Let’s do the time-warp again


Those of you who have been reading this blog from the very begining in 2011 are very, very bad and perverted people who deserve to be forcibly  may well recall that one of the very first posts was of the front pages of some magazines that had fallen through a erm… worm hole time dimensional vortex thingummy and landed on my desk.

Oh yes, you do remember. Of course you do. Stop lying – has no one ever told you it’s very naughty to lie, boy? Hmm? Look – just go here if you’re one of those johnny-come-latelies who’ve only started reading this in the last five years, OK?

The title was a little odd.  I think back then I was occasionally trolling the followers of a rather devout Christian who had a blog of the same name, so there were a lot of religiously titled posts.  He’s now publishing religious blog posts in the form of piss-takes of femdom porn too, oddly enough, so it all seems entirely fair.

Anyway: three magazines had arrived from the far future… 2014*, 2017 and 2019.  I must have missed my copy of Subbie Hubbie Monthly back in 2014, but I have already reserved my copy of Dominant Lady Quarterly (at the special male price of just £2500 per copy), so I am looking forward to April.

Anyway (again): it happened a second time!  Would you believe it?  Three magazines, no doubt from the faaaaar far distant future.  These ones don’t actually have dates on them, oddly enough.  So.. yeah, here they are.


* Well I didn’t know this blog was going to be going on so long, did I?  I thought I’d have something better to do with my time by now. Oh well.




 




Domme-splaining


And don’t worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she’s fine with that too.

 

You don’t want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you?  No? Didn’t think so. Up you get, then.  Don’t forget to scream on the way down.

 

I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly.  So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially ‘starts’ 23 hours before I actually arrive.  I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it’s a good deal really.

So many new things to understand in this relationship.  The dictionary’s a big help.  So’s the shock collar, of course.




What a lovely spanking bench.  Don’t you think?

Well versed in etiquette

Fastidious and precise.

Maybe ask for a prescription for some painkillers?

Well, obviously not every month.  That would be silly.  But maybe occasionally..?

Shame clothing. I’ve never found I’ve needed it.

Who needs pocket money when your skirts don’t even have pockets?

Hmm.  It might be a while before the next blog posting.  And it might be a bit dull… (more so than usual, even).




Distance learning


Yes, I
suppose I do like to take it seriously. 
I’m always uncomfortable when I see dommes who are all latex and boots in what’s
supposed to be a school scene, you know? 

Actually,
I’ve got a client who can’t get enough realism. We discovered this online
tuition outfit – puts you in touch with a tutor to take you through a whole
GCSE course, and at the end of it you take the exam and everything. He used to
send essays and tests off to some lady in Macclesfield, and she’d mark
them. 
 
Then we had a system: the strap
for less than 18/20, the cane for less than 14/20. We had a strict rule for how
many strokes, and any additional lines or detention punishment.  You know – so it wouldn’t be me as a Mistress
deciding; it would all be about the schoolwork.
 
And then he’d take the proper exam at the end of it – you can do it online these days.  With more punishment – obviously! – for any grade less than an A.
 
 

So it was all working out fine, he was doing course after course.  Getting so many qualifications!  Languages, sciences, all sorts of
things.  I think he was quite a high-flying lawyer, though, so I don’t suppose a few more GCSEs did him that much good.  Anyway, one day it went a bit
wrong. He’d accidentally included some kind of email to me about his next
session, in one of the packages of essays for her.  So I come down one morning, and there’s this
nicely spoken lady on my doorstep, demanding very politely to know what the
blankety-blank is going on!
 
Of course,
she had the address because we’d used this one for the deliveries. He used to
come here, and I’d open the envelope right there and read out the grades and
any comments in front of him – with all the implements on display.  A bit difficult for me, actually, not to be in
control of a session like that. He might have 19/20 and just be sent into the
bathroom for a hand-job, or he might have 12 or so and need a good caning
followed by lines and detention.  Made it
hard to plan my day.

Well, I couldn’t leave her standing there so I asked her in for tea and at first I wasn’t going to say anything.
Client confidentiality and all that.  But
then I thought – you know, in a way we’ve been involving her in this thing
without her consent. It’s not really fair. So without giving her his real name,
I told her everything. 
 
She went
white!  But she listened to it all in
silence.  Showed her the room with the
whipping bench and the canes and things like that.  She looked pretty shocked, but she was quite
calm.  Calm and quiet.  She’d once given him just 9/20 for a piece of
work – that was the worst grade he’d ever had – and she asked me what he’d got
for that, so I said 36 with the cane and writing seven hundred lines in
detention. But she didn’t say anything… just nodded and reached out, gently
touched one of the canes as if she was thinking about what it must have been
like for him.  She asked a few more
questions, but I think she was just being polite by then.  She wanted to leave, so we quickly finished
our tea and off she went.
 
 

And, as luck
would have it – or bad luck if you like – he was just arriving for a
session.  He turned the corner of the
road just as she was coming up to the end. 
He told me their eyes met.  Of
course, he didn’t know what to think at the time, didn’t know who she was, but
when I got here I told him all about it. And he said that when their eyes met,
he knew that she knew it was him!  Isn’t
that weird! 
 
 

Anyway.  We thought that would be that, so I started
looking around for another online tutor. But then he got a message asking where
his essay on Cromwell’s reforms of the legal system was, as part of his GCSE on British constitutional history, so he wrote one up
quickly, and sent it off.

Came back
covered in red ink.  8/20 for content
minus 4 for lateness.  I’ve never given
anyone such a beating.  He literally
could not sit down for a week – which was a shame, as he had several thousand lines to write. Fortunately, his next essay was a bit better: he’d have got 15 if she hadn’t taken a few points off for messy handwriting.
 
He got a starred A for that subject, when he finally came to take the exam.  Examiner’s report said it was the best script he’d ever seen.  Well, I suppose he is a lawyer.  He hasn’t done quite as well on any since, although it’s rare he doesn’t get at least an A, nowadays.

Funny how
things turn out sometimes, isn’t it?
 
Anyway, can’t stand here talking all afternoon.  So what it’s going to be today?  The cane for masturbation, was it?  Right then, you go and get into your uniform, and I’ll set up in here.

 End
 

Note for foreign chaps: GCSEs are the exams English* pupils take when they’re fifteen or sixteen.  But those of us whose emotional and sexual development is eternally stuck at that age could take more of them at any time, I suppose.

 
Note for everyone: all of these lovely pictures are of Miss Porter, of the English Governess site. I hope she isn’t cross with me for using them like this.  That would be just awful 
 
*Note for pedants.  Yes ‘English’ not ‘British’.  Well, English and Welsh.  They do it differently in Scotland.  That’s why the story above does not mention tawses.

And – finally – here’s a bonus caption, also voiced by the divine Miss Porter, bearing some rather unsettling news!
 

Plugged in



Boy?  You can come in here now.  I’m just about done.

Right, so as you can see I’ve been setting a few things up on your computer.  One of my other pupils is an IT expert.  Andy – such a clever boy!  He’s built a few tools under my instruction, and I’ve just installed them. See?  It runs in the background there: MyGoverness.

Now, give me your left hand.  Let me just put this on your wrist… hold still while it clicks shut – there!  Now, this just looks like an ordinary leather bracelet, but you see at the side here where it folds back?  Open that up.  That’s right.  Now that’s a USB key, and if you pull it you’ll see you have about three feet of cable too.

Let’s check the length.  Just plug it into the nearest USB port on your computer.  Hmm.  That’s a bit tight.  Can you move the PC just a bit to the left, so it’s closer to where you sit?  That’s right.  Now plug it in.  There – that’s fine, isn’t it?  You’re sitting comfortably at the PC and you can type with both hands but you’re plugged in, too.

Now you see how the icon has changed?  That’s because it knows you’re plugged in.  And it’s noted the time, and I’ll be able to see what time you plugged in too.  Now, the reason it’s yellow is that you’re on a voluntary session just now.  So you can unplug again – that’s right, just pull the USB key out – and you see, it’s turned back to green.  That’s OK.

But – plug in again, will you? – if I just set a compulsory session… hang on, I can do it with an app on my phone.  Here we are… George, that’s you… set compulsory…immediate…no end time – there.  You see?  The icon is red now, because you’re on a compulsory session.

Try unplugging.

See?  “Unauthorised exit” it says – and it’s flashing the whole screen and making that alarm noise to warn you.  And of course that’s all recorded and I can see that you unplugged without permission.  Those alarms are so that if you plug back in within ten seconds, it just records a minor infraction.  You know what you get for a minor infraction, don’t you George?  That’s right – it’s not pleasant, but it’s bearable.  But if it’s more than ten seconds it records a major infraction – and then of course it’ll be the cane.

No, no set number of strokes.  But obviously, there would be more the longer the unauthorised absence.



Let me just cancel that.  Plug back in first, will you?  That’s right.  And I’ll make a note to delete the major infraction it’s just recorded – see, there’s a message on my phone stating that George unplugged without authorisation for a period of 40 seconds.  And I press on that, it’ll call your dedicated mobile, so I can check what’s going on, and book you in for a caning.

Now then, compulsory sessions can be of fixed length or they can continue until tasks have been completed.  Let me show you some of the things we can do, shall I?

(Oh, he’s such a clever boy, Andy, he really is.  He’s been on this system for almost two years now, and of course since his job actually involves sitting in front of a computer, at home, I can keep him plugged in most of the time).

Now.  This is ‘detention’.  It’s the simplest programme of all.  You see – your computer’s completely unresponsive.  So you just sit here for as long as I’ve specified, and the clock there tells you how long you have to wait.  And if I just specify the no-hands option – like…so!  Now you can see the clock’s ticking upwards?  Quite fast?  Well, that’s because it’s adding time.  To start it counting down again, you have to press the q and the page down keys at the same time.  See – they’re on opposite sides of the keyboard so you have to use both hands. That’s right.  You see now it’s counting down again?  So if this were real, you’d stay like that for another hour and twenty minutes, before it releases you.

Oh – George?  Don’t try to stick the keys down with anything.  It never really works and I do make snap inspections you know.

And then there’s another option that specifies five keys on each side being pressed.  So you have to hold your hands perfectly still in a fixed position, until your detention is over.

 



OK, I’ll cancel that.

Hmmm?  Well no, of course you can’t.  If the cable to your wristband is broken, then it won’t register you.  It’s quite strong, though.  I suppose it could break by accident. You’d just have to make an appointment to see me and we’d discuss it.  If you have a good explanation, then I might not be too hard on you.

Right – now of course there’s a line-writing module.

Oh don’t groan, George!  Of course there’s a line-writing module.  All my boys have to write lines.  You knew that when you signed up to have a governess, didn’t you? 

Yes, of course you did.

Anyway, that works pretty much like the line-writing programmes you’ve probably seen on the Internet – Fond of Writing, writeforme and so on.  You see the line up there, you type it in a little box and if you make an error you have to write it again, and it adds an extra to your target.  Pretty straightforward.

In some ways, I prefer making boys write lines by hand.  I’ll still have you doing that as well – that’s generally what I have in mind when I set you a detention without fixing your hands on the keyboard.  But it’s so much easier this way – all quite automatic, you see.  And I can have a line of any length at all.  No – no limit.  At first Andy had it set at 255 characters, but when I said that wasn’t enough he converted it into an unlimited field.  I copied and pasted an entire chapter of the Guide to the Correction of Young Gentlemen, once.  Of course, it’s almost impossible to type that much without making at least one mistake!  When I looked the next day, I realised the boy I’d set it to had been going for over 18 hours, and he had 76 extras!  So of course I just let him finish the one he was on and that was that.  I’m not that strict!

I like setting lines in foreign languages too.  Turkish, Estonian… that kind of thing.  You have to concentrate a bit harder.  I could even just set a random sequence of letters and characters, but I do like the thought that the boy is actually learning something as he types it again and again.

Anyway, it can set on compulsory or voluntary mode while you’re writing your lines.  So it might keep you at it until you finished, or you might just have a target number of lines to complete by a set date.  One of my boys said in his application form that he needed a governess’s guidance to stop him procrastinating; so I set him 5000 lines every month but left it completely up to him when to do them.  The first few months, he left it awfully late and had to work through the night as he got close to the deadline, but now he’s learnt to settle down into a steady routine.  Isn’t that nice?



So that’s line-writing… what else can I show you?

That little light?  Yes, your camera’s on, you see.  I can check up on any of the boys who are plugged in.  And it stays on for a couple of minutes after they unplug – I love watching them frantically trying to plug back in within the ten seconds deadline if they pull it out accidentally.

Hmmm?  No, there’s no connection to your chastity belt.  Andy had some ideas about that, but it sounded very complicated and I didn’t really see the point.  After all, every boy comes to see me in person at least once every two weeks, so even the most frequent masturbation schedule can be supervised in person.

Oh – but that reminds me.  Here’s a task that you’re going to become very familiar with over the next few months!  This is called ‘mens sana‘.  Do you recognise the quote?

That’s right: mens sana in corpore sano.  Meaning?

Well, what’s the point of ‘knowing’ it if you don’t know what it means? 

I see.  Forgotten.  Well – it’s a good thing you’ve got a governess, then, isn’t it?

Mens sana in corpore sano means ‘a clean mind in a healthy body’.  And it’s what I aim to instil in you.  Because at the moment, you have a filthy mind in a disgustingly perverted and unhealthy little body, don’t you?

And why’s that?  Because you’ve spent so much time sitting right here, masturbating in front of all the pornography you have on this computer, that’s why!

Oh don’t be ridiculous, George, of course I found it!  I told you Andy was clever, didn’t I?  Do you think I wouldn’t have software that can find hidden images and movies?

Look – there it all is.  Filthy, filthy pictures and movies showing all sorts of things you’re not going to be allowed any more.  So – we’re going to clean it all up!

See – I’m setting a task called ‘clean up computer’…and requiring, let’s see, 100 a week.  Now – you see it’s opened a directory full of your pornography?  You can see the files there – in fact, this is the only way you can access this directory now.  Just double click on any of them – a picture, say.

There it is.  It’s all quite greyed out and blurry, so you can’t see much of it.  Not enough to get excited.  But we can see enough to know what it is, can’t we?  Poor girl – she must be awfully cold in that bra, especially without any panties.  Anyway – move your mouse over it.

That’s right.  You see how it’s changed to a scrubbing brush? So press both mouse buttons down and start scrubbing back and forth.  That’s right…back and forth, back and forth.  And you see how the picture is gradually disappearing where you scrub?  It takes about ten passes over any pixel to scrub it completely clean.  And once you’ve done it for the whole picture – that’s right, keep going.  Scrub it all away…  Once it’s done it for the whole picture, it deletes the file and records one filthy picture cleaned up. 

It works on videos too.  How about that one?  “Melissa sucks cock”  That sounds like the sort of thing we want to clean up.  It takes a frame every minute as a photo, and you have to clean all of them.  So let’s see… goodness, Melissa sucks a cock for a long time, doesn’t she?  Well, you’d better get started.  It will credit you with eleven cleaned-up pictures for this, so it’s all quite fair.

Each one takes about three minutes if you’re scrubbing vigorously, so 100 a week is just over three hours or so.  And you’ll continue that every week until they’re all gone.

How many have you got, anyway?  Goodness!  However did you find time to look at them all?  Well, you’re going to be doing this for a few years, by the looks of it, then, aren’t you?  And some of those look like quite long videos.



Anyway. you carry on scrubbing away poor Melissa’s unpleasant experience, and I’ll go downstairs and have a cup of tea.  I’ll set you a compulsory six hour session – to give you a tour of all the different features, and then when you wake up tomorrow you should plug in to see your weekly schedule – I can set it up tonight.  All my boys need to be plugged in at 6am every day, just to check for new instructions.

No, I can let myself out.  You gave me a spare key, remember?  So I can come and go as I please.  Unlike you.

The part of The Governess in this technological tale was played by the stern but beautiful Miss Jessica Wood. She’s based in Hertfordshire, which I think might be the first positive thing I’ve ever heard about the place.
 
PS – if you like writing lines for imaginary dommes (and, curiously enough, I do) try this line writing site.

There must be an angel

(playing with my heart)

Edgeplay shave
It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little thoughtfulness and the daily touch of a razor-sharp blade.
 
 

Wife goes away but husband won't play
When the cat’s away, the mice will.. well, do their chores and write lines, by the look of it.
 

Naughty words
Sometimes these things are just, well, involuntary aren’t they?  It’s not that she wants to burn your hand with the iron – she just feels a compulsion.
 


She’s probably joking.  Don’t you think she’s joking?
 
 
There are more hot chicks in empire-line dresses right here, if that’s your thing.  According to Google, though, I’m the only person in the world for whom “hot chicks in empire-line dresses” is a thing, so maybe not.
 

He is contented thy poor drudge to be…

To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side.
No want of conscience hold it that I call
Her ‘love’ for whose dear love I rise and fall.






Gullible sub
…and about to become rather an exciting one!
On the left, Domina Heelena and on the right, Mistress Arella.  Sisters, I believe. And in the middle, down below, you. 






Don’t worry.  If you don’t have time to finish them all by your next visit, I’m sure she won’t mind at all.
This is Domina Liza, in case you are feeling adventurous or very, very guilty.






Femdom snuff - blimey
Mmmm…breathplay. Shame it has to end, really.






Castration lit
Oh go on.  Wives always love it when their husbands take an interest in their hobbies.

These magnificent creatures are from Planet Femdom.  And so are the ladies.


Working it out

 

 
 
Yes, what is it?  Well, I’ve got a little time.  This boy down here is being very slow.  Go ahead.
Oh yes. 
I did say I’d allow you a reasonable number of orgasms, didn’t I?  That was part of the deal.

All
right, so let’s work it out.  How old are
you?


46?  Are you? 
Silly old pervert.  It’s funny,
isn’t it, cos I’m just 19, and here you are letting me take charge?  I wasn’t even born when you were my age now. 

Oh
well, anyway.  So how long you’ve been
masturbating?  Since you were
thirteen?  Nasty little baby pervert, you
were back then.  Weren’t you?

I
asked you a question.

That’s
right: you were a nasty little baby pervert.

And
you’ll have had – what – six a week? 
No?  Maybe five?  Oh dear, can’t you?  Blimey, not exactly god’s gift to women were
you?  All right, call it four.

Well
go on – work it out.

Waiting.

Still
waiting!

33
times 52 times 4, yes.  Is…?

(Sigh)…yes,
you can use paper and a pen.  No – hang
on!  A pencil.  Off you go.

6864?  Are you sure? 
Cos I’ll check on a calculator later. 
And I’ll cane you the difference if you’ve got it wrong.


So…6864
sweaty nasty little orgasms, all on your own with a dirty magazine.  Yes?


Right.  Well that sounds like plenty to me.  I don’t think we need any more of those, do
we?


I
asked you a question.


That’s
right: we don’t need any more of them. 
So that’s that.


You’re going to have a lot of time on your hands, aren’t you?  I think we’ll have you write out some lines.  Like a naughty little schoolboy, caught playing with himself.  “Masturbation is a filthy habit and I am very grateful that my Lady has given me the opportunity to spend my time writing lines, instead of playing with myself.”  Got it? One hundred times. 

So how long will that take you?

Oh, no.  I think it’ll be longer than that.  A lot longer, I’d say. 

Well yes, obviously it’s 100 lines per wank.  You need to be punished for each, don’t you? 

I asked you a – that’s better.

Of you go, then.  Get yourself some paper and get on with it.  Plenty to do.

Tell you what, when I’m 46 I might let you have a celebratory wank,
OK?  If you remind me.  And if you can still get it up when you’re 70.


Or I might not.  I’ll have to think about it. Plenty of time.



(The Lady in the picture, by the way, is Lady Sophia Black and she is just as beautiful as these pictures suggest and twice as creative and evil as the little story above pretends.  She is, in short, wonderful.)

Your obedient servant

What's Portuguese for 'dominatrix'?

Don't governesses have neat handwriting?

Who are these people?  Why don’t they even need to address the postcards?  Or in Her case, affix a stamp? I have no idea, sorry.

***UPDATE*** I have added the text of the two postcards ‘in plain’, because I guess they’re unreadable.  I’ve kept the font, but you should be able to copy and paste into somthing ugly like Arial if you like.

Sorry about that.  If anyone wants to suggest an appropriate measure of correction, just in case I’m not sorry enough?  Hmmm….?

From him to Her:

Dear Mistress
i am having a lovely time in Brazil, at the ressort You booked.  There are a lot of other men here, some sentenced to staying just a few weeks like me, others for life rather longer.  I have marked my room with ‘X’. I spend a lot of time there.
But I go outside too.  Sometimes i lie in the sun for hours at a time, not moving a muscle!  Sometimes I just run round and round the yard. i’ve been getting quite red in the sun (and out of it), and i’m certainly getting an all-over tan!  But i’m not just layzing around!  Every morning, we all go  for a good healthy run, followed by a brisk outdoor shower.  The guards staff here like to keep us on our toes (or occasionally off them)!  There are three shifts, so there is always plenty on duty.

So, thank You again for forcing me to booking my stay here.  You were quite right – i ’ve really learnt a lot about myself, here, especially about my own self-worth.  i won’t say “wish You were here”, but i certainely wish i was with You right now!

Yours (truly!)  Servitor

From Her to him:

servitor
I received your postcard.  I was a little surprised that it had taken you so long to write.  Perhaps the staff were keeping you too busy!  I’ll call them, to ask.
I was pleased to hear how you have been getting on.  I was distinctly less pleased to count three spelling mistakes, a grammatical error and no fewer than eight crossings-out! In your next few postcards, I ‘suggest’ you should endeavour to correct the spelling errors, repeatedly (the usual count!).
Other errors will have to wait until your return.  I have made a note, and we shall discuss them with Mrs Lochgelly and Miss Rattan, whom I expect you remember well.
Finally, you really do not need to inform me about your activities, as you know I receive a full weekly report.  Simply express thanks.
I remain
your Mistress
Verified by MonsterInsights