Important news

And people say that print media aren’t relevant any more. Vanity Fair, April 2024, has the biggest story of the year.

Because there’s…

…and if we go into some details of this astonishing scoop, there’s, well, um…

…and that’s not even mentioning the…

…and there’s even…

…oh, and in case you’re wondering, they also…

… and I think that strange ringing sound I’m hearing in my ears might be my brain trying to explode, so I’d better go and put my head under a nice cold tap, now.

12 thoughts on “Important news”

  1. She even writes her own captions! “So when I see that, when I watch someone’s life, like, drain out of themselves, so it’s just, it’s hard to watch” (could be a capital punishment or “we’re past divorce” caption); “calma, calma, amore” (could be a bondage caption with panicking man); “Do not move please. I’ll come to you. We are not going to push. This is very calm.” (going to push what? push the button on the shock collar’s remote? push a man overboard to the sharks? push a door close when testicles are pincered in the doorframe??); “you’re going to have to give me more” (more money? more pain? more than one testicle? more lines? more years of servitude?); “the thing is, we all have nervous systems” (and sensitive nerve endings….); “And by the way,” she tells me, “if I watched you, I would think you looked great, and I’d be really happy for you too.” (a quip about how a man looks great when he’s being tortured?)

    1. She is a gift to the universe that just keeps on giving, Notta. My main difficulty when trying to write captions for Anne is that I just want to write ‘Ahhhhh’, or the sound of someone melting.

      Best wishes

      S

  2. Ha! I saw this over the weekend and immediately thought of you. I was planning a post on it, but should have guess you’d beat me to it. It’s a great cover photo.

    -paltego

    1. You should do a post on it anyway. I think your reach is approximately 1 bn x mine and I wouldn’t want anyone in the world accidentally to miss out on this.

  3. Oh my God! How is Servitor able to function after this photoshoot came out. It is almost like Vanity Fair hacked his brain to create this.

    1. Little of the initial brain remained after the hacking, it’s true, but little is required for my witless outpourings on this blog anyway, Gamelan.

      Many thanks for commenting, anyway and I very much hope you’ll do so again. At first I thought you were named after a notably unsuccessful French general in the First World War (and standing out for being unsuccessful among that crowd is an achievement indeed), but Ms Google tells me you’re a “multi-timbre ensemble consisting of metallophones, xylophones, flutes, gongs, voices, as well as bowed and plucked strings.” So, good for you.

      Best wishes

      S

      1. I fear my choice of user name might unfairly sully the good name of a beautiful Indonesian orchestra with my simping for the Matriarchy, but too late now.

        1. Ah, then I don’t understand it at all, but there’s much in this world I don’t understand.

          A further googling tells me that Gamelans often include several ‘Gamelan gambangs’ which is only a misprint or two away from sounding like the sort of performance I have come to dread, when my SO has the boys round. So probably best it isn’t that.

          All the best, Mr G.

          S

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