK, on with the therapy.

You’d think that having biology teacher as their test subject would have helped, but he never made one useful suggestion the whole time. Just cried, and pleaded – that sort of thing. Very disappointing.

They later got married! True story.

Oooo! Do you think they’re planning some sort of surprise for him? What fun!

I used to find these big decisions really difficult, so it’s great not being allowed to take them any more.

A new femdom fetish meme: dommes feeling humiliated. Really, you don’t want to stand too close to one.

The unfairer sex

Oh dear. You don’t think they’ll tell the other girls in the office do you?

Actually, he’s in for a nice surprise in a couple of months. She’s going to come in, first thing in the morning, and remove the chain completely. Only as an April fool’s joke, mind, but for a few hours he’ll be happy.

I’ve never believed in all that star-sign nonsense. Although, my own horoscope last week just said “Nothing but pain and humiliation. Loser”. Do you think there might be something in it, after all?

Poor thing, she looks exhausted. I wonder what she’s been doing?

Be nice. You’ll probably be left to her in your wife’s will.