tall – Contemplating the divine

She’s right on this one

And all the other ones.

Scurrying skills required, I’d say.

Obviously, in dental play she avoids doing anything for which you need years of specialised training. Using anaesthetic, for instance, which can be quite dangerous if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, so she wisely never tries it.

Miss Chambers of Cruella, of course – and although it’s not in the foreground, it is in profile so once again, I will obsessively draw your attention to that lovely nose. Cleopatra has nothing on Miss Chambers. Now go and buy Andy’s stuff before he changes his mind about selling it online!

Well that’s hardly difficult.

Just for once, the queue for the ladies’ isn’t that bad but she’s always wanted to try this.

That’s the thing about a visit to OWK – it helps you confront your irrational fears and replace them with rational ones.

‘All men are equal’ – sure. I can get behind that. But that’s about as far as it goes.

A woman’s right to choose

It’s very important, in so many areas of life.

That’s so unfair! I have specific unfulfilled perverted desires. A great many of them, covering a wide range of activities, true, but I know what I like and I know I’m not allowed it.

She mostly doesn’t mind him being small. The first time she tried kneeing him in the balls, she had to crouch down, but then she discovered she could easily lift him up off the ground and just hold him squirming there while kneeing him repeatedly, so they got over that difficulty.

Makes a change from being put out in the kennel.

It’s silly to pay for public humiliation play when you can get it for free from almost any girl by going up to her and trying a chat-up line.

Apparently theatres love booking them because there’s always a queue of male ‘groupies’ at the stage door, eager to come in and tidy and clean everything up after the post-show party.

How exciting – and unexpected – to imagine Scarlett watching a movie all about you! Hope she enjoys it… I’m sure she will; her body guard knows what she likes and he’s done this before.

Idol thoughts

Think of what a relief it must be, not to be in any danger of suffering one of those unwanted and embarassing erections during the shoot. It just helps keep things professional, as they should be (although not ‘professional’ in the sense she’s actually paying you, obviously).

Everyone laughed at me when I bet on him, but I think I could be making a lot of money here!

My SO says gags really suit me and I can’t argue with that.

I expect you never imagined a woman like that would ever take an interest in you, did you? But she is – very – and so are all her friends.

Of course, they vary it a bit. Today he had a nice big empty bowl of cereal for breakfast, nothing soup for lunch and he has a big juicy nothingburger to look forward to for dinner.

Some men think that women who dress provocatively are just asking for it – you can easily spot them, these days, as they’re the ones walking around in t-shirts reading “Please kick me in the balls.”

Careless talk

Time for a chivalrous gesture.

No regrets. What you never have, you cannot lose.

Oh dear. Let’s hope he’s not too rough with her.

Only a few. She has more.

Many stepdaughters find the arrival of a new parent uncomfortable. Looks like she’s found a way to deal with that discomfort; indeed transfer it to you.