riding crop – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Excruciatingly pleasurable

Why bring up painful old memories? She seems nice… maybe it’s time for a fresh start?

Oddly enough, I never experienced corporal punishment as a child. My SO says we have to make up for lost time, and she’s probably right. She usually is.


Why do my dates always end up like this?

Traditional country sports went through a bit of a low patch in the years between the Foxhunting (Prohibition) Act and the Sexual Offences (Remedial and Preventative Measures) Act, but they’re now more popular than ever, even though men aren’t allowed to take part. As riders, I mean.


Oh dear. She’s right, you know. I am a very, very bad person. Fortunately, this very evening I am visiting someone to whom I have given a lot of money to beat me for my sins. So that’s all right.

Speaking with authority

Once when I was in hospital I tried out the ‘just a little prick with a needle’ joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said “But I’m the one with the needle.” I did feel a fool.

BDSM’s odd like that. Subs are actually much more interested in exactly how the implement feels than the dommes. My SO seems to grab any old thing at random sometimes when she wants to hit me – I actually feel that shows a lack of respect, which is lovely, obviously.

Starting with this.

Makes it all worthwhile.

It’s rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing.

* “I know you are, but what are you going to do with it?”.

Freddie’s back

If you like Contemplating the Divine* then you will certainly have loved Freddie’s Tales.** You, therefore, like me, will have been devasted when Freddie’s Tales disappeared from one day to the next. Also like me, therefore***, you will be absolutely delighted that Freddie is back, with a new blog and no doubt just raring to produce more of those fabulous Beetle books.

So get yourself over to Freddie’s new blog. I – hey come back! I didn’t mean now. Read the captions below first, moron. That’s what you came here for, right? Men… I dunno.

My SO and I have been experimenting with pre-signed suicide notes. It’s a kind of next-level thing, you know? Edgy, I know, but it works for us.

I think I can give her 110%.

Sounds like you are actually going to be discussing it… at length. But not until you’re safely married.

Consent seems to be a theme of this post. That’s because it’s so important. My SO always insists that I consent to everything she does to me.

Thank goodness they no longer hunt foxes. That was so cruel.

* And if you don’t like Contemplating the Divine what the fuck are you doing here? Are you some kind of weird masochist or something? Freak.

** Except the Femsub bits, obviously. One day, I hope young Freddie will meet a lady who will set him right about the suitability of that sort of material.

*** Writing this, I realise how uncannily similar we are, you and I. We laugh at the same things, cry together – we should get a drink some time, yeah?

I’m just wild about Harry

No, not Archie’s dad. Her. I always have been. Rapture!

But no captioned images of the divine Mistress Deborah, I am afraid, as the available ones tend to be fuzzy vid-caps. Just the usual sort of thing, you know.

But only if you want to, obviously.

The anaestheologist is very skilled in pain management, so there’s no need to worry.

And don’t imagine there’ll be any ankles nakedly on display or anything lewd of that nature!

She’s got some suitable things for you to wear too.

They’re also going to have a little practice the day before, to make sure everything goes smoothly on the big day. Just on a bit of you that no one will notice.

Lovingly brutal

My SO has some lovely heavy rubber gimp outfits she likes me to wear. But for some reason only in summer. This time of year I’m not allowed to wear them. Or indeed any clothing at all. (I don’t count anything made of metal as clothing).

On the other hand, he does have to pay for it. A sissy slave doesn’t, which is just as well as they’re rarely allowed much pocket money.

She’s Head of the family now that her mother has passed away, of course. I mean, her father’s still around, I think, but no one ever paid much attention to him anyway.

This is the magnificent Goddess Sophia, on whose dungeon floor I have occasionally had the honour to be an unsightly smudge.

I think it’s all a bit unfair, really. I mean the hunters have trucks, high-powered rifles and female brains.

I think she wants creative control. And the biggest trailer on the set, with a soundproofed playroom too, obviously.

Try to see it Her way

…only time will tell if She is right or you are wrong.

Not do a good job at ‘good vigorous vanilla sex’? Little chance of that, I can assure you! Prepare for the best eleven seconds of your life, baby!

She later sold the house… said it contained too many memories.

If this blog is still going in three years, I guess this isn’t really going to work.

Looks like everyone’s having a slow, lazy afternoon.

She actually found it quite traumatic to watch, as she did the three she watched later on in the holiday. But she bought the souvenir DVD anyway.

Speaking of holiday – I’m going off on one, fnarr fnarr. So, usual CtD summer: with slightly faded but unused old captions published on a daily basis with minimal fuss. Watch this space… but don’t forget to refresh your screen, or it’ll be a long dull summer for you.

Herarchy

And when she’s sure she makes sure you’re sure.

Giving until it hurts.

He is now.

Well, I hate being whipped, so I can see a difference of opinion there that won’t be easy to resolve. Still, better not tell her. It’ll only make her cross.

They’re already planning a sequel. With different male lead characters, obviously.

Since you made it all the way down here (try to work more quickly next time, OK? My Blogger stats show that most readers reach orgasm by the third caption so there’s really no excuse for needing all five) here’s a little extra.

The Portly Polar Pinniped has the best collection of ‘mainstream’ video clips I have ever seen. Many of them very much themed along the ‘women’s world’ that this blog so often celebrates. He must be a busy little aquatic mammal and you’ll want to check out both his uploaded videos and his playlists.

There’s too many to single out all my favourites. But check out this playlist. It starts with the Charlie’s Angels clip you’ve probably seen, but press on as I’ll bet there’s good stuff here you haven’t. Especially this (rather reminiscent of the Two Ronnies Worm that Turned of blissful childhood memory). Oh: and definitely – def-in-ite-ly – this. And so much more.

Flap your flippers together in appreciation of the portly pinniped!

Bossy boots

See? Told you that in the future, boots would stamp down on male faces forever. Or was that George Orwell? Anyway, I have pictures to prove it.

It might get a bit smelly in there, that’s the only thing. But don’t worry: they’ll hose the crate down before you’re introduced to your new owners.

Wife and mother… it’s like two jobs rolled into one.

Don’t worry, they’ll make sure you get all the way to the top.

Looks pretty clean already to me. You don’t suppose she’s not a real biker by any chance, do you?

Ah, Mistress Eleise. Even dressed in her daily work clothes like this, she’s stunning.

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes. Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.

The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather. Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I? OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.

No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…

Losing my religion

OK, so my bitlocked external drive has had a bit of an old crash and makes nasty clicky grindy noises when it tries to go (and there is no way I am taking that particular collection of corrupted files to a computer expert recovery place, thank you). So I’ve lost a few months of stuff since the last backup. And by good luck, I haven’t lost any of the captions I posted during that time but I have lost the file structure that tells me whether I have ever posted them before or not.

So, for the next few months or so, if you find yourself thinking that CtD is even more repetitive and tedious than usual, it probably is and it might be because I’m repeating myself with an image I’ve already posted some time between July and October this year. Tell me in the comments and I won’t replace it directly, but I’ll add a sixth image to the next post. Or something.

Anyway, the show limps on despite technical difficulties, so here we go again:

I’ve nothing to say about this one. Not for another four months, anyway.

She’s got a point there. One of the mistakes newly maried couples often make is thinking they have to do everything together. There are lots of things my SO and I do separately – for example, being chained up naked cold and alone in the cellar is my special thing and there’s no reason for her not to go out clubbing while I’m doing it.

Don’t judge them too harshly. Most new dommes mess up their first breathplay session. Plenty more subs out there, so it really doesn’t matter.

Sooner or later most subs realise it’s not all about them. Some lucky ones eventually realise it’s not about them at all.

‘k.