Changing shifts







Oh hi George, that you?
Hmm? No, I wouldn’t say she’s in a particularly bad mood
today.  This is my own fault really –
stacked the towels in the wrong order again. 
You know how it is. Eighty minutes, eight strokes, then another eighty
minutes.  Could be worse.  I had quite a light shift, actually.  A few with the strap and a couple of sesssions of kneeling punishment.  Quite a relief after last time, I can tell you.
Nothing much to report. 
There’s some of her friend Julie’s laundry in, to be ready for
5.30.  And she wanted me to do the
kitchen, so the bathroom’s still to do, OK?
Oh by the way, we’re a bit short on washing up liquid, so
try and go easy on it, will you?  My
shift starts at 6am tomorrow, so I won’t have a chance to buy any more until
Thursday.  Wouldn’t want to earn any more
demerit points, not this close to the end of the month. And you know how she is about the washing up, especially when she’s having a party.
Oh – hasn’t she said?  Yes, this Saturday.  I expect she’ll tell you today, because we’re both going to be on duty, I think.  Trevor’s going to be setting up, then you and
I are doing maid service and clean up.  House inspection 9am Sunday, then we get the rest of the day off if it’s all satisfactory.  With two of us working overnight that should be all right.  It’s the Saturday evening I’m worried about, to tell the truth.  I
heard her mention that that vicious little cow Marianne’s going to be
there.  You remember?  The one who made us all dance with those
weights attached at New Year.  So we
might be in for rather a rough time, I’m afraid. Glad it’s not just going to be
me.
Ermm… listen, old boy. 
You couldn’t do me a favour and straighten my stocking tops could
you?  You’d be saving me four strokes at
least.  No need for her to know, eh?
Oh come on, George. 
I’d do the same for you, you know I would.
OK, well I understand. 
You’re probably right. She does always seem to find these things out,
doesn’t she? We’ll just forget I said anything.
You, ermm… you won’t tell her I asked you, will you? I mean, I know we’re supposed to tell her about any rule infractions, but… you know.  Honour among maids and all that.  Hmm?
George?
George, are you still there?

What women like

So many books about that topic, discussions on the Internet… 

But I’ve learnt a trick about pleasing women which I find works almost every time. The secret is not to put your own sexual needs first, you see.  Many women are quite pleasantly surprised if you don’t insist on sex.  Just hand over the money in an envelope and leave. 

After all, you can always masturbate later, jerking off to pictures on the Internet, alone in your squalid little room.  While she gets on with her life.

Frequent flyers get extra benefits, including staying behind for an hour after landing to clean the whole aircraft.

Her birthday’s in eleven days time. She doesn’t like too much fat on her boys, you see, but you should be nice and thin for her by then.


You can actually fry them up still attached for maximum freshness, but many people think that’s going a bit too far.
Looks like someone hasn’t been following Servitor’s rules for making women happy! Remember – always leave straight after paying. Or if you’ve booked with a credit card through an escort service, just tell them it’s OK if she doesn’t turn up.  Trust me: she’ll love it.
Plenty more where that came from, so come on – get it down.

PS – as some of you might know, Blogger provides stats on where the traffic is coming from*.  Mostly Femdom Resource, Google and my Tumblr site, but it also tells you which searches on Google led people here.  Now, normally these are fairly obvious things involving femdom and bootlicking and suchlike wholesome matters**, but this morning we had: “kellogg’s frosted mini wheats original, 24 ounce box” and “Brita water filter replacement cartridge”.

Woah.  There are some things that are just too kinky even for me.  Take your weird grocery obsessions elsewhere, OK guys?   Let’s try to keep it clean here.


* no, stop worrying, it doesn’t tell me anything about who you are. Except you, Tom from the US.  Oh – and you too, Mr Collins from the UK.

** and “contemplating the devine” with depressing frequency. Use a dictionary if you‘re not sure, you stupid males!  That’s not even a word, OK?

Warning

There’s now conclusive evidence of the harmful effects of looking at porn.  These can vary from simple cases of sore knees and light bruising across the face to severe lacerations of the buttocks and intense pain in the genital region.  You have been warned…


…but I expect you’re too stupid to do anything about it.  I certainly am.  On with the show.


She’s going to be brave for both of you, OK?

Why would I want a new pair?

Hmmm.. but is he really sorry?




 

His n hers.

Convenient too. There’s always a queue for the ladies’ loo at a wedding.


Just a little prick…

… oh, I’m not even going to go there.  It’s a very old joke and not very funny.


Let’s have some brand new and not very funny captions instead.

Dommes don’t care about these things, but we subs do.  The taste is quite different, for one thing.

It’s good to experiment a bit.

I’m one of her regular clients.  First Tuesday of every month, 9.35 to 9.38.  It gives meaning to my otherwise pointless existence.

Men do seem to be making some pretty strange democratic choices just now, you’ve got to admit.

um…


I was so upset that I cried

… all the way to the chip shop 

(trigger warning: video is unrelated to the subject matter of this blog, although I suppose those with a really really strong cuckoldry and insult fetish might just about find something in it).

 

And she’ll hold on to that very special key, just to make specially sure.

It’s true, actually.  There’s nothing that drives away mild discomfort quite like agony.
A bit foolish, really.  She could easily claim pro-domme rates for acting as his slavemistress and then where would he be?
I eventually got round to asking my wife whether my performance in bed was OK or not.  I was a bit worried, but actually she was very nice about it.  Said it was so long ago she’d completely forgotten after all these years and why would it matter to anyone anyway?  I was so relieved.

Silly wasting money on a bus when it’s only eight miles anyway. Think how good you’d feel putting the bus fare into the fur coat fund instead.  Every little helps.






4300 kPa

The pressure exerted by a woman walking in high heels. so it seems. That’s a lot of Pascals.  4.3 million Pascals, I suppose.  Makes you think, eh?  And that’s assuming she’s not actually jumping up and down.


I read that on the Physics Website, which (drawing I suspect on Cutnell, John D., & Kenneth W. Johnson. Physics. 4th ed. New York: Wiley, 1998. 338) explains it this way:

equation

This is approximately 40 atmospheric pressures. Now you realize the full potential
of the high heel.
For comparison’s sake, would you rather your hand be pummeled by a herd of elephants
or a group of angry women wearing high heels?

Sorry, what was that?


Would you rather your hand be pummeled by a herd of elephants
or a group of angry women wearing high heels? 

Mmmmm… sounds like you don’t read this blog very often, Mr Physics Website.

Anyway, it all seems very instructive. I won’t link to the website as I don’t think they’d particularly appreciate this source of traffic (yes, dear readers, that’s right: I am ashamed of you).   On with what we do on this website, now.






It’s not actually the days wearing the collar that will hurt you, in any case.  It’s all the things you said and did during those days when you weren’t wearing it.




Looks like you’re about to get a feel for Russian culture.

Interestingly, a recent survey found that many women with husbands in chastity actually start wearing sexy clothes more often than before.  Women, eh? Always missing the point.  Bless ’em.

Anyway, he’s got another ear. So it’s not like the time when she – oh, well,, that’s another story.

Kafkaesque, no?


Blonde obedience

You just have to be polite.  You don’t have to approve of castration yourself – you’re welcome to your own opinion, after all.  She might not take any particular notice of your opinion, but you can have it.

A talent you never knew you had.

I don’t uderstand people who pay for vanilla sex. I mean, I go to a dominatrix, it’s two hours of punishment and humiliation.  A really rich, varied experience. Pay someone for straight sex and what have you got?  Three seconds of fun, maybe four?


Chemical castration.  Hmm.  Not much fun for her, is it?


Little toys for little boys.


Giving until it hurts

I donate all my spare money to the retired dominatrices’ malevolent fund. It doesn’t make me feel any better about myself, but it saves all that time that I used to waste buying stuff, eating out or going on holiday.

I have a very active fantasy life, as you can tell. Sometimes it does go too far, though.  I mean, really…men’s lib??  Come on Servitor…let’s try to keep the blog reasonably grounded in reality.


Yes, I’ve never had any problem with female authority figures.  My difficulty arises when we have 19 year-old female interns around the office.  They’re just not used to giving orders or having someone else get their coffee.  But over the course of a six week internship, they usually get the idea.

To cut a long story short: she said so, he protested, she insisted, he tearfully agreed and now it’s one of their biggest sellers.  So he can afford to give her even more tribute.  Funny how things work out.

That doesn’t mean she would always give you a handjob, of course. 

…and why it will continue to happen.





And all I do is kiss you through the bars of a cage

… well I would if you put your boot a little closer, anyway.


 

About that which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.
Dommes.. they’re all about rules.
 This is the delightful Domina Liza.  I think I’d be happy in her cage forever, if I could see her dressed in green, setting off that stunning auburn hair, from time to time.
Regrets? He’s had a few.  And he’ll have plenty of time for a few more.




Well, he does need a new companion. Some might say the adventures would be a little dull, if he’s never allowed out.  But I’d watch it.
If you know what this caption is about, you might also enjoy this.  Or you might not.




What do you mean, this one doesn’t fit today’s ‘cage’ theme?  Of course it does.  The cage isn’t actually in the picture, because it hasn’t been delivered yet.  But it’ll be ready for you when you get back from honeymoon.




Marriage guidance

Honesty is so important in a mariage. I told my wife on our wedding night that I wanted her to be completely honest and open, if my performance in bed wasn’t satisfying her, and the very next day she told the hotel staff and a couple of guys we met in a bar all about it.  And since then, she’s told all her friends, all my friends, my co-workers and quite a lot of random strangers.  So much better for these things to be out in the open, don’t you think?


Oh… that Sonia.  Oh dear.







We can’t always get what we want. She can, but we can’t.









I guess you could always renegotiate if it isn’t working out for one or other of you.


She’s got a lot of pain for Doug to work through.