Category: masturbation

Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.



Mock away.




If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.


 

They know all the tricks.  Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done?  Right?  Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.

 

 

 

Yup.  I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score!  She looked suitably impressed.

 


 

Domestic goddesses

 

She didn’t actually write all of the lyrics herself of course, but she suggested the basic themes.

 

 

 

Don’t feel bad about the waste of electricity, though: no electricity used by a woman to shock a man is ever truly wasted.

 


 


And if you don’t like the red colour, the marks come in purple and black too as long as you go long enough.

The goddess on the left is the lovely Miss Zoe.  The one on the right is not.


She was a spectacularly naughty schoolgirl, I’ve heard.



 

Well, my arm’s not tired either, so why shouldn’t I?  Honestly, women say the strangest – ah, no, let me go, please Ma’am, don’t!

 

 

Maybe I’m just stupid

I thought we’d got it sorted. (NB: link is not femdom-related, unless you have the same sorts of fantasies about Louise Wener as I do).


Ah, those far off heterosexual days.





The game of ‘fetch’ is actually harder than it looks.




Once she’d explained her idea, they agreed that it was safe.  Not consensual – obviously – and quite possibly not sane, but safe enough, probably, so they just decided to go for it.




He’s lucky.  My
SO usually decides I’m too busy to take even 15 seconds out of my busy
schedule and of course I have to agree with her about that.



I think she’s right: she probably should have used a different bat.  But those big heavy ones have their uses, too.