How many secrets can there be, I wonder? And how secret are they if they’ve been published on the Internet?
Oh well. Anyway, here is another extract from my forthcoming self-help book Eat that worm! 21 great ways to do exactly as you’re told.
1. Put those arguments to good use.
Don’t kid yourself that you won’t have arguments – there’s never been a marriage without them. But when you do, use them to build a stronger marriage. All arguments get resolved eventually – and a wise couple will find a way of using that resolution to sort out a whole lot of things in their relationship.
2. Little kindnesses will be appreciated.
Take opportunities to show your partner you’re thinking of them. If you think he might be thirsty, how about bringing him a drink of water, for example?
3. Help motivate your partner.
If your partner’s trying to do something difficult – like sticking to an exercise programme or a diet – how about helping out? Remember, you’re not just individuals any more, you’re a team too, and it’s amazing what you can achieve together.
4. Let your partner think things through.
If you’ve had a disagreement, don’t always try to sort it out straight away. Give your partner some time to think about it alone – it might be just what he needs to see things from your point of view!
5. Let your partner experiment.
If your partner wants to try something new, don’t argue about it or get worried. Just go with the flow and see how it turns out. What’s the worst that can happen?
6. Learn what works.
The next time your partner does something you really like, try to think whether there was anything you’d done just before that might have helped motivation. Once you’ve found out what it is that makes your partner behave the way you want, you can start using it frequently.
7. Enjoy the journey.
It can be hard work making a marriage work. But try to have fun as you do it. The next time you’re about to put something right that’s gone wrong, just stop and think about what you’re doing. You’re building a relationship that lasts. So – how about smiling as you do it?