bride – Page 12 – Contemplating the divine

She is looking good, for beauty we will pay

In fact, some of us have to. Music is mostly unrelated.

Because he knows there are things much worse than a good hard kick to the balls.

The forceful, talented and literary Mistress Miranda, another lady who has had the misfortune to encounter Servitor in the quivering, unimpressive flesh.

It’s all very well to be carried away with love at first sight, but can you build a lasting relationship with a pair of sports shoes, when fashion in sneakers is so fickle?

OK, not the sexiest of topics. But if you don’t know, you can’t imagine. Really: if you’re a pain-slut you should be trying to develop a good set of them.

Punishment fits the crime… tightly and closely.

You replied “I do” and that was the occasion when a safeword might have been advisable instead. Too late now.

Untruth or consequences

So, what did you do in London, my mother asks me as I walk in.

Paid someone to tie me up, beat me and piss on me. I think.

Oh – nothing much, I reply. Just saw some friends.

You smell nice. Have you just washed your hair?

Well yes, actually. Rather thoroughly.

Strange sort of life, we live. Well, I do anyway. But so do you, probably.

Fucking off now, Ma’am.

Many marriages become oppressive and abusive after a while. In this case, about 11 minutes.

I have a very literal mind. It’s quite convenient, because it means I don’t need to take offence every time I’m called a ‘wanker’.

She can annex my southern regions with an illegal plebiscite any time she likes.
Geddit? Bit-o-politics, bit-o-politics

Yurshhh mw’am. Gulp. Bleah!

Distorted view…see-through, baby blue

Oh, Arnold Lane. Pictures are mostly unrelated.

Yes…but…in the church?

Actually, on this blog it’s not amazing. It was practically a certainty.

Lots of men feel embarrassed about how they behave during castration. It’s a shame, because it’s not as if they’ll ever get another chance.

I wonder if it’ll feel different, being whipped as a married man….

Interestingly, the one time they tried vanilla sex, she accused him of being only halfway in when in fact he was fully committed. It’s obviously a thing with her.

Wedlocked

One day you’ll laugh about it. Everyone else does, after all.

Mmm… that does sound humiliating!

Actually, he’s lucky. The bricks are little bit irregular. If it wasn’t for that to engage his interest…well, he’d have had a pretty boring time of it over the years, I can tell you.

She’s trying to make this work – why aren’t you?

Actually, you can make a fuss if you want. It doesn’t really matter.

Resistance is futile

Utterly futile.

I love the way a recent article in the Guardian about science fiction on British TV just *happened* to use an image from this episode featuring whip-wielding dominatrices to exemplify the series Space 1999.

That’s only fair, because you’re not in fact safe.

The awesome Jean Bardot.

Aww… look at that little pout. Isn’t she sweet when she’s cross? Better do what the little woman says, hmmm? Just to humour her, you know. You can assert yourself later, I expect.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a sweaty trainer stamping on a human face — forever*.

I do.

Mistress Francesca Harding, prepared it would seem to help with life-long learning experiences.

*Test time! What is the slightly garbled literary reference? Hmm? Anyone? You! You at the back – hands out of your pockets, boy! – what’s the answer?

Hurtful things

…and he’s good for relieving my… tension!

Oh well. At least you no longer have all that awful responsibility of making sure you’re keeping within the distance. You can be fairly sure it’ll be no more than four feet. Always.

I don’t want to think about this.

Fucking off is something I’ve always been really good at. All the girls would agree.

We used to talk about my cock quite a lot, in the early days of our marriage. But ‘gorgeous’ wasn’t one of the words she used.

Hymn to her

And she will always carry on

It’s been a while since I did this, but I believe that you begin with the examination of conscience. Oh, and penance is involved somewhere down the line. Quite definitely.

Hmm. What makes me think the answer by the end of the evening will turn out to have been ‘both’?

As far as I know, there aren’t any countries that provide constitutional rights to have a tantrum. So you’d better just bend over.

Tantrums featuring a lot today. New husbands are prone to them. Experienced husbands, less so. You’re about to become a lot more experienced, by the look of this! Many happy returns of the day.

And although she seems to be looking away, it’s probably best not to pout when she’s given you this information, if you still have hopes of next month too.

Bridal, reins and whip

There’s a theme today. See if you can guess what it is!

Intersectionality

That’s today’s new word! (And it begins with ‘i’!).

Apparently, ‘intersectionality’ refers to multiple overlapping systems of domination and oppression, and can be best described through a ‘matrix of domination’! Sounds like fun, huh?

I’m going to get me on one of them gender studies courses, right away. I could enter this blog as my thesis… although I expect some narrow-minded academic would probably consider it to be politically incorrect.

Oh well. Let’s have some pictures of sexy young women posing for the camera and holding fetish objects in a threatening way, shall we? Nothing politically incorrect there.

Actually, I think you’re on precisely the right side of the river. Why would you want to go anywhere else?

Actually, it’s simpler than that. He hasn’t left the aircraft – and he won’t.

If you can’t keep twenty-eight simple vows, then what on earth are you doing getting married, hmmm?

Sometimes it’s worth all the screaming and begging for mercy just to have made the point of priciple though, isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Oh, I have no problem with authority at all. Not when it looks like Mistress Eleise de Lacey.

She has a new website, you know. Hooray! It’s because she’s moved to Canada. Nooooooo! Western Canada! Aaaaaargh! Vancouver. I don’t even know where Vancouver is! But it’s far.

Because she says so

Always the best reason.

I think there’s now an app you can get that makes the whole process a lot simpler.

Aren’t you lucky?

I read in a self-esteem book once, that you should write out a list of all the things about yourself you despise. I got on quite well at first, but after a few months it started to get quite unwieldy. So I started this blog instead. And it’s been great – I haven’t been troubled by self-esteem since.

Looks safe enough. Hope he gets something liquid to drink at some point, though.

Hmmm. I wonder what they’re going to do with those bunches of flowers?