riding – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Thirty years of hurt (but this time with Lionesses)

So, after all these years of being told that football’s just a silly game in which a bunch of moronic boys chase a ball around in a field and surely I’m not asking to be allowed to put the ironing off just to watch that nonsense, apparently it’s a remarkable display of female skill, grace and power. Who knew? Well, my SO did, obviously, and now I do because she’s told me and that’s that.

Personally I’m not so much interested in the football itself as ~~in the players’ muddy boots and sweaty sock~~s in the fact that we are now officially all allowed to cheer ourselves silly(er) for a team called ‘The Lionesses’. That I do like, rather a lot.

It’s coming home. Unless the Lionesses lose on Sunday, obviously, in which case it’s going somewhere else. [UPDATE: They did. It is.]

Anyway, back to the depressing porn.

He did start by getting down on one knee, but it wasn’t enough.

I find the most effective humiliation scenes are the unexpected ones – for instance, when you think you’re just going on a vanilla date, but the woman intuitively senses that you’re into humiliation, so mocks and belittles you in front of your friends, then slaps you and walks off laughing, leaving you to pay the bill. Yeah, that’s a good one. How do they know?

She has some lederhosen for you, seeing as you’ve expressed such an interest in leather.

See how Mistress Vixen is keeping a straight back, there? That’s very important: it’s so easy to develop back problems in later life if you don’t sit right. Very sensible.

I have posted this before, but ‘too few’ is always the number of times I have done that, so here’s the lovely Mistress Vixen playing the piano.

Yeah, you can relax now the ceremony’s over and just enjoy the honeymoon – and the rest of your life.

Lap dogs to a slip of a girl

It’s funny: in a few weeks he’ll probably be complaining it’s too hot, staked out there on a lovely summer day with the honey and sweat running off his skin and the ants tickling his face.

I tried a self-help book once. Apparently my feelings of inadequacy aren’t real. Oh right – so what have I been paying all that tribute for, over the years, then? Silly book.

Good thing she decided not to wash her hair, as she hates saying no to people.

A survey of the male employees found 82% of them consider the new dress code unbearably humiliating. Management are working hard to think of something they can do to respond: 18% of males not feeling constantly mortified is simply unacceptable in a truly inclusive workplace.

Just don’t leave your used jodhpurs lying around.

Turn it on again

Yes, it’s the latest in the increasing desperate series of posts using titles from songs that somehow include a version of the word ‘turn’. It’s driving me mad, just another way of passing the day.

As in ‘turning points‘.

Their beauty and their style

He can do 100 words a minute – most of them being ‘sorry’.

I don’t see why it’s so unethical. I mean, consent was sought and freely… well, consent was given anyway, which is the main thing.

She’s always hungry. She always needs to feed. She must eat. All she gets is nasty Orcses.

I think we can all agree that anyone doing that deserves whatever Hayley feels like handing out (and she’s a big strong girl).

Romance, revenge and healthy exercise, all in one long, happy afternoon.

Stable relationships

Maybe when the two of you are married, you can talk to her about being less cruel to poor dumb animals.

Well, she should have been clearer. It took me ages…

No spoilers, now!

Don’t worry, you’ll soon warm up after Lady Sarah arrives.

He only discovered about her fetishes after the marriage. She has quite a few. The ones not involving inflicting pain on older men are mostly about girlfriends and money.