Category: murder

The power of negative thinking

One of those talks where you don’t talk, not until the very end, anyway.
I hope readers realise that the activity depicted in this captioned image – being annoying and pervy around ladies who are prepared to do something about it – is highly dangerous and should not be attempted.
It might turn out to be quite like Tuesday. And after a while, it really doesn’t matter.
Goodness, what nerve-rackingly high stakes. You could lose some (notionally) important body parts or win back the full £120, all on the turn of a card.
Poobles likes to be helpful and today this is how he can help.
Poor chap’s going to miss out on the awkward vanilla conversation while getting dressed at the end.

You may only see it once, but that will be enough

Friday the 13th, it is. I’m not superstitious, of course. I believe that rational (and therefore female) thought can explain any apparent mystery. And there’s no such thing as bad luck, not really, except as the working of chance. Like the coin my SO tosses every month (to avoid stressing me out, she tosses it in private and tells me the result): it’s got an equal chance of heads or tails so it’s perfectly understandable that it should have come up tails eleven times in a row – it’s just a one in two thousand chance, that’s all. Which is extraordinarily unlucky, true, but then, as she often points out, I’m extraordinarily lucky to be married to her, so it more than evens out.

Anyway, thought we’d go for a slightly macabre theme today, in contrast to the usual romantic fluff.

Being married, of course, they didn’t have to be careful not to leave any marks.
Does Pink Floyd count? Genesis?
And everyone else lived unhappily ever after, to her great delight.
Wow – speaking of luck, what a lucky escape you just had, running into these two! They look very capable, too: I’m sure they’d be more than a match for any castrating, mutilating psycho serial killer.
Aww… she said you have yummy eyeballs. I reckon you’re in, here.
Actually Gothic Griselda and Strict Nanny Susan aren’t that different. Both enjoy expensive presents and neither is particularly keen on ‘happy endings’, for instance.

Oh, I wonder what you’re gonna do to me

In your room. (Fem-not-dom and sadly SFW)

It’s always nicer as a surprise. And the longer you stay locked up, the more of a surprise it would be, so the nicer it gets.
It’s possible he didn’t read the form quite carefully enough. Still, as long as he’s familiar with the seven-point procedure for early termination of the agreement, in paragraph 17(f) in Annex D, I’m sure he’ll be OK.
You can never have too many lesbians around the place, my SO says, but then she doesn’t clean up after them or do their laundry.
My own knowledge of nautical terminology mostly consists of making puns on the word ‘seamen’ so I did check…
The way to make your money go further is only to pay for what you regard as absolutely essential in life.
De-cluttering. Fear it.

She wasn’t asking for permission

It’s the latest in an occasional series celebrating the thrill and beauty of non-consensual femdom. Do I need to explain that this is intended to be tongue-in-cheek? I probably do, because most of you are male and thus a bit dim, even when you’re not wanking. In reality, consent is obviously of utmost importance in our weird little corner of the Internet. Any male speaking, acting or holding back money without his domme’s active and conscious permission to do so, is doing femdom wrong.

Spookily inaccurate

A Halloween special.

Unpleasant, cruel trick or delightful, yummy treat? But…but… aren’t they the same thing?

My SO really likes to do Halloween properly. She creates a whole ‘spooky garden’ on the way up to the house, with ghostly lights and freakish moans from a lost soul shackled in a cage dangling by the front porch. It gets ever so cold, but it’s a fun way of doing something with the local community. And anyway, it’s only for one night, unless she, y’know, forgets, dear absent-minded thing that she is.
Apparently, he’s been very naughty and she’s going to have to be strict with him. Very strict.
I wonder what tastes better than cake?
An eternity of torture in Hell may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but compared to most dommes’ hourly rates, it’s remarkably affordable.
They say the place is haunted by the ghost of a housemaid, chained and on her knees, endlessly scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing away the stains on the floorboards that can never be fully erased… but that’s just Trevor, he’s one of the regulars.
Actually, she hates Halloween – it’s Amateur Night.
Hmm. I reckon this could be a turning point in their relationship.

Never feel safe with the woman you love

… for a woman’s nature conceals more dangers than you think.

Leopold von Sacher-Masoch wrote that. Heck, if I’m going to rip off others’ femdom quotations, I might as well go to the source.

Let’s hope she explains it more clearly and thoroughly this time.
Aww… one of them brought her Mum.
Strict Master Simon is about to experience a little ‘being ripped apart by vicious dogs’ play. Kinky!
See, many people assume that findommes are selfish people, but here’s Sam generously handing out her own piggie’s money just as a nice gesture to her friend.
For some reason, the post-action interviews in snuff movies rarely – never, actually, come to think of it – feature both participants.
So much easier when someone else takes these difficult decisions.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting

But some males just won’t subdue that easily, so these ladies did whatever had to be done. Fighting to liberate the world for a utopian vision of a true slave-owning democracy, these heroines understood that only through the extensive application of extreme violence could peace finally reign. More tales from when the war between the sexes finally went hot: World War M.

Hell hath no fury like a woman…

…does.

Men don’t really understand stuff like that, unless it’s slapped into them.
It’s a symbolic denial of heterosexuality, you see. And a rather practical and concrete physical one too, of course.
Actually, of course, lady Vikings didn’t usually go raiding. No: they waited at home, standing there tapping their feet and idly stroking their whips as their apologetic husbands returned with more meagre and unsatisfactory booty. There is a reason Vikings were so fierce, you know.
Of course, it doesn’t take the human element out completely – it can’t whip you, for instance.
Thank goodness for that. She must have been quite distraught.
Even if you’re sure it’s not yours (and let’s face it – in your condition, you can be reasonably confident it isn’t, right?) it’s polite to offer to lick it off.

And don’t forget to thank her

Kindness costs nothing, unlike cruelty which in my experience costs several hundred pounds an hour.

I think she’s not convinced but there’s still time. He’s getting to that point that negotiation experts call ‘closing’ and subs call ‘desperate pleading’.
I think for the next few hours at least, you’re Treasure’s favourite toy.
More life skills: maintaining eye contact is a good way of projecting confidence, trust and stupidity.

Even without the label you’d always know a Cruella shot from the glamorous locations, right?

Its’ a sugar-free version, basically.
Wow – bet he’s glad he’s not that guy!
More negotiation tips here, but… well, I’ve just never understood how anyone could do anything other than giving Annie whatever she wants, immediately.

She walks in beauty, like the night

She’s right, of course (as women do tend to be in my experience). You can only feel frustrated while you retain hope.
Many rich man marrying younger second wives worry that they’ll be reckless with money, but in this case it does look as if he’s married someone capable and willing to exercise strict financial control.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with a sissy having opinions, as long as they are sensible opinions derived from someone else – someone without intellect-destroying Y-chromosomes.
The problem is, she’s a perfectionist, but really, why should she have to give up on the ideal of perfection? Looks to me like she’s determined to keep trying, despite these setbacks, which I find admirable.
And that’s a sin.
Typical selfish male behaviour on maggot’s part, there, not even managing to remain alive despite the two ladies having a clear use for him at least for the next hour or so. But as things turned out, the resulting photo-shoot went really well – in fact they resolved to use dead slaves more often, as they’re less annoying.

A classic from Cruella. And you can now download the originals, the stories in which are no less deliciously dismissive and brutal than my caption. Wonderful stuff.