last night… look, next time you meet him, could you be a bit less weird around
Adrian? I mean, goodness, he just
mentioned his operation and you looked like you were having a panic
attack. And then you spent the rest of
the evening staring at his crotch.
Yes, it was very noticeable.
Honestly – anyone would think you hadn’t met anyone who’d been castrated
before.
Don’t be silly – of course you have. You know Simon, don’t you, and Fernando and –
Yes, of course he is. Simon had the op almost – oh I don’t know, two years
ago now. Jeanne told me. And there’s Eric of course. Eric was castrated ages ago. He was one of the first, in our circle.
Yes he is. Honey, I’m
not going to argue about this! Well,
maybe you didn’t know, but believe me Eric’s got nothing down there any more. Angie had a few friends over the day it was
done.
No, well it’s a girl thing, you
wouldn’t have been invited.
which of the married men we know hasn’t been cut. There’s Alex of course – Karen’s been trying
to get him to the clinic for years now, but you know how stubborn he is. And Malcolm and Kate, but that’s because
they’re still trying to have children.
Kate doesn’t want IVF for some reason, so they’ve agreed they won’t do
it yet.
Paul? Hmmm. I don’t know actually. I haven’t heard anything. Amelia doesn’t like to talk about private things like that. But he does seem a lot calmer than he used to be, don’t you think? Sort of placid. That’s often a sign – it’s because the testosterone isn’t there any more, apparently. Maybe he is. Gosh – it’s almost everyone then, isn’t it?
to be getting married, and then everyone seemed to be having kids. We’re a bit behind, this time, I suppose.
Oh, stop looking so panicked. We don’t have to talk about it any time soon,
if you don’t want! I’m fine with how
things are just now. You know I am. They do say it’s best
to get it done before you’re 45, that’s the only thing. And that would still give me time to enjoy a
few younger men before I hit the menopause.
Maybe some time after the summer holidays? You’ll probably want to have sex when we’re
in Portugal, after all. It would make
the holiday really special, knowing it was the last time for you, don’t you
think?
Anyway, we can talk about it another time. Do you want to watch some TV?
cringe and crossing legs defensively .
Oh, don't worry about it Ian. You'll probably find you're ready for it, when the time comes. The worst part is the waiting. Well, that and the lifetime as a desexed eunuch, obviously.
Love the little bit put in about her enjoying lots of other men before her menopause but surely if she wants a mans penis ( that is one still attached to his body and not a severed stuffed one) she can enjoy one at any age.
Like the ironic and subtly stated cruelty of it all and the males lack of a real choice.
femsup
And if you've been a good husband, maybe your wife will even get you a pair of neuticles. You've heard of them, right – those prosthetic testicles? They're only cosmetic, but you'd at least have something between your legs. You'd like that, right? To pretend that you're still intact, like the other boys?
Hey, can you offer me some advice? My friend's having her husband fixed, and she's asked me to plan a little get-together for the occasion. However, I'm afraid . . . well. . . to be honest, I've never been to a castration party before, so I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do, and what's considered tacky. Any suggestions?
I really don't want to embarrass her, so if you can help at all . . . .I'd really appreciate it. She's a really good friend, and I'm not even sure if I should be ordering a cake, or maybe something more like a platter of cold cuts. Please help me make this special for her!
What a nice idea. You could get musical ones like those little silvery balls that make a very gentle, almost ethereal sound of a bell.
Or use the inside from a squeaky toy! MWEEP! MWEEP!
Thank you, femsup. I saw your comment on a tumblr blog the other day, recommending this blog to the faint-hearted, and I appreciated it mightily. I hope you keep on enjoying the blog.
Servitor
Dear Perplexed
Don't worry – on the big day, I'm sure your friend will be so happy with her life that really, the details won't matter. Generally, people prefer something quiet for these occasions – although I expect we all read about that Indian billionairess who hired an entire 5-star hotel for hers!
Just a few good friends, some good food and laughter. Lots of laughter.
One little ultra-modern touch – how about encouraging him to update his Facebook status to reflect his new condition?
Thank you for replying! I'd never thought of Facebook!
The other women in our circle all have very strong opinions about what we should do, but (to be honest) I think they're just as clueless. So having the advice of an expert really means a lot to me. Do you mind if I run a couple of their ideas by you?
"Gayle", the wild child in our group, is really pushing for a stripper. She keeps saying that its exactly what we need – a virile young man prancing about in a G-string! Says it'll be a celebration of "Abby's" new freedom, and help "Rick" appreciate what he's lost – and accept that he's no longer the man in her life.
Sandy, meanwhile, thinks we should invite some women that Rick knows. His boss, his sisters, you know – women who'd appreciate, and want to celebrate, his new status. That makes some sense to me . . . but I'm worried it'd take attention away from Abby. What do you think?
And there's a question about inviting their "adult" children – Abby and Rick have a 20 year old daughter, and a son who just turned 18. I can see inviting the daughter, but the son . . . I don' t know. "Rhonda", who's really involved with the local female supremacist group, insists that it'll be good for him, that seeing his father accept castration like a responsible male should will serve as a good role model. But, he'd be the only male invited (well, except maybe for Gayle's stripper) . . . and wouldn't he just be a wet blanket on the celebration? You know how touchy males get, when the subject of castration comes up!
Again, I really appreciate your help with this. For some reason, no one's written a Miss Manner's guide to castration parties, and I'd be lost without you. Thank you so very much!
Goodness me, perplexed, I seem to have left you more perplexed than ever.
Why don't you email some of these women in your circle, telling them you've decided they're a bit clueless, and see if they come back with any ideas for you?
Or if you give me their contact details, I could do it for you, if you're shy.
Wow, man – are you actually trying to hit on the women going to a castration party?!? Wow, just wow – that takes some serious cojones!
Hey! My post vanished!
Anyway, as I was saying, I've actually BEEN to a couple of co-ed castration parties! I'm a junior castratrix out here on the West Coast, and while they're not common (not even out here), they do happen!
There aren't any real rules or traditions (yet) for a coed party, but probably my favorite happened last year. I was still an apprentice at the time, so I could only tag-along and watch. But, hey, I was in the room!.
Hosted by a nice lesbian couple, a strict dress code was enforced for all the intact males – just a thong! Skimpy, skin-tight, curve hugging thongs! Even those locked in chastity had to be unlocked for the party, so that their male charms were on full display.
Her husband, meanwhile, wore a baby blue push-up thong! You've seen them, right? The ones with the built-in cock ring? ALL the women tried to cop a feel of his bulge! It was just THAT prominent!
Oh, and several guests had brought gifts for the happy couple! You should've seen the look on the husband's face when he unwrapped the first strap-on!
Meanwhile, there were trays of light finger food scattered around. Cheese, crackers, slices of Rocky Mountain oysters . . . that kind of thing
Just before the big event, the wife presented her husband to the assembled guests, and the eunuch-to-be took off his thong. She announced that this was his last pair of male underwear (the rest having been donated/destroyed earlier in the day), and he tossed them into the flame.
Two large, muscular guys (specially hired for the day – just in case he tried to run) came up behind him then, and led him off to a bedroom that we'd prepped for the castration. Absolutely no body fat on them! They looked like greek gods: broad shoulders, muscular chests, and butts you could bounce quarters off of!
The beefy guys helped us get him nicely restrained, while the women filed in and took up places around the room (the hosts were keeping the boys occupied in the other room). The wife gave her husband a nice, long, deep kiss, then told him how happy and proud she was.
We did have a bit of friction at this point – the husband seemed to think he'd been promised one last orgasm before his surgery. But his wife didn't seem to know anything about that, and all restrained like that . . . well, he'd gone a bit too far to try to back out! Sure, he complained – but there's a reason we carry ball gags!
After the castration itself, everyone reassembled for a champagne toast. Well, the women got champagne, the men had to make do with sparkling cider – we didn't want the alcohol to get in the way of the guys to perform later that night! Several women commented on how cute the new eunuch looked in his frilly new pink panties, and how adorable he looked, all smoothed out "down there".
Oh, and for some reason, the guys were all at least half-hard when we came back from castrating the husband. Not really sure what happened there – but they looked great! What with them straining against their little thongs, stretching them out!
Things didn't last much longer after that. The wife wanted some quiet time with her new eunuch, and many of the other women were anxious to go home with their boys. And I got to take one of our beefcakes home with me!
Oops – so it did! Wasn't my doing Ms Tanya, I can assure you of that. I read it on my email (I get copies of all comments) and I was very happy.
Pesky spam filter. It does keep out a lot of rubbish, but it ought to be clever enough to realise that spambots don't say "Hey! My post vanished!". Nor do they put up fascinating and obviously lovingly-crafted on-topic contributions (preferring to switch the topic to buying dodgy unknown Chinese electronics brands).
I think I might be able to get it back. Hang on…
No, hang on again, maybe it didn't disappear. There's nothing in my spam folder (except spam). The comment I was thinking of was on another posting ("I grant I never saw a goddess go…"). Could that be the one you're thinking of too…?
Looking back, more than a decade later, I confess that I still don’t understand the logic of this monologue. What bearing could her husband’s genitalia possibly have on the narrator’s (narratrix’s?) ability to ‘enjoy a few younger men’?
I think maybe it was just preying on her mind, you know, Mr A? Far better to get them out of the way – permanently – and she can stop thinking about them and enjoy the good things in life.
Looking back more than a decade later, I’m just depressed by how badly the Blogger posts automatically imported into WordPress. Look at that spacing… would have any reputable governess reaching for her tawse at a glance.
Oh well.
Best wishes
S