ironing and irony – Contemplating the divine

Celestial bodies

Good thing she brought a sub. They’re used to them on fashion shoots, of course: no self-respecting model would be seen without an obedient puppy boy on a leash or a sissy maid at a respectful three paces behind, these days.

She prides herself on being the perfect hostess: it’s all about making sure someone makes the effort to prepare everything properly before the guests arrive, apparently.

Humiliation play can be a tricky thing. I once met up with a domme in cafe for public humiliation play and soon found myself being insulted, belittled and eventually slapped by this elegant, blonde lady in high heels and furs. Perfect – until I discovered I’d got the wrong cafe entirely and the domme I’d booked had been waiting impatiently in the one around the corner. Most embarassing.

The lovely Princess Kali, there, trying not to engage in humiliation play.

If all that fails, I understand there’s a briar patch they can throw you into.

I hope someone tells the patient that someone with the right skills and training is looking after his wife. Otherwise he might be feeling anxious for her.

Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

Mistress Apple, there, of course and she’s right, they will.

Off to your mystery honeymoon destination. Exciting!

My SO enjoys watching me write my name. There’s a whole bunch of forms waiting for me, as soon as I’ve finished this post. They’re all in Arabic, so I’ve no idea what they say but apparently they’re very important.

Peggy pegs.

People can be so cruel. Especially men. Bastards.

He can explore his submisive side. Or not. It really won’t make much of a difference either way.

And I will bare my soul in time

…when I’m kneeling at your feet.

I think we can agree, though, that it’s hardly femdom to expect men to do their share of the ironing. Including – obviously – making up for the backlog of several thousand years when they didn’t.

So we did. I wonder what we’ll decide today.

Good thing there’s a woman in charge to take those tough decisions.

Sissy didn’t actually understand the book anyway. Men should go out to work, take decsions, look after their own lives? Terrifiying.

It’s a bluff. I think it’s a bluff.

They can beg and they can plead

…but they can’t see the light.

Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then she’ll begin.

You’re actually already halfway through the session. Might as well finish off.

Good. Good. I expect she’ll be chucking away all those dusty old wine bottles in the cellar and filling up the racks with some nice fresh sparkling wine with cheerful labels, too.

If it’s any consolation to him, after her friend has finished the face-slapping session tomorrow, he will look like a house elf.

As it happens, the second guy from the front is the Financial Director of one of the biggest German pension and insurance conglomerates. He’s wondering whether he should say something here – but by now he’s probably got more sense.

And if she goes away, I’m like someone who’s left out in the rain.

Cos you can’t beat a bit of E.L.O.

Some days you just can’t seem to get up.

I wonder if they do ‘extras’?

Damn. She’s catching on.

OK.

Well, a halfsome anyway.

Lap of honour

She uses a system of rewards and penalties. Some days, when you’ve done particularly well, you’re rewarded by not being penalised.

I wasn’t a service oriented submissive when I started out, but my SO sent me on an orientation course.

The other things are negotiable. Just go ahead and negotiate – but you do have to be in position first, OK?

In any marriage, learning when to communicate – and when to stay silent – is as important as learning how.

I find these networking sites can really eat up my time. I had fifteen ironing assignments on Slavr last week, for example – took me hours to get all that done – and then there were eight notifcations waiting for me on Spankr. I thought all this technology was supposed to give us all more free time?

Unreasonable force

He’s a lucky guy.

Planet Femdom, of course. If you like statuesque ladies brutally dominating… well, that bloke mostly. I do, actually. Rather a lot.

Cruelty-free farming has its downsides. Still, I’m glad she found a solution.

Oh dear. Another of those painful conversations.

Actually, the story is rather simple. The post of office tampon boy was advertised, so he studied, and prepared and pulled every string he knew of to get it. But wouldn’t you?

Try not to take it too badly. Just because you’ll be spending the rest of your life alone, in poverty, with your empty days filled only with the longing for her doesn’t mean you have to be miserable. It just makes it very, very likely.

Report an abusive image

…if you spot any of those, do let me know, won’t you?

No taxation without, err….

Sounds exciting.

I always find the washing instructions on clothes hard to understand. So did he, apparently.

It wouldn’t really be asking permission if she didn’t say no, now and then, would it?

It rarely is, actually. In fact, I don’t know about you but I’ve always found the standard travel phrasebooks to be pretty useless in session. I’m thinking of writing in to complain.

There must be an angel

(playing with my heart)

It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little thoughtfulness and the daily touch of a razor-sharp blade.

When the cat’s away, the mice will.. well, do their chores and write lines, by the look of it.

Sometimes these things are just, well, involuntary aren’t they? It’s not that she wants to burn your hand with the iron – she just feels a compulsion.

She’s probably joking. Don’t you think she’s joking?

There are more hot chicks in empire-line dresses right here, if that’s your thing. According to Google, though, I’m the only person in the world for whom “hot chicks in empire-line dresses” is a thing, so maybe not.

Category: ironing and irony