riding crop – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes. Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.

The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather. Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I? OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.

No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…

Losing my religion

OK, so my bitlocked external drive has had a bit of an old crash and makes nasty clicky grindy noises when it tries to go (and there is no way I am taking that particular collection of corrupted files to a computer expert recovery place, thank you). So I’ve lost a few months of stuff since the last backup. And by good luck, I haven’t lost any of the captions I posted during that time but I have lost the file structure that tells me whether I have ever posted them before or not.

So, for the next few months or so, if you find yourself thinking that CtD is even more repetitive and tedious than usual, it probably is and it might be because I’m repeating myself with an image I’ve already posted some time between July and October this year. Tell me in the comments and I won’t replace it directly, but I’ll add a sixth image to the next post. Or something.

Anyway, the show limps on despite technical difficulties, so here we go again:

I’ve nothing to say about this one. Not for another four months, anyway.

She’s got a point there. One of the mistakes newly maried couples often make is thinking they have to do everything together. There are lots of things my SO and I do separately – for example, being chained up naked cold and alone in the cellar is my special thing and there’s no reason for her not to go out clubbing while I’m doing it.

Don’t judge them too harshly. Most new dommes mess up their first breathplay session. Plenty more subs out there, so it really doesn’t matter.

Sooner or later most subs realise it’s not all about them. Some lucky ones eventually realise it’s not about them at all.

‘k.

Domme-splaining

And don’t worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she’s fine with that too.

You don’t want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you? No? Didn’t think so. Up you get, then. Don’t forget to scream on the way down.

I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly. So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially ‘starts’ 23 hours before I actually arrive. I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it’s a good deal really.

So many new things to understand in this relationship. The dictionary’s a big help. So’s the shock collar, of course.

What a lovely spanking bench. Don’t you think?

Like lovers do

Sex..?. Don’t talk to me about sex. I tried it once – not tryin’ that again. Nearly got me ‘ead stuck!
Joke copyright Alexei Sayle.

It’s wilful impertinence on your part. So’s being too early, obviously.

Scurry scurry scurry…

Don’t worry. She’s quite sweet, really. When she’s not in a bad mood.

In space, no one can hear you sigh with hopeless romantic infatuation…

Feeling her pain

…it’s just something she likes me to do from time to time.

Strictly speaking, that’s probably against school rules. I mean, it’s not as if the chalk’s her property, after all.

It’s up to you whether you sign of course – and feel free to take your time. She can always do you after lunch, if you can hold out that long. Not a problem.

Thank you. Ahhh.

That sounds very fair.

Glad to be of service. It’s the highlight of my month, actually.

These lovely boots exist to drive it round the twist

The call of nature must be obeyed.

She actually has very high standards for sorryness. You’ll see.

It’s her own recipe.

Hmmm… edgy blackmail play. Got to love it. No really, you do.

Love her, love her cane, I suppose.

She has her own way of dealing with problems.

Because she says so

…is there ever any other reason?

It’ll help take your mind off the pain, while you’re waiting, anyway. Nothing like ‘more pain’, to do that.

How exciting! I wonder who it is?

It’s good to talk these things through. And then to smack them out.

You’ve either seen the movie or you haven’t.

Can’t stop staring at.. the …gloves…! Oh, er, right! Dinner. yes, right away.

Yes, I’ve experienced pain in my marriage

Fairly regularly, actually. Usually on Tuesday and Friday evenings.

Gives you a warm glow inside, knowing she’s in charge, doesn’t it? And outside too – obviously.

I’m sure he can take it. Being chained up helps a lot, for a start.

Women, eh! Never satisfied.

I think they are antennae. I find it’s the antennae that usually get detached. Unless she insists that I chew of course – then it just all goes everywhere. Don’t you agree?

Lucky, lucky us.

I yam what I yam

… and I thought what I yam was a beta male, but apparently not. It turns out, I am an omega male:

Omega animals are subordinate to all others in the community, and are expected by others in the group to remain submissive to everyone. Omega animals may also be used as communal scapegoats or outlets for frustration, or given the lowest priority when distributing food.

Ah, let me be her outlet for frustration…

Yes, Ma’am.

Not a beta – you see?

Actually, good rough sander will have much the same effect – and it would be a lot cheaper. Fun, too.

I’m sure she’ll think of something.

There’s always a bit left over.

A turning point

Many of you seem to like the series ‘turning points’: captioned images of situations that are not exactly femdom. But could be. Like this.

Anyway, in the same theme here is one of those little stories that’s just too damn big to fit as a caption.

Hmmm? My riding lesson?

No, it was
rubbish, actually. They gave me that
grey horse again – the lazy one. And he
kept refusing the jump so I gave him a few sharp taps with the whip – you
know. And then he refused it again, so I
decided to show him who was boss. So I
was giving the lazy bastard some good hard cracks right across his rump when
the instructor came up and told me I was giving him too much whip! That I should be trying to coax the stupid
animal instead of thrashing him! Can you
imagine!

She said she’d cancel the lesson if I didn’t stop. So of course I did…but can you imagine? It drove me mad, trotting around on this lazy
old thing and I couldn’t do anything but tap it gently. I’ll swear the brute was laughing at me! You know how frustrated and angry I get when
I don’t get my way. Grrr.

Anyway, when we finished and I took him back to the stall
and tied his reins up, she wasn’t around.
So I gave him 12 good hard ones!
He didn’t like that, I can tell you.
He was jumping about and trying to get his head around, but I was standing well to the side. And I laid them on good and hard – raised some lovely welts.

Anyway, I’m sure it did him a power of good. When I walked past a bit later on the way to the car, he caught sight of me and
cringed. Really. Have you ever seen a horse cringe? I don’t think he’s going to
forget me in a hurry! In fact, I might
ask to have him again next time. I think
we’ll be jumping those fences very nicely.

So… that was my day.
Still feeling angry.

How about you – did you fix that leaking pipe?

Oh darling! I can’t
believe it – I asked you specially! Now
how am I going to wash all this stable smell off? What have you been doing all this time? Just lying about watching TV and surfing the internet I suppose!

Honestly – you do make me cross sometimes. You really do.