Category: squeaky toys

Sexual inequality

Oh, those grabber machines… they can be such an exercise in frustration.
Their buy-one-get-one-free offers are pretty good, but they had to abandon their no-questions-asked policy on taking back damaged goods, as too many dommes were abusing it.
You’ve got to be careful with the wording of hard limit lists. For example, mine rules out blow torch play, but it turns out welding arcs are actually hotter! Oh well, live and learn.
It’s easy to tell them apart – his helmet reads ‘other gimp’.
It might all sound complicated but actually, it’s a lot easier to learn Czech than… well: refusing to learn Czech. You’ll see. Don’t worry about making grammatical and other mistakes at first: the ladies expect that; in fact they rather enjoy pointing out those little errors.
The trutch can be painful, but not usually quite as painful as lies.

Fairy tale romances

A purpose for your life – at last!



Magic mirror seems to understand his place, anyway.  I’m sure her fairy tale prince will learn the same lesson – possibly even with the threat of the same hammer.



Stand up for yourself!  Who’s the boss in this relationship anyway?

Cruella of course.  Still going strong.  And a bit of a change of scene from the bleak Northern landscapes, as some of their lovely ladies got to go to Spain recently, thank goodness.



She’s trying to make the best of it… why can’t you?

 

No spoilers… but I can tell you she’s determined to live happily ever after.

 

 

 

 

Contemptuous liaisons

 

Looks like only one person in this relationship is making any effort.  That’s not a formula for long-term happiness.


 

 

Why are so many women so imprecise when it comes to numbers?  They say things like “only for a few hours” , “in a few weeks’ time”, “a few dozen, and then maybe the same on your thighs”…  when did ‘few’ start to have such painful connotations?

 

 

 

She’s a perfectionist.  I hope you are, too.

 

 

 

The teddy bear is only a temporary expedient while she buys you a blow-up sex doll.  She’s just trying to choose between the ‘Sven’ and ‘Muscle Man’ models.

 


She makes a compelling argument, you have to admit.


 

 

 

 

 

 

When sorry is the hardest word to say

or at least, as hard as any other word except “NNNNggghh!  NNNnngghh!  NNghh  nnngghh NNNGGHHHH!”

Femdom lesbian suffocation oh my!
Don’t worry, it’s not like they’re going to kill you. Just inflict permanent brain damage. 


Caned when required
She’s working to make this marriage a success – maybe you could give a little too?  Y’know, occasionally hand her the cane and bend over even without an order?  It’s those little things that matter.


SQUEEAK!
She’s always been playful. There was the time she made him grind his own face in dogshit only to discover it was a trick: fake poo.  And that other time, when it wasn’t.


Cruel heartless domme - whats not to love?
I think she looks cold.  Don’t you think she looks cold?  I’ve been looking at all that exposed flesh for a while, and I’m pretty sure she looks cold.  Especially the buttocks…and those long, firm thighs, and…


Tart with a heart?
I should point out that this is just a work of fiction on my part.  I have never, ever paid a prostiute for sex.  They always hand the money back when we get undressed, and say they’re not in the mood.  Of course, I respect their decision but what are the odds, eh?  Seven ladies in a row!  Just my luck.
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