It’s not just Irene


“Well Holmes!” I expostulated as soon as we were ensconced
in the first class compartment, waiting for the train to depart.  “You certainly surprised us all this
time!  I was quite convinced the
Governess was the culprit”

Holmes nodded wearily. 
“A natural mistake to make” he replied, and opened a newspaper as if to
close the conversation.


“I mean, damn it all Holmes” I went on, determined not to
allow him to avoid explanations.  “Her
glove was found at the scene of the crime, the rope used in the hanging came
from her sash window, we found the bloodied knife in her room and on top of
everything, Sir Horace had recently changed his will leaving everything to her.”


Holmes put his paper down with some visible
irritation.  He seemed to be physically
discomforted, in addition to his usual irascibility.


“Indeed Watson.  But
as you know, I had a very long talk with the, erm, formidable Miss Huntingdon
in her schoolroom, and she explained everything to me very clearly.  Very clearly indeed.  I cannot breach her confidence to explain
why, but there is no question of her guilt. 
She was most persuasive.”


And he fell silent as if recalling a vivid memory, then shook his head and shifted nervously in his seat – and instantly, it seems, regretted it, as he
winced in some pain.


“This railway company is a disgrace.” he remarked.  “Singularly uncomfortable seats.”


“We could swap” I offered.  “Mine is well upholstered.”  But he refused with a curter shake
of his head.


“So…”  I mused.  “Suicide, after all.  But Holmes, how ever did Sir Horace hang
himself and stab himself several times, after
tying his own hands behind his back?  And
did you ever solve the mystery of the strange marks across his buttocks?”


“The English aristocrat is a remarkably creative animal,
Watson” Holmes remarked.  “Damn this seat”
– and he got up, wincing all the way.



“If you’ll excuse me, Watson” he remarked, I think I might
after all not accompany you all the way to London.  I cannot abandon Miss Huntingdon, at this
difficult time.  To lose her employer and
gain control of a household and vast fortune all in one week like that… the
poor woman will need a man’s guidance.  I
shall return to Castle Charingbourne.

And he left the compartment, leaving me to brood with my
thoughts.  One day, I decided, I would
make him tell the whole story, even if it had to be sealed for posterity to
learn its secrets at some later date. 
But a thought struck me, just as the train began to pull out of the
station, and I lowered the window and called out to the retreating Holmes, who
was standing pensively – but perhaps rather stiffly – on the platform.

“But dash it all, Holmes! 
Sir Horace was an unmarried man! 
Why employ a governess, if you have no children?”



But he did not – or would not – hear me or look in my direction, gazing instead almost longingly up the hill in the direction
of the great house, with the faintest smile playing across his lips. 

Timing is everything


So I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to try out Graham’s invention.  Of course, you can’t see, because it’s behind you and you’re strapped so very tightly across the whipping block.  But back there, the mechanical arm holding the cane is fully retracted, so the machine’s ready to strike.  When it does, the electric motor drives a small wheel into rapid motion, increasing tension for a second or two, before the arm is released and the cane lashes across your bottom.

It’s that little delay that makes it work, actually. Poor old Graham kept on trying and trying to propel the arm immediately to make the stroke, but you can never get enough force to get it to lash at the speed you need for a proper impact.  It took him ages to find a solution.  I was getting quite frustrated actually – he was probably getting more strokes from me manually than he was testing each day on the machine.  But that delay lets the speed build up and then – whoosh, and it cracks across your buttocks.  So you’ll hear a little whir for a second or so, before you hear the cane whistling through the air.  I’ve asked him to work on that whirring sound – it would be better if there weren’t any warning.  I’m sure he’ll be able to sort it out, with the right encouragement from me.  Still – it canes hard and that’s the main thing.

So after the stroke it winds back again, going a little bit up or down so it doesn’t keep caning the same spot.  Graham himself suggested that little feature, actually, after the first time I tried it on him.  Twelve on exactly the same spot makes you ever so sore.  He started work on the vertical motion straight away after that!  Anyway, I can set it to go steadily up or down, or just let it go randomly.

Oh, you’ll find out.  The pattern should be clear by stroke three or four or so.


I’m so pleased with this.  I mean, I’m not going to stop caning boys manually, obviously!  But sometimes it’s nice just to hand the job over.  And there’s something quite relentless and brutal about being caned by a machine… the way it just keeps going, no matter what you say or how piteously you cry or scream.  I mean, so do I of course, but boys still always start making a fuss after a while, in the hope that I’ll go easy on them.  Boys can be so stupid. Well, this machine takes that hope away.

You look worried!  No…maybe worried isn’t the right word.  You look terrified.  Well, so you should.  You’re getting twelve, good and hard – and I’ve already programmed them in.  Nothing you can do.

But you know, I haven’t told you about the cruellest feature yet.  Do you want to know?



I can programme the speed.  It can go at any speed I like.  So what do you think is about to happen, hmmm?

What?

No.  Oh for goodness’ sake.  You boys are so unimaginative.  You think that the worst thing I could do to you is to make it go as fast as possible?  Twelve strokes in quick succession – THWACKTHWACKTHWACKTHWACKTHWACK?

Well, it could do that.  And obviously that would be sheer hell – it would certainly make you scream.  But that’s not what I’ve done.  Quite the opposite.  Can’t you guess?

Between now and – oh about nine o’clock tonight – you’ll receive twelve strokes.  It’s just gone noon, so that’s about one every 45 minutes.  But they won’t come regularly.  The intervals have been set to be random – anything between 30 seconds and two hours.  You will get all twelve – you can depend on that.  But you’ll never know when the next one’s coming, as you wait there hour after hour.  Until you hear that little whir anyway… then you have a second or so to brace yourself.  It’ll be so much better when Graham’s sorted that out…

Yes, you see?  I thought you would.  It’s much worse than getting twelve all at once, isn’t it? 

Do you think the randomness makes it worse?  I wasn’t sure about that.  I like the thought that you’ll be on edge for all of that time, never knowing when – or precisely where – the next stroke will land.  But on the other hand, it might be nice some time to try spacing them evenly – say, one every hour.   And you could have a clock in front of you, watching the seconds counting steadily down.  Or no clock, and you’d be frantically estimating whether the hour is nearly up.  Maybe we’ll try that next time.

Hmm?  Oh, we’ve already started.  I switched it on about five minutes ago.  Every five minutes you have about a one in nine chance of a stroke.  It could have happened already. But it didn’t.  It will, though.  That’s certain: you’ve still got all twelve to go.  It could happen any second… or not for almost two hours… it’s just up to that little microchip.  Out of my control anyway, and certainly out of yours.

Hmm?  Yes, I know it’s cruel.  I am.

Anyway, it’s not much of a spectator sport, so I’m going to go about my day and leave you to it.  Don’t worry, I’m not leaving the house, so I’ll be able to hear you scream from time to time.  You’ll be quite secure here, though.  And if you start to feel thirsty – and I think you will, if you keep sweating like that, or if you start crying – just remember that it’s supposed to be a punishment and you deserve it.

See you.

Oh – you know, I just had a thought.  Maybe instead of designing out the little whirring sound, Graham could design it in!  So that – I don’t know – about five times out of six or so, there’s the sound but no stroke.  Wouldn’t that be fun?  I’ll have to have a word with him.

Enjoy the rest of the day.


  The lady here is of course the formidable and beautiful (and formidably beautiful) Mistress Cassie Hunter, The Hunteress.  Visit her web site if you’re feeling interested and want to see more, visit her in person if you’re feeling guilty and need to suffer.

Long wait

Hi!  Just thought I’d
pop back and check how you were doing in there.

Listen – I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. 


You must have wondered if I was ever coming back!


But you know how it is – with one thing and another, I’m
afraid it just slipped my mind.  I was
just going to come and see how you were doing but then I had a call from one of
my girlfriends.  Chloe – haven’t seen her
for years.  Inviting me to go to Thailand
with her!  Just out of the blue!  So I went for two months. – really
brilliant. 

 
And anyway, after that I had
to go off for the residential section of my course…
…and then it was Christmas,
and I went to see my Mum, so… just one thing after another really.  I know it’s been a while.

What?  No of course
I’m not going to let you out!  Actually,
I haven’t even brought the key with me, so you can forget about that.


But I have got a lovely surprise for you!  Because I expect you’ve been feeling a bit
cooped up and frustrated all this time.

 
Can you guess what it is?
Pictures of me
in Thailand!  Oh – I had such a great time.

I’ll just top up your food hopper,  then I’ll show them to you.  Don’t go away!

Images are from the rather lovely Pupstail website.  Good boy! 

New boy

It’s, erm… Roger isn’t it?

‘Robin!’ Yes of course. Well, Robin, I’m sorry I haven’t
been around much on your first day. Busy, busy. Everyone treating you OK?

Great. Do come to me if anything’s worrying you, OK? My
door’s always open, even to the most junior boy on the team.

Listen, Roger, I want you to know that I’m not one of those
bosses who thinks only women can do the important jobs, OK? I’m very keen to
give boys a chance. Boys can do very well in this company – and they brighten
the place up, too! Anyway, I’m totally opposed to sexism and discrimination in
the workplace, OK? Everybody in the team is worthy of respect for who they are.
Even boys. Especially boys.

So don’t take this the wrong way. But you could maybe dress
a bit more… smartly, hmm? Maybe show yourself off to a bit more advantage. A
nice pair of smart white shorts, for example. Not too baggy – maybe even a size
or too smaller than the trousers you’re wearing. Nice close fit…

Great. I’m sure you’ll get on very well here Roger. Sorry –
I mean Robin, don’t I? Robin. Must remember that.

Now – how about a cup of tea for the boss? Milk and a
sweetener.

Thanks Roger.

Fuss


Yeah, it was a bit weird, actually.  I mean, I thought I’d enjoy it, but actually
I found it kind-of disturbing, you know?
I hadn’t told him what was going to
happen, of course, but he figured it out as soon as we got to the clinic, and
he was panicking and trying to get away. 
Honestly, if I hadn’t thought to have him on the leash, I think he really would
have run out onto the street.  Fortunately, the nurses
there are very good – I mean, they see this sort of thing a lot.  So they soon had him strapped down, but he
was still screaming hysterically and pleading – all “Oh God, Mistress, please
don’t do it, I’ll do anything!”  You
know?
And then we had a long wait for the
doctor to get round to him, and it’s amazing, he was shrieking and crying the
whole time.  I had to step out and go for
a little walk in the fresh air.  He’d
calmed down a bit when I got back, but then the doctor arrived and started
getting the knives out, you know, and it all started up again.  Honestly, I think he made more fuss while he
was lying there waiting, then he did when she started cutting!  And you know what he’s like with pain.  Always has been – he screamed the place down
on our wedding night.
Anyway, all done eventually.
I hope this one’ll be easier when I take
him in.  I made him watch when I punished
the other one for embarrassing me in front of the doctor like that.  So he should be more co-operative.
But we’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose.
Do you fancy a cup of tea?

Girls’ night out


So, yeah, if you’re up for it we thought we’d meet up about
9.  Just you, me, Suzie, Ellie, Karen…
Vanessa said she might come, but she wanted to bring her boyfriend and we
really just wanted a girls night out.  So
I told her it’s a ’no boys’ evening, and she said she’ll think about it.
Well…yes, OK, technically you’re a boy too.  But that’s OK – you don’t count.  I mean you’re not really a boy boy, are
you?  Not like a boyfriend boy!  Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
No, of course you can come. 
None of the other girls will mind. They don’t think of you in that way at all.
Hey, do you remember that time that guy tried to pick me up,
and then he got all confused because he thought maybe you were with me?  God, I was just laughing too much to explain
it – and he went off with his mates! 
Such a shame – he was a real hunk. 
Still, I think I managed to score a bit later didn’t I..?  Can’t remember his name – you know, they guy
with the tattoo?  You drove us home.
Oh, that reminds me. 
You don’t mind being the non-drinking driver again, do you?
Thanks, that’s great. 
We can go to that bar where they do the lemonade you really like. But
we’ll have to be strict to keep to our ‘no boys’ rule, though!  There’s always loads of cute studs in there!
Brilliant.  Oh – and
can you come round about 8.30?  I want to
show you this new outfit I got.  You’ll
love it!

Taking responsibility



Mr Carter?

Oh – you prefer “Billie”?  OK – hi Billie.

I don’t know if you remember me?  I’m your anaesthetist.

Anaesthetist.  Do you know what an anaesthetist is?

No?  Well – do you remember before you went to sleep?  You were on a trolley, and you went off to surgery?  Big room… lots of medical equipment?

That’s right!  I’m the one who talked to you just before you went to sleep!

‘The pretty one’?  Oh, am I?  That’s a nice thing to say!

Well, anyway, I just wanted to be the first to let you know, that there was a little bit of a problem, while you were asleep.  I did a silly thing.  I might have given you just a bit too much gas.  And of the wrong sort.  So –

No, not like the gas they put in balloons.  Well, maybe a bit like that, but –

No, you’re not going to blow up like a balloon.  These were gases that affect your brain.

Brain.

Yes, you do have a brain.  Everyone has a brain.  It’s where you do your thinking!

Are you?  Thinking about me, and how pretty I am?  What – right now?  How sweet.  But don’t touch yourself down there, Billie, OK?  It’s not nice.

Anyway, you see, I gave you a bit too much of some of the gas.  And it’s made your brain go a bit funny.  You’re going to find thinking a bit harder from now on, that’s all.

Well, yes, I suppose it is still easy to think about how pretty I am.  Aren’t you sweet?  But do you remember what we said about not touching yourself down there?  Right.

Look, anyway, I’ve got a piece of paper here, you see?  It says ‘waiver’ on the top?

No, it’s not for waving.  It’s for signing.  You see?  There – where it says ‘William Carter’.  That’s where you sign your name. 

Yes, I know you can’t remember how to sign.  But if you take the pen – no, other way round, that’s right – and then put the pointy end onto the paper, there might be some residual autonomic motor functions, that –

Well, never mind what all that means, Billie, just SIGN THE FUCKING DOCUMENT!

That’s good.  Very good.  Oh thank God for that.

Oh – don’t cry.  I’m sorry I got cross, OK?

Let me just put this document somewhere very safe.

Listen, Billie, I think it’s probably best if you don’t go home on your own, OK?

Really?  Oh.  It’s worse than I thought.  Yes, well if you can’t remember where it is, I suppose it’s even more important that you go and live somewhere else.

I was thinking… would you like to come and live with me?  And my friend Julie.  You could help clean up around the apartment, and maybe –

Is she as pretty as me?  Well, I suppose she is.  She’s quite a lot taller than me… and very strong.  But she doesn’t like men very much, so perhaps at first you should be a bit careful around her.

Billie!  What did we say about touching yourself down there?  If you do that again, I’ll be really cross, and I’ll…um…

What’s that?  Don’t mumble!

‘Smack your bottom’?  Well, yes, I probably will smack your bottom.  So don’t do it, OK?  Or I’ll smack your bottom.  Really hard.

I think I’m going to get something to stop you touching it, unless I say so, all right?  That’ll help a bit with Julie, too.

So – do you want to come and live with me and Julie?  That’s great. In that case, you just need to sign another document –

– here –

oh clever you!  You remembered to use the pointy end!

 I think you’ll be very happy living with us. As long as you do everything you’re told, OK?  Or else, I’ll have to –

– that’s right!  Smack your bottom!  And –

err…, no Julie probably won’t smack your bottom.  Well, I dunno, she might.  But she’d probably do something much worse.  Really, you do not want to annoy Julie.  OK?  She can get very cross, and I think she might hurt you if she does.

And Julie might be annoyed at first about you coming to live with us.  But I’ll talk to her about it, OK?  It was my fault you got so much of the gas that stops you thinking, so I thought I should take responsibility. And if you stay in my apartment all the time, maybe no one will ask any questions about you either.  I think Julie will understand.

Hmm?  Well, I’m not surprised you don’t understand.  Not after that dose.  It’s surprising you have any functioning brain cells left.  (Sigh)  Well, don’t worry.  I’m going to be doing all your thinking for you from now, OK?  You just have to do everything I say.

Right, come on then.  I think we can just go right away – my car’s in the parking lot downstairs.

No, you don’t need any special clothes.  Your gown’s fine.

Oh yes, don’t worry about that.  I’ll say goodbye to the nurses for you, OK?  Actually, it’s a bit of a secret you’re coming to live with me!  Isn’t that exciting?  Can you keep a secret?  Great.  Well, just don’t say anything to anyone on the way out, OK?

Then once you’re in my apartment, I’ll make sure you can’t accidentally wander off and get lost, OK?

I don’t know – some sort of leash, I expect.

Come on. 

 

Welcome home, Billie

The dignity of labour



Hi honey!

Listen – I was talking to my accountant the other day, and I was telling him all about how humiliated you feel, out of work all this time, and entirely dependent on me – and he –

– Oh don’t be silly. I don’t have secrets from my accountant! –
Anyway – he had the most brilliant idea! He said, why don’t I set up a company and employ you! I mean, I can easily afford it. I get paid more money for one day’s filming than you used to earn in a year, after all! It’s nothing to me, really. Just loose change.

Hmm? Oh I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter what you do, does it? He said he could run up some meaningless forms, and you can spend the day filling them in or something.

And he’s found an office across town where you can do it. Quite a way off – you’ll be commuting for a few hours each day. Just like having a real job! Isn’t that exciting?

Oh no, too late to pull out now. He’s already bought the office block. It was just a few millions, and apparently there’s some kind of tax dodge so it doesn’t really cost me anything.

And he’s already found someone we can pay to be your boss. Hmmmm? Oh, I don’t know. Some awful sweaty old guy, I think. He’ll be on your case all the time, apparently. That way, it’ll feel more like you’re really earning your money, won’t it?

So – you’ll have your own money, and you won’t have to depend on me for everything! Won’t that be great? Minimum wage, of course, but we’ll get a performance management system set up, so maybe you can earn bonuses and promotions for working extra hard – that kind of thing.
Of course you can still live here, sweetie! But I’m going to charge you rent!  So you’ll feel really independent and self-sufficient.  And I’ll tell the maids to stop cleaning your room.

But I still get to buy you presents, OK? You’ll let me do that?

Great. Maybe I can keep on choosing your clothes, just like now. I like doing that.
Hmm? No, you don’t need to buy new clothes for the job. You have a cute little uniform. It says “Hathaway Enterprises” on it. Isn’t that sweet?

And if there’s ever anything you really want to buy – that you can’t afford – you can always ask.  You know that don’t you?  It’s not as if the money means anything to me, but for you it’ll be a big deal, now you’re paying for yourself, won’t it?  So maybe when I do buy you things, now they’ll be that much more special!

Oh, no, don’t worry about that, darling!  Like I said – it’s really just pocket change for me!  If I just do one more commerical in Japan, or something like that, apparently it’s enough to employ you 9-5 every day for the next ten years!  Isn’t that amazing?  So don’t worry about the money – I know it seems like a lot to you, but it’s nothing for me, nothing at all.  The important thing is that we need to build up your self-respect!  That’s all that matters!

Just think how proud you’ll feel in a year’s time, if you’ve worked hard and I give you a pay rise!

Extra duty


Hey honey.  How are you?

Oh – yeah, well quite a day. You know we’ve got this terrorist suspect? Well, I was in charge of his interrogation this morning, and he broke completely – but he hadn’t done anything! I mean, I made quite sure. We had a full three-hour session, and he was screaming and begging and pleading for mercy, almost from the start. You know?  I’d already learnt everything before I even started on the second fingernail! He was completely innocent.  Of course, I had to do the rest, and the other stuff as usual – got to do it by the book!

Apparently he was only here because some ex-girlfriend of his was cross with him or something, so she tipped off the security police that he was plotting to bomb a bridge.  It’s really silly, the way they’ll just bring someone in for that sort of thing!  Such a waste of all of our time – and his life and career of course!  Apparently, he was some sort of computer programmer, and I don’t suppose you can do that without fingers.  I think someone should have a word with that ex-girlfriend of his.

So I reported at lunchtime that he was innocent, and do you know, that silly old cow Colonel Travis wasn’t satisfied! Said she thought maybe the suspect was ‘holding out on me’ and maybe I needed to ‘be a bit harder’ on him. Ridiculous! I mean, I know when I’ve broken a man.

But anyway…orders are orders, so I had to go back and do a full afternoon session as well. You should have seen the look on the suspect’s face when I appeared at his cell door again! Shrieking in terror – frantically scrabbling at the walls to get away. He was desperately begging to be executed… especially when I said I wasn’t going to be as easy on him this time.  Poor thing.

Of course, I didn’t find out anything new. He confessed to everything in sight, of course, but it was just because he was so terrified. Especially when I started on his eyes – they always hate that.

Hmmm? Oh yes, he’s still alive. There’s not much left of him, of course. Anyway, Cow-nel Travis had gone when I finished, so I just left the report on her desk. If she has me go back and do him again in the morning I’m going to be so cross! Still – I left a few bits untouched, just in case I have to.

What?  No – not those bits!  Honestly, you men!  One track minds.  They came off early in the afternoon.  Shame – he was kind of cute.

Oh don’t be ridiculous!  How can you be jealous?  Quite apart from the fact that there’s not much of him left, I think he’d be too traumatised for the rest of his life even to speak to a woman, let alone –

Oh were you joking?  Sorry, honey.  I’m still just so keyed-up over having my professional judgement questioned like that.

Anyway…one of those irritating days. Grrr! 

How about we skip the movie, order a pizza and you can take away some of my tension…hmmm? 

Party animal


Oh, hey
loser!

Yeah, I did
want to see you.  Imagine that!  You, actually talking to me.

Anyway, I
heard you’d been, like, perving around trying to find out about my party, so
you can come to it?  But you know, it’s
only, like, for attractive people, so you can’t go?

Well… are
you really desperate to be there? 
Really?  I mean really desperate?

OK, that’s
pretty pathetic.  So I’m going to help
you out.

See, it’s
going to be a real blast.  There’s going
to be a lot of guys there, and they’re going to drink a lot and get pretty
blasted and there’ll be, like, drugs and stuff, you know?

So, the
place is going to be pretty trashed, and my folks have said that if I leave it
in that state again, I’m going to be grounded.

So – here’s
the deal.  You can come to the party, as
long as you’re not there too early, and as long as you clean up, OK?

How late?  Well… I
guess it would be OK for you to arrive by about 3am.  Most people should have gone by then.

Anyway, when
you get here, you go to the utility room and you put on an apron and get some
brushes and cloths and things and start cleaning up, OK?  There might still be some people partying by
then, but I guess most people will have gone, or they’ll be making out, or just
chilling, you know?  You can clean around
them.

So – the
first thing will be cleaning up all the food, and spilt drinks.  You can have leftovers, but no alcohol,
OK?  You’re a clumsy idiot when you’re sober, so I am not letting you drink.  And make sure you get any vomit
up straight away, because that smell can really linger.  Scrub at it with a stiff brush and plenty of water.

And you just
keep on cleaning until you’re done.  No
vacuum cleaner before I’m up next day, OK? 
If that thing wakes me up, I’m going to make you put your cock in it and
put it on turbo.  And our vacuum
cleaner’s really powerful, so you don’t want to make me do that.  Do not for one second imagine I’m joking.

You’ll have
all day, if you need it, to get it all straight again.  My folks are coming back early the day after.

OK, so
you’ll be there tomorrow night?  Good.
 
Well…?
 
Well?  Are you going to thank me for inviting you to my party, you ungrateful little shit?
 
OK, that’s better.  Now fuck off.

Oh – one
thing?  If my folks aren’t satisfied with
the way it looks?  And I’m grounded?  Then I will make you regret that every single
day for the rest of the year.  Do not
test me.

And if
anyone asks, tell them I’m paying you to clean, OK?  I don’t want them to think I invited
you.  In fact, bring some money that I
can hand you as your wages.

OK, you can leave now.
Verified by MonsterInsights