in-laws – Contemplating the divine

She’s already apologised to her sister on your behalf, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be going round to her place to apologise directly, too – and offer to make amends, of course.

Must be terrifying being tiny. Good thing there are big strong girls like her around to look after you.

Understandable that he wants to make sure, given that the two of them will be working so closely together every day, but sometimes a candidate arrives at an interview and just makes such a strong impression from the start that you know she’s going to get the job.

That’s the divine Heather, being contemplated in the scene above.

Many people don’t realise that in English, like very gendered languages such as Japanese, there are words that women can use that men cannot. But there are.

Sometimes an unexpected, spur-of-the-moment session can be best. One time, for instance, I was walking home late at night and clumsily bumped into one of a group of girls. Given no time to apologise properly, I was beaten up, kicked repeatedly in the balls and face, robbed, spat on and left penniless lying in a side-alley. When you think of all the emails and careful arrangements you’d need to do that with a pro-domme….

That seems very fair. In the early days of our marriage my SO would occasionally let me vote on things, although of course she had the tiebreaking vote in case of a 1-1 outcome. It made me feel empowered and valued, which is presumably why she stopped doing it.

No mother-in-law jokes, please – she has many sterling qualities (firmness, willpower, attention to detail) but unfortunately ‘a sense of humour’ is not one of them.

Fortunately, there are plenty of male disciplinary jobs in the new Matriarchy for former sex-workers – oddly enough, it’s the vanilla ones who’ve been most enthusiastic about it.

Don’t worry: Mistress won’t let her hurt you without good cause.

And if you did mind, it really wouldn’t matter.

Category: in-laws

Spoken for

Oppressive unreality