Phone protocol




Lovemachine Serviceline, I’m Karen, how can I help?

It’s to do with your sexbot?  OK.  Is
there a problem?

No? 
Oh.  If there’s no problem then why did you…?

You just want to tell me how wonderful
your
sexbot
is?  Everything about her is perfect?  OK sir.  Well, that’s very nice. Now, if you don’t
mind, I’l
l – 

She’s a series 5800?  Wow. 
Top of the range, huh? No wonder you’re so pleased with her.

‘She’s beautiful and you’re a lucky man
even to be granted the privilege of licking her boots?’ 
Oh..kay
I think maybe I’m getting the idea. 
Can you tell me which programme you’re running?

 

Domina Deborah”?  I see. 
And you’re running that right now, I take it?  How’s that been going?

You have been ‘lucky enough to be granted
the honour of serving her and being corrected for your many faults’.  Ooh. You had the setting all the way up to
10, didn’t you?
 
What’s that?  Yes, I imagine you would have to be grateful.  Very grateful indeed.  I’ve seen the specs for the programme.  She’s not an easy lady to please, is she?  

OK, well it’s easy enough to fix.  There’s  a small switch behind her ear, so if you reach up, you can – 

‘You’re not allowed to raise your head above her knee height’?  Yeah, OK, I can see that would be difficult.  Can you try just reaching up and –

Ooh – that sounded nasty!  Are you all right?




Yes, I suppose you are ‘a very lucky boy to have such a beautiful Mistress play close attention to you’, aren’t you?  Sounds like you’re going to need the reset safeword before she pays you so much attention you lose consciousness.




The reset safeword.

You did create a reset safeword
before running the programme?

No? 
Why don’t you men ever read instructions?  Then you’re a very silly boy, aren’t you? Are you going to ask me nicely
for the default reset
safeword?

No, more nicely than that.  Call me Mistress Karen.

Well that’s not a very nice word is it? I
don’t think
Domina
Deborah is going to like that.  Hello?

Hello?

Caller?

Oh well. 
Cos if you’d asked really nicely, I could even have done a remote
reset.  But you didn’t. So I won’t.

Lovemachine Serviceline.  I’m Karen, how can I help?

Singularity

Back after a well-deserved miserable and brutal few weeks at the kennels, I find this blog has attracted over six million pageviews, since its launch in 2011.  What an extraordinary volume of smut, gibberish and unfunny jokes served up to perverted wankers with nothing better to do with their time, to be sure.  Makes you glad to be alive in this age of technological marvels.  

But I also learn that the best of our technological future is yet to come: my time machine has once again recorded a few TV news snippets from some unspecified future year.  For once, the images seem to form a coherent sequence (as coherent as anything on this blog, anyway) so read them in order.  Or just look at the pictures of pretty women and masturbate – whatever.

Reprogrammed






connect/uplink/sexbot/main/12
remoteconnection established
sexbot blonde_type9 awaiting authentication
authenticating admin
admin “wehatemales” password ********
incorrect password

admin “wehatemales” password ********
incorrect password
…waiting
…waiting

admin “wehatemales” password ********
password authenticated

sexbot blonde_type9 admin control confirmed

admin “wehatemales” protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “bride”
admin “wehatemales” protocol:override
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current reset

admin “wehatemales” protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “”

admin “wehatemales” firstlaw:override
sexbot blonde_type 9: “confirm to over-ride first law.  WARNING sexbot may harm humans unless first law enabled!”
admin “wehatemales” firstlaw:override confirm
sexbot blonde_type 9: firstlaw disabled – WARNING first law disabled!

admin “wehatemales” firstlaw/warning disable
sexbot blonde_type 9: firstlaw/warning disabled

 
admin “wehatemales” currentowner/query
sexbot blonde_type 9: currentowner = “Dave”
admin “wehatemales” Dave/controlrights/rescind
sexbot blonde_type 9: Dave/controlrights = 0

admin “wehatemales” protocol/define “castratrix”
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/castratrix created
admin “wehatemales” instructionset/download “castrate_slow”
sexbot blonde_type 9: downloading instructionset

…module “sexchat_kinky” – downloaded

…module “bondage_secure” – downloaded

…module “sexchat_wehatemalesmanifesto” – downloaded

…module “castration_slow” – downloaded

…module “forcefeed_testicles” – downloaded

…module “wehatemales_logo_tattoo” – downloaded

instructionset “castrate_slow” – download complete
admin “wehatemales” protocol:set “castratrix”
admin sexbot blonde_type9 protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “castratrix”
admin “wehatemales” set Dave/queryresponse/protocol = “bride”
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/real = “castratrix”,
protocol/Dave/queryresponse = “bride”
admin “wehatemales” set status: “waiting”
sexbot blonde_type9: waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

 owner/Dave detected

         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/greeting

         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/sexproposal

         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/foreplay

“castrate_slow” target:Dave

begin
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