professional dominatrix – Contemplating the divine

An unfair crack of the whip

More captioned images celebrating the delightful ways our superiors can be unreasonable and unfair.

Trying to top from the bottom again, were you? She’s wise to your little power-play.

Try thinking of her needs rather than your own, for a change.

If he correctly picks a yellow one he gets an orgasm. So there’s that to look forward to.

Just remember the two absolute rules: (1) never lie to Mistress and (2) Mistress is always right. As long as your answer conforms to both of those, you should be fine.

She likes it done just right. It never, ever is.

Oh dear. And the punishment was nearly done before that little act of defiance.

Lady Sophia Black, who I can tell you from personal and painful but wonderful experience did the ‘impossible to please’ thing better than any other domme I have ever known.

Lovely Cruella shoot there, for once not in an abandoned industrial wasteland but instead an abandoned country house. If you haven’t checked Cruella lately, by the way, you should do: Andy has been fantastically active over the last few months. There must be a female standing over the lazy little sod with a whip because he’s put up lots of free and paid-for (PDFs of magazines) content. And you no longer need the bizarrely unobtainable ‘Cruella Card’ for the latter: just, y’know, money.

You could *try* pushing her boundaries – maybe she’ll crack eventually.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.

She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.

Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.

Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.

It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

That’s what she said

Don’t make her say it twice.

I’m sure Julie won’t mind at all but it’s always polite to ask.

My SO likes to play this game and would you believe it, I’ve lost 23 times in a row. What are the odds?* I would say I’m very unlucky but I’m so lucky to be married to such a wonderful lady, that would be churlish.

* Just over one in ten million. “Do the maths” – as a Governess I used to visit used to say – “then bend over the punishment bench so I can do the marking”.

Many relationships that end in divorce could actually be saved if only the woman were prepared to make her husband do the work.

There’s usually a little crowd of embarassed-looking beta-boys waiting outside that club, so you can pass the time in awkward chats with them. You can bond over lucky you all are to have the opportunity perhaps to be useful to your goddesses, boyfriend jealousy issues, how you deal with chafing from your chastity belts and all that kind of subbie stuff. As long as she’s given permission, obviously.

The divine Mistress Akella, there.

It’s about time an A-list star called out these creepy publications that use images of actresses without permission, to titillate their sad and perverted readership. This blog applauds Ms Scarlett’s courage in speaking out.

His purpose in life

Yeah, she’s very generous with her slaves’ time. Well, there’s plenty and it’s not like she needs or wants it all.

Wow – it doesn’t get better for a submissive than that! Well… maybe just a little better.

I once told a domme in session I was too cold and she promised to warm me up with her paddle, but after that I was still cold – just in pain, too. Of course, I didn’t tell her, after she’d been so thoughtful.

The ‘sadistic dentist’ trope is so annoying to the profession. A survey found that only 42% of female dentists gained sexual pleasure from inflicting intense pain, which is actually slightly below the percentage in the general female population. And of those, no more than a third said they fantasised about having a man helpless in their chair and drilling for fun. So the next time you’re visitng for a routine check-up just try to remember that and relax, OK?

Kitten wouldn’t *mind* giving a pay piggie like you a blow job but she’s read up on it and apparently that’s only for sugar daddies and she does so want to do this right.

Talking down to you

The natural position, for those we look up to.

And actually, if you think about it, the three big hairy leathermen are probably just as scared of you as you are of them, right? Right?

A little light bondage is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the things she can do to you only *because* she’s put you into a little light bondage that you should fear.

Bit weird, because she always said she thought bald guys look stupid.

I think you might have pushed her boundaries, there.

Nothing personal. Almost all her clients are more important than you.

Don’t pretend to be a free human, not under that gaze.

A man who does not understand the benefit of suffering does not live a clever and true life.

I’ve barely given the matter any thought, to be honest. Too much to do around the house to have time for politics.

Warning: may induce servility. Do not drive or operate heavy equipment without permission after taking this medication.

Trouble is, the spiked chastity tube really needs to be fitted before any excitement emrges, or it’s difficult to get it on (although with sufficient determination she always manages it). So it works best as a precaution.

This could be the beginning of a beautiful – and highly remunerative – relationship. Just as well, as another one could well be ending.

They are prepared to do maternal discipline sessions, as long as it is understood that the maternal care they provide is the sort that results in huge newspaper headlines and public inquiries into the failure of the local social services.

Art is born of humiliation

And so is unoriginal, mediocre crap like this.

Adapting your behaviour’s really easy. In fact, if you just go with the flow, she’ll adapt it for you. [P.S. Don’t you love her t-shirt? I wrote the caption, for which the image was already perfect, before I’d noticed it.]

There are many things he’d like her to do. He’s learnt to cope with disappointment, though.

One fact-checking organisation did give *Contemplating The Divine* a 7% rating for truthful reliability, but that was focused on a few posts in which I’d exposed and deprecated my own sexual and other inadequacies… a more representative selection of posts would probably put it about 1%… maybe 2.

You could say no…. even to Sven. But imagine that disappointed face, hmmm?

The most important part of the session – handing over the tribute – went without a hitch, so anything else is best regarded as an extra.

Her predictions usually come to pass. She’s brutally honest with them, too: doesn’t hold back from giving bad news.

This image (and associated Femme Fatale movie) is of a truly historic event, in featuring Mistress Eleise de Lacy and Lady Sophia Black together. Two of the most beautiful, talented and creative dommes ever. Servitor has had the extraordinary honour of serving both wonderful ladies in person, but never together… that, I think, would have made my head and probably several other body parts explode.

Getting your unjust deserts

Or desserts, even, if you’re into messy food play (or toilet play, for that matter).

I’ve never disappointed a woman in bed. Sexually, I mean. I spend my life disappointing women in other ways, in other places, obviously.

Why would anyone look closely? Horrible male bottoms… we don’t pay dommes enough for thrashing away at them.

I’d hate to try hypnotherapy, as I have this deep-seated feeling of terror at the thought of losing control. I suppose that might sound odd – in the lifestyle I live with my SO, have I not already lost control, you might ask? Yes, I have, and I spend my life feeling terror – thank you for asking.

The two options are (1) handing them cash and fucking off or (2) handing them cash and not fucking off just yet, in case they need more cash, basically. Of course, they’re not *your* options.

Let’s hope she switches the light off, or you’re in for a sleepless night, I’m afraid. I don’t suppose you could reach the…? No, no I suppose not.

*** **WORDPRESS READER WARNING** ***
Our fact-checkers have red-flagged this claim as ‘Unsupported by evidence. Probable misinformation’. And they reckon the rest of the blog’s a load of old wank, too.

(The real thing: Mistress Eleise de Lacey)

No special Valentine’s Day theme today, you might ask? Well, you see, when you’re in a long-term relationship as I am, you don’t need a special day to show your love. Valentine’s Day is just another day as I see it, or rather, every day is Valentine’s Day.

That’s my take on it.

Unfortunately, my SO took a different view and expected a present. So we discussed it in our usual way and once we reached the part of the discussion where she takes the gag out of my mouth and reduces the tempo of whipping so that I can gasp out coherent words, I explained how for me, every day was Valentine’s Day. So now she expects a present every day. She says she’ll be giving me something every day too, to remember this conversation by. So that’s nice.

They do say love has no boundaries or limits and I’ve certainly discovered that to be the case, today and every day.