A true herstory from World War M.
want to claim that our contribution was the same as those of the front line
troops, OK? Those girls risked their
lives. We were in a safe female-led
environment the whole time.
right? So to win, we had to use our
other advantages like our superior intelligence, judgment, balance, wisdom, perception, creativity, social
skills, memory – all those things.
drugs? Really crude compared to the kind
of stuff we have today, but with so many of the more committed femsupremacists
fighting at the front, the government was worried about all the males back home. The more masculine ones were kept on
chain gangs, obviously, but the streets were full of all these supposedly
submissive males and I don’t think more than – oh 25%? – of them were really
believers in male inferiority, you know?
Fifth columnists, even when all dressed in frillies. It wasn’t like it is today. So we
were developing these basic obedience drugs: sissy pills, IQ reduction
treatments, willpower suppressants, that kind of thing. But it was a bit hit and miss – and there
were side-effects. You’d think it wouldn’t
be a problem for a guy to be ‘too obedient’ but we had cases whose egos had
been too smooshed by the chemical cosh for them even to chew food without an
order from a woman. Kind of funny, but we needed guys working in the factories
and fields to support the girls fighting patriarchy at the front. Can’t do that with a wimp who’s too scared to
super-important. We didn’t invent it
here, but we did all the initial testing.
We’d been working on pain receptors in male brains, so we were the
obvious lab to try out the first batch of implants.
working? The first set of test subjects screamed
continuously because their clamps just fired up those pain receptors and kept
going. The engineers were kind of
pissed, because they’d done a lot of work to ensure all it would do was pick up
sexist and derogatory thoughts about women. I guess we’d expected we’d see them
being shocked occasionally, then they’d get it under control within a few
hours? Took us a while to realise that
men think those things, like, all the time. We didn’t know that, back then. There were lots of things we didn’t know about men, because we hadn’t really been able to experiment on them properly, under the patriarchy. I guess if women had understood more about what men were really thinking, we wouldn’t have had all that feminist nonsense about trying to build a society based on equality between the sexes. We know better now.
hours because we thought there must be something wrong with them. Pulled out the implants and the
engineers went off to recalibrate. Then
strapped the males back down again, shoved those implants back in – and it was
just the same. Room full of guys
screaming their heads off. I guess
talking about it now, that sounds like quite a turn-on but the war wasn’t going
too well at this point, so we were too focused on the work to enjoy it.
what happens. Karen Lucysdaughter – you
know? She got the Nobel Prize for it
later. She put a batch of brain-clamped
guys into a secure facility and hooked them up to, like, intravenous feeds and
stuff and left them to scream. It went on
for days. Most of us gave up. To be honest, we thought Karen was just getting revenge. Most of the test subjects were former senior scientists and lab administrators and Karen had been an intern – obviously, she had some issues she wanted to work out. But it turned out she was doing science down there: making notes on a little tablet while these guys just shrieked and struggled
in agony hour after hour, day after day. She wasn’t just waiting. She’d done her PhD on male screams, so she was taking careful notes on that. She wrote the standard textbook on it,
later. There’s all kinds of different screams
and it turns out you can tell a lot about what a guy’s going through from the
modulation and the frequency of the screaming, you know? Not just the loudness, although that’s important too, obviously. Pretty interesting stuff.
looking for. One of the guys stopped screaming.
And she knew immediately he hadn’t – like – died, you know, ‘cos he was whimpering
and pleading and all that. But for a
moment there he wasn’t thinking sexist thoughts, so the clamp was giving his
pain receptors a rest. And Karen
went over to him and when he saw her, I guess he must have thought something bad,
because he started right up again. But over the course of the next day or so he
and a couple of the other subjects started to have moments not being in
agony. They were learning not to think
patriarchal thoughts! The brain clamps had
been working just fine all along; it just takes a lot more pain to persuade men
to start thinking the right thoughts than anyone had ever believed possible. Except for Karen – she’s such a visionary.
Brain clamps went into full production.
It’s hard to imagine the modern world without them, really, isn’t
it? Imagine if men could just think
disobedient or disrespectful thoughts without agony. The first production batches went straight to
the front, of course. They didn’t bother
too much with controlled experimental conditions there: captured enemy soldiers
got the implant and were typically just left to work it out for
themselves. If they managed to get their
thoughts straight before dying of starvation and stress, they’d get a collar
and a lock on their cock (those who hadn’t had their trophies taken) and sent
to the rear. Those who never really got it… well. They actually tried extracting and re-using
the implants at first, but pretty soon as the factories started churning them
out by the millions, it was cheaper not to bother.
they don’t usually suffer so much when they first get clamped. But the older guys – wow, some of them never
get it. You know, we’ve had an experiment
running since the war, to see how long it would take some of these sexists to
start thinking straight? There’s guys
down there who’ve been clamped for over a decade and still can’t get through a
single waking hour without a jolt. Of
course, they’re very polite and obedient to us when they get a chance to speak –
I guess you would be after ten years strapped in agony to a gurney – asking for
a merciful death and stuff. But you can’t
hide your thoughts from the clamp, so we can tell it’s all just a sham. You’d think they’d get wise – start to
recognise sexist thoughts forming and learn to replace them with healthier,
obedient ideas instead.
are stupid, should we?
why we won.