spanking – Page 11 – Contemplating the divine

Consequences

A ‘turning points’ story.

Darling, can we talk about last night? About the party?

Yes, I know you had a bit too much to drink. That’s what I want to talk about.

No, you were fine. Just a little tipsy. Not like Mark. You weren’t being drunk or embarrassing, or anything like that. I just wanted to talk to you about the game.

The game of ‘consequences’, of course. Have you forgotten playing? We did one round, just before the Saxtons went home.

I’ve got all the strips of paper here, you see? I got them out of the wastepaper bin. Now – you had a blue pen, didn’t you?

Oh don’t try to pretend darling, yes you did, I know you did.

Right, so let’s have a look, shall we? Hmm…let me see. I’ll just unfold them. That one’s OK, you went first but um…yes! What about this one? I’ll read it out.

“President Obama” met “Humphrey the Cat” in “a cattle market in Australia”. He said to her “There are better cakes in Portsmouth” (that’ll be Mark, of course. Anyway, doesn’t matter.) She said to him “That’s six of the best with my cane – pull your shorts down!” And the consequence was “the Bee Gees reformed and released a Garage album.”

You don’t remember which of those was yours? OK, let’s try another.

“Mr Tickle” met “a strict headmistress, flexing her cane menacingly”, in “Transylvania”. He said to her – well, it doesn’t really matter, does it? I do recognise my husband’s handwriting.

Or this.

“Adam Ant” met “Seven of Nine” in “Cardiff”. He said to her “the flowers that bloom in the spring, trala, have nothing to do with the case”. She said to him “Because reasons”. And the consequence was “She put him across her knee, and spanked his naughty bottom until it glowed.”

Honestly, I could have died of embarrassment when we read them all out. Mark whispered to Gerry that you should be sent to bed early with a smacked bottom! And everyone heard him. Everyone except you, apparently.

If it was just a joke, it was a very silly one. But perhaps there’s something we need to discuss, is there, darling? Because if you want me to put you across my knee and spank your naughty bottom until it glows, believe me – you’ve picked a very good day to find out what it feels like!

High achiever

Listen – I’ve been thinking. It must be really boring and demotivating for you, just doing your household duties all day long. Just drudgery for 14 hours a day – for the rest of your life, really, with no prospect of ever moving on to anything more rewarding.

So I was thinking maybe you needed more incentives to keep at it and do a good job for me!

No honey, calm down. I don’t mean I’m going to punish you more. I mean, sure, being whacked on your sore old bottom with my paddle probably gives you a pretty strong incentive not to mess up. But it’s still only a negative incentive – when you do a bad job. I was thinking you need positive incentives to do a good job!

No, not that kind of positive incentive, honey. I don’t let you do that any more, remember?

So, anyway, I had this brilliant idea! Achievements!

Achievements, honey. Like in video games?

Oh yeah, I forgot. You’ve been a few years in my service now, haven’t you? They probably didn’t have achievements when you were still free to do fun stuff like computer games.

Well, ‘achievements’ are like bonuses for doing extra things in the game or doing really well. You have to meet a certain set of conditions and then you get awarded the achievement! Like ‘Kill 100 orcs with bladed weapons’ and then maybe you’d get an achievement called “Orc-cleaver” or something, you know?

Well, no, you don’t get anything else, honey. Just the achievement. But it gives you something to work towards, you see? I think it’s perfect for you! I was so pleased when I thought of it. I guess I’m channelling my inner geek girl.

What’s that honey? No, of course you don’t have a choice. And if I don’t see you working towards your achievements, we’ll just have to try more of the negative incentives, won’t we?

That’s better. OK, here’s your first list of achievements. Don’t try to work towards all of them at once. Just pick a few –some are harder than others. Once you get all these, I’ll do you another list, OK?

Tight fit: perform a day’s work in a corset tightened three inches narrower than usual.

Ironic: Iron more than 50 items of clothing in a single day.

Irony: Iron more than 100 items of clothing in one day.

Bad maids get spanked: Admit to a fault that leads to a spanking.

Bad maids get paddled: Admit to a fault that leads to a paddling.

Bad maids get caned: Admit to a fault that leads to a caning.

Those who wait: complete chores with three hours to spare and spend the remainder of the day in the corner.

Her wish is my command: bring Mistress something she wanted before being commanded to do so.

Friend or enema: complete all daily chores while holding in three quarts.

Silence is bronze: no speech except in response to a direct question for a week.

Silence is silver: no speech except in response to a direct question for a month.

Silence is golden: no speech except in response to a direct question for a year.

Spit-roast: take one of Mistress’s boyfriends at each end.

Whole hog: Do two consecutive spit-roasts, with changed ends.

My special place: spend 8 hours standing in the corner without looking around.

Weekend place: spend 24 hours standing in the corner without looking around.

Shameful duty: appear in full maid’s costume in front of someone from your ‘previous life’.

Shameful discipline: be punished in front of someone from your ‘
previous life’.

Rain man: learn every telephone number in Mistress’s contacts.

Asking for it: request a stroke-for-stroke repetition of a paddling, immediately after it finishes.

Begging for it: request a stroke-for-stroke repetition of a caning immediately after it finishes.

Happy Hubby: Have a perky smile on your face every time Mistress sees you, for a week.

Rash decision: wear the same pair of diapers and plastic pants for three days in a row, without a change.

Bad scrubber: Clean the kitchen floor to Mistress’s satisfaction without once getting up off your knees.

Better scrubber: Clean the kitchen floor to Mistress’s satisfaction with hands tied back, and the brush between your teeth.

Good scrubber: Clean the kitchen floor to Mistress’s satisfaction using your hair as the brush.

Recycler: eat nothing but Mistress’s leftovers for a week.

Know what’s good for you: request a spanking for no reason.

Know what’s better for you: request a paddling for no reason.

Know what’s best for you: request a caning for no reason.

Cum-bucket: hold a boyfriend’s semen in your mouth all night without swallowing or spitting.

Sleep is for wimps: Perform housework for 24 hours without a break.

Dog-tired drudge: Perform housework for 48 hours without a break.

Remorseful: write a letter of apology to every woman with whom you have ever had sex.

Making amends: clean the apartment or house of a former girlfriend in maid outfit.

Revenge is bitter: receive corporal punishment from a former girlfriend.

Because she says so: Self-administer a whipping that draws blood.

Party animal: be the only ashtray at one of Mistress’s cocktail parties.

Potty mouth: Don’t spill a drop.

The role of the geek girl in this little tale was played by the lovely, smiley, dancey Emily Ratajkowski.

Evil women doing horrible things to men

(I read somewhere that blog posts should have clear, factual titles to attract traffic. And what could be more attractive than that title?)

Not that it really matters how he reacts, once the padlock’s on.

It’s often the simple things we men find most difficult.

Hmmm. “If you didn’t want X, you shouldn’t have Y”. Can’t think where I read that before, Servitor.

Well, I think it’s sweet. In a slightly psychotic kind of way.

Yup. Crying’s good. Also screaming in frustration. It all helps pass the time. Actually, the chap pictured behind her there just squats down all day, gently rocking backwards and forwards and moaning in a steady rhythm. Hey – it gets him through the day, you know?

Sub-shaming

It’s a strangely self-defeating exercise, because we love it.

That’s kind of her. Not exactly a sympathy fuck… more of a pitiful wank. But the principle’s the same.

Kinda scary. Yeah.

I hold that truth to be self-evident.

OK, now that would be humiliating. And not in a good way. Well…maybe a little bit good…mmmm.

It’s uncanny. It’s almost as if she knows me. Do you think I should go and hang around her house in Beverly Hills… see if fate somehow brings us together?

Erectile disfunction

I got an email about dealing with erectile disfunction. I know they’re probably just spam, but I like to think the best of people, and I was willing to give it a go. At least it made a change from all those emails I get suggesting various ways of enhancing my penis size (sometimes I wish I’d never given my mother my email address, I really do).

Anyway, it said that lots of men experience periods of erectile disfunction, but if I wrote off describing the circumstances in which I…. err.. failed to rise to the occasion, as it were, world-famous doctors were waiting to advise me.

Well, as you can imagine, I was quite excited, and I wrote back at great length describing how I usually experience quite long periods of erectile disfunction shortly after annoying my Significant Other, for example by failing to iron her blouse properly, or over-cooking the pasta. But that I also find it difficult to achieve an erection when she’s just in a bad mood because she’s busy at work, or its her time of the month, or something like that. The email asked me to describe in detail the longest period of disfunction I’d had, so I sent them Time magazine’s review of the year for 2013.

And they never replied! I mean, can you believe it? I sent email after email, and eventually I just received an automatic response informing me that the server in Nigeria where they were based was blocking my address.

Isn’t the Internet a weird place, eh? Oh well. Here are some more pictures of pretty ladies looking threatening, so we can get sexually aroused by the thought of being punished and humiliated by them. Good wholesome stuff.

Beware of dominatrices with ‘strong views’

Now I believe this is Mistress Annabelle. But if it isn’t, perhaps she or the lady it happens to be could, err, correct me. Please?

I don’t know who he is, I’m afraid. Or if he’s available for sessions.

Domestic bliss.

You think?

This of course is the wonderful and creative (and scary!) Mistress Sidonia, of the English Mansion.

It’s ironic, really, as Alanis Morisette might say.

More from the English Mansion. And I think this is Mistress Jessica Wood.

Dear me, she seems a little fierce. Most young brides wait until after the wedding before giving their husbands their first proper birching. Still, maybe she’ll become more tolerant and forgiving of her husband’s faults when you’re married. Some brides do. Many don’t.

Iterated domination

I took a course in game theory once. I was doing fine, but in the final exam there was a question about about ‘the prisoners’ dilemma under strictly dominated strategies’ … and for some reason after that I started thinking about something else, I just couldn’t concentrate and it all went wrong. I managed to scrape a passing grade by sucking up to the examiner, but that’s another story again.

More captioned images of female domination. I know you know, but the search engines need constant reminders, poor dears.

Women, eh? When they say they ‘want a talk’ it usually means we’ve done something wrong, doesn’t it? Oh well… better let the little woman have her say, or we’ll never hear the end of it!

The image, of course, is from a very wonderful Cruella photoshoot from…oh, at least twenty years ago.

Yes, Ma’am, that spanking has made me think. Is there anything in particular you’d like me to think? Just say – I’ll think it.

This lovely lady is Miss Audrey Knight. No idea who he is. Some bloke.

I don’t know how she catches so many. Yet there aways seem to be more when she locks you in the basement for the night.

Multitasking… it’s a woman thing.

Another Cruella shoot, more recent.

You’re not a sweaty loser are you? No, didn’t think so. And I’m not a creepy pervert. So that’s all right, then.

Disciplined loving

She’s right, you know. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. And in any case, a man should fear his wife, I think, don’t you?

Actually, that’s a bit surprising. Because I seem to remember her saying with a giggle once that she’d heard one of her new freinds had a soundproofed rape room in his basement. Oh well… maybe that was someone else.

Think fast. The tip of the whip can move at over 100 mph.

This is Lady Victoria from Cruella (and from a long time ago

– thank you for the adolescent memories, Mr Rogue-Hagen and Ladies).

We all say things we regret, from time to time. It’s part of married life.

That’s a relief. Let’s hope she ticked the ‘anaesthetic’ option. She can be so forgetful.

Fedmom capyions

Just for all those of you too excited at the thought of all these pictures of dominant ladies to type into Google correctly.

One of the most common search terms for people finding this blog is “Contemplating the devine”. No. Just no. Write it out correctly 500 times, and then go and see Miss Hardcastle, boy!

On we go.

Where else could you be?

Clue: the right answer is “Yes” or, better, “Yes, Mistress”. Don’t worry – you can always borrow the money if you haven’t got it!

Men say the oddest things sometimes. That’s why sensible wives don’t let them speak without permission.

The safeword is your credit card number.

You have laugh really, eh? All those bitter tears of loss… Over someone else’s balls. Funny. Isn’t it?

By the way, I shall be on holiday for about the next two and a half weeks. The blog will continue to update itself twice a week via the magic of ‘scheduler’ *. But if I don’t respond to your comment for a few weeks, it’s not because I am rude, or too lazy to do so**, it’s just because I’m not really here. But I’d like you to keep commenting anyway…

*actually, to tell the truth most of the captions and stories these days are produced using an AI script anyway, which is why they are so repetitive and formulaic. The real ‘Servitor’ died of shame about six months ago. Nobody cared.

** unless of course you are a representative of the ruling gender, in which case my failure to reply is a sign of laziness and rudeness, and I hope you’ll be taking appropriate disciplinary measures to deal with this disgracefully impertinent behaviour.

Caller display

Do you remember we talked about keeping quiet during
punishment? And we practiced last time?

Right. Well here’s
the test. You’re going to kneel on the
stool over there, in front of the computer on that table. You’re going to log onto your Skype account –
no, not the NaughtyTrevor you use to contact me, your real one – and you’re
going to Skype someone at work.

What is it you’re supposed to be doing today? A conference, was it? Right.
You can tell them all about the conference. What is it supposed to be
about? “Budgeting software”? Good.

So who can you call at the office?

Henry?
Oh, I don’t think so. Any women?

“Tracy”? Who’s
Tracy? Your secretary? Is she?
Well, what an important person you must be, to have Tracy for your
secretary. I hope you’re always polite
and respectful to her. Maybe we can talk
about that another time.

Right, so you’re going to call Tracy and tell her all about
the conference on budgeting software.
And while you’re talking, I’ll be standing a bit to the side with the
hairbrush.

And from time to time I’ll smack your bare bottom with
it. Every time I hear the word
‘conference’ or ‘presentation’ or ‘software’ or ‘budgeting’…let’s see, or ‘office’ –
from you or Tracy you’re getting a smack.
And sometimes you’ll get a smack anyway,
just because I feel like it.
Don’t worry – the mike doesn’t pick up sounds from far away. But it will pick it up if you squeal, or
grunt or anything like that, won’t it?
So you’d better be very calm while you’re spanked… just like we
practiced. Calmer, in fact.

Now, the call doesn’t end until I say so. If Tracy starts to hang up, just
change the subject or ask about something.
If it ends before I give permission, we’re going to do it again, only
this time it’ll be your mother you’re calling and it’ll be the cane.

Oh – one more thing. Somehow you have to work the word ‘hairbrush’ into the conversation? You have to say it at least once, in a context that makes sense. Got it?

What do you mean, what happens if you don’t? What usually happens if you disobey an order of mine?

That’s right.

Now pull your trousers down, and get up on the stool.

Good. And log into Skype…

…and call Tracy. I’m sure she will want to hear all about the interesting presentations <SMACK> at the conference <SMACK> on budgeting <SMACK> software <SMACK>.

Oh dear. I hope you’re going to do better than that on the call. Otherwise Tracy might – ah, it’s ringing!

Come on Tracy…

…maybe she’s away from her desk…?

…is there anyone else, you can – ooop!

“Hello? Oh, is that Trevor? Wow – the picture’s really clear. How’s the conference?”

<SMACK!>

…

The lady, of course, is the wonderful Cassie Hunter, a lady whose demeanor, look and personality together press more of my buttons than I can possibly count. I can scarcely imagine anything that would excite me more than the thought of a session with her… but my pain limits are actually so feeble, I can’t think of anything that would terrify me more than the reality of a session with her. Perhaps one day I’ll be bold – or reckless – enough to call…. In the meantime, though, there is her web site.

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.

It’s silly to worry about whether you’ll stretch enough. Look – that thing’s made of solid plastic, and it’ll have all her strength behind it. Something’s going to give, so just relax.

Sometimes it’s good to go out with your co-workers for a real heart-to-heart. And sometimes it isn’t.

Don’t worry – she’ll explain why at great length.

Schoolboy sessions! My favourite. We’re going to be covering irregular verbs of the fourth declension over the next seven sessions, apparently. Pretty exciting, huh?

Or if you stray outside the permitted boundaries, of course.