For old times’ sake


Oh hi!  It’s, err…, Mike isn’t it?  Oh wow.  Long time.

Well yeah,
yeah I’m fine.  You probably heard –
after we broke up I finally got serious about my work, and now I run my own
business consulting practice.  I kind of
split my time between here and New York, you know?  Although these days Shanghai’s almost as
important.

So…um.  How long’s it been?  Oh – listen to me, what a stupid thing to
say!  I know exactly when we broke up…
not going to forget it.  I guess we’ve
both moved on a lot since then!  I mean,
I got so upset, didn’t I?  Why shouldn’t
you ask me for a blow-job anyway?  I
suppose I was really conflicted, because back then I didn’t have the confidence
just to say no, so we had a scene and well… you know.

How about
you?  Do you live round here?  Pretty swanky neighbourhood, huh?

Oh, did
you?  Oh I’m sorry to hear that.  So many companies closing down lately, I
know, it’s been tough all over.  Which
one were you with?

Right.  Yes, they had a big rationalisation after
they got taken over by that French company, didn’t they?  Is that when you lost your job?  I know, a lot of people did. I worked on the
post-merger business plan, actually – that was my firm’s big break!  My client started
calling me the Surgeon – you know, for all the fat I cut out of the
company.  And the nickname got around and: ‘Hey!  Send for the Surgeon!’  You know? 
Really lucky break.

But anyway,
erm… obviously tough for you…  But
it’s nice to see you again!  I mean, just
to say hello, you know.  It’s not like I’d
want to get back together!  I mean, I
spent  – oh it must have been years –
hating you and loving you too, and thinking that I’d just pick up the phone and
maybe we could get back together… give you a blow job.  It was usually that bit that put me off,
actually!

Hmmm?  No, no serious relationships.  Actually, I usually pay for it these
days.  That way, I can get exactly what I
want and no fuss.  I’ve got so much
money, I just prefer it that way.  They
have to go down on their knees in front of me, and they have to be reluctant,
but then I start handing them the cash, one note at a time and they give me
oral sex… and I’ll tell you a little secret. 
They have to pretend to be called Mike!

Whoops!  Too much information.  Moving on! 

So what are
you doing today?

Begging on
the street?

Oh.  I see.

Well, honey,
let me see I’ve probably got a few notes here. 
Yes – here you go.  I – oops, I
dropped it!  How about that?  Go on: pick it up if you like. 
There it is – just down there in the gutter.

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