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| Fool.. or genius? |
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| Oh, OK. As long as she’s thought it through. |
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| OK, but let’s hope there’s more pocket money this time around. |
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| Very special. |
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| She’d obviously misunderstood the situation. Poor thing. |
It’s what she says when my hand’s been doing a bit too much lovin’. I just say ‘Yes Ma’am’.
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| The beautiful Mistress Mina Thorne, whose dungeon I’m sure is entirely free of creepy-crawlies. Except her clients, obviously. |
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| Perhaps these things should come with instructions. |
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| Sounds like a win-win. |
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| Actually it arrived two days ago. Come on – you have to tell her sooner or later. If she calls the couriers and finds out, she’s going to be very cross. |
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| That’s very considerate of her, isn’t it? They’re not all heartless bitches, the ladies featured on this site, you know. |
I was using a thesaurus to look up synonyms for the word ‘impotent’ (I read somewhere it’s not a good idea to repeat precisely the same language in successive lonely hearts ads), and I read the following:
helpless
It’s almost as if the thesaurus compilers had met me. The power of words, eh? But enough of that, let’s turn to the power of dominant women, because that’s what you came here for, right?
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| Everyone should have a hobby. I have several. |
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| I think that although ‘the overall parameters’ might originally have been consensual, it’s probably not a good idea to try to renegotiate those now, either. |
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| Oh dear. I think this Chuck sounds a bit overbearing, don’t you? Maybe you should have a word. |
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| It’s silly to think she’s denied you a last orgasm. I mean, you had a last orgasm already, right? |
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| It’s good to do things together, as a family. |
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| It’s been a while since I did this, but I believe that you begin with the examination of conscience. Oh, and penance is involved somewhere down the line. Quite definitely. |
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| Hmm. What makes me think the answer by the end of the evening will turn out to have been ‘both’? |
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| As far as I know, there aren’t any countries that provide constitutional rights to have a tantrum. So you’d better just bend over. |
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| Tantrums featuring a lot today. New husbands are prone to them. Experienced husbands, less so. You’re about to become a lot more experienced, by the look of this! Many happy returns of the day. |
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| And although she seems to be looking away, it’s probably best not to pout when she’s given you this information, if you still have hopes of next month too. |
Irony: Iron more than 100 items of clothing in one day.
Bad maids get paddled: Admit to a fault that leads to a paddling.
Bad maids get caned: Admit to a fault that leads to a caning.
Those who wait: complete chores with three hours to spare and spend the remainder of the day in the corner.
Her wish is my command: bring Mistress something she wanted before being commanded to do so.
Friend or enema: complete all daily chores while holding in three quarts.
Silence is bronze: no speech except in response to a direct question for a week.
Silence is silver: no speech except in response to a direct question for a month.
Silence is golden: no speech except in response to a direct question for a year.
Spit-roast: take one of Mistress’s boyfriends at each end.
My special place: spend 8 hours standing in the corner without looking around.
Weekend place: spend 24 hours standing in the corner without looking around.
Shameful duty: appear in full maid’s costume in front of someone from your ‘previous life’.
Shameful discipline: be punished in front of someone from your ‘
previous life’.
Rain man: learn every telephone number in Mistress’s contacts.
Begging for it: request a stroke-for-stroke repetition of a caning immediately after it finishes.
Happy Hubby: Have a perky smile on your face every time Mistress sees you, for a week.
Rash decision: wear the same pair of diapers and plastic pants for three days in a row, without a change.
Bad scrubber: Clean the kitchen floor to Mistress’s satisfaction without once getting up off your knees.
Better scrubber: Clean the kitchen floor to Mistress’s satisfaction with hands tied back, and the brush between your teeth.
Good scrubber: Clean the kitchen floor to Mistress’s satisfaction using your hair as the brush.
Recycler: eat nothing but Mistress’s leftovers for a week.
Know what’s best for you: request a caning for no reason.
Cum-bucket: hold a boyfriend’s semen in your mouth all night without swallowing or spitting.
Dog-tired drudge: Perform housework for 48 hours without a break.
Remorseful: write a letter of apology to every woman with whom you have ever had sex.
Making amends: clean the apartment or house of a former girlfriend in maid outfit.
Revenge is bitter: receive corporal punishment from a former girlfriend.
Party animal: be the only ashtray at one of Mistress’s cocktail parties.
Potty mouth: Don’t spill a drop.
Fairly regularly, actually. Usually on Tuesday and Friday evenings.
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| Gives you a warm glow inside, knowing she’s in charge, doesn’t it? And outside too – obviously. |
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| I’m sure he can take it. Being chained up helps a lot, for a start. |
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| Women, eh! Never satisfied. |
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| I think they are antennae. I find it’s the antennae that usually get detached. Unless she insists that I chew of course – then it just all goes everywhere. Don’t you agree? |
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| Lucky, lucky us. |
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| I think it’s rather special that she dressed up for the occasion. |
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| Maybe his Mistress will put up posters or something. Maybe not. |
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| Somehow, I think you might get to know Debbie quite well. |
Oh, hi Mr Travis!
Are you leaning out just to say hi to me, or are you –
Oh dear. Again? Oh poor you. I think it’s awful the way she makes you bend over the window sill like that when she’s going to beat you. It must be so humiliating! I guess that’s part of the punishment, huh?
So what did you do this time?
Did you? Oh. We girls are quite particular about the way we have our dresses ironed. Ask your lodger next time – I might be able to give you some advice. Pleats are hard, though.
So is it the paddle again? I had a friend who used to get the paddle from his dad when I was a kid. He used to say it hurt like hell. One day his dad caught him saying that and paddled him double for profanity. Kinda fair, I guess.
No? Oh. I thought you got the paddle. What are you getting then?
A what? A “quirt”? What’s that?*
Oh. You mean, kind of like a whip? Oh boy, that sounds pretty rough. You get that just for messing up the ironing? Gee, you get whipped just for pleats not being straight. Your wife is kinda strict, huh?
Second time? Oh, OK. I guess you got the paddle last time, huh? Well, didn’t that make you kinda take extra care, this time, – and –
Yeah. Well, pleats are hard.
OK. Well anyway, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean – I guess you’ll feel uncomfortable enough pretty soon! I’ll just swing here for a bit. I’ll try not to look at you, when –
Oh, hi Mrs Travis! How are you?
Yeah, pretty good. Isn’t it great that the sun’s out again? I could just be out here all day.
Hmmm? No, no he hasn’t been round with the lawnmower for a while. Well… yeah, he did say he would. But it’s OK. I quite like the grass this long. Any time’s fine.
No really, I don’t mind! I’m sure he had other things to do and – well, all right. I guess he’s your husband, huh?
Oh – and if he’s coming round anyway? Do you think he could cut back some of the bushes, going back to the garden house? Only they’re growing over the side and it’s… Well, I guess I could just ask him. But I thought I’d check with you first, because – oh wow, is that the ‘quirt’? Boy, I’m glad that’s not for me. Wow, that’s pretty serious, huh? What’s it like when it –
OH!
Oh my god! Did you just – ? Wow, that was a real crack, like a – oh my god. Are you sure he’s OK? He looks kinda – oh are you gonna do it agai – Oh MY GOD!
(Hurriedly) OK, well, I can see you guys want to get on with it so – OH! Wow! Three. That must really hurt! – yeah, I’ll just… actually, I left my book inside. See you!
The end
* this:
That’s me! This phrase is what Google suggests when you start with ‘Snivelling little’. I was expecting ‘worm’, but then maybe the kinds of videos we watch (you and me, you know) are a bit of a minority taste…
There are also the Snivelling Shits, a punk band from the ’70s and their single ‘I can’t come’. I won’t include the usual YouTube link, because the song is terrible.
Heh – there’s some weird stuff on the Internet, isn’t there? Right then, on we go with the usual fare of mildly pornographic pictures of ladies looking stern, on which I’ve put down some of my sex fantasies. Enjoy.
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| And nor do most of you, because according to the stats, you’re mostly Americans. It’s a bit like saying “home run”…or whatever it is you say. You know – when there’s a home run. |
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| Actually, these days you can just book over the Internet. Much easier. |
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| The future belongs to Tracy…and so, in time, will Roger. |
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| Oh…wouldn’t that be just awful? |
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| I wish I’d been there when my wife lost her virginity. It was on our wedding night, but she’d sent me out for more champagne. |