Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.
Because dreams are made of this.
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| And if she isn’t free, your daughter’s got lots of other friends who could step in. |
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| Did you have something better to do? No? Well then. |
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| That half a day’s going to drag a bit. I hate not really having anything to do, you know? |
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| Those two extra legs make all the diference. Insects don’t usually have such big fangs too. |
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| Could be a career breakthrough here. Make yourself valuable to stars like Gigi Allens and who knows where you might go? |
Two short pieces about office life that were just too long to work as captions.
Recognition
OK! Yeah! Great! Thanks, Mike. Now the prize for the idea that most contributed to the company’s success… well, we didn’t need to think too long about this one! I guess you all know the story? One of our biggest Chinese suppliers really screwed up and sent us three months supply of babywear in sizes, like, six or seven times too big? I don’t know what they were thinking – centimetres and inches? Even that doesn’t really do it. Do they have, like, six foot tall babies in China? Anyway, they went bankrupt so I guess no one will ever know.
So there we were, right? Three months stock – plastic pants, dresses, dummies, baby reins – and none of it was going to fit any baby that ever lived! But cometh the hour, cometh the man. One employee who heard about the trouble – a guy who didn’t even work in our babywear divison – sent an anonymous email to marketing with the idea that saved the company, right? And you all know what happened then.
And today our fetishwear division is the most profitable in the company! Yeah! Those humiliation freaks will pay any kind of margins we set for our stuff – they can’t get enough of it. Oh – and have I mentioned we’re about to launch a very exciting range of lockable sissy clothing?
OK. OK. Yeah! Great. OK, settle down because now I’ve got a surprise for you.
Our guys in IT have been working to trace that anonymous email. Because this company believes that great contributions need to be recognised – in public! – and rewarded. And, I guess, because we’d all love to hear how he even got the idea!
And he’s here today… so are you going to come up here and take a bow, Mr Anonymous? Or do I have to ‘out’ you, huh?
C’mon, don’t be so modest! Take a bow and take the credit! You deserve it!
Mr 49 year-old Anonymous… from the Cleveland office…
OK, yeah, it is ‘that’ Mark Lewis. And listen, if you don’t want to work with him, I’d respect that. Especially after suffering all that sexual harassment in your last job – anyone would be angry with sexually predatory men after that.
But let me tell you a few things about Mark, OK – a few things other than that he stole all those panties from his co-workers and was caught masturbating into a shoe. First off, right, he’s a really great coder and the most painstaking worker in the division. He’ll pull an all-nighter whenever needed, just checking through the code, without complaining. We need our products to be bug-free from the moment they go out the door, and it’s hard to find that kind of dedication.
Secondly, you know about the agreement he had to sign, right?
Yeah, sure, he’s wearing a steel tube. That’s part of it. Everyone knows about that part. But do you know about the behavioural conditions?
Well, Mark has to demonstrate respect for his female co-workers in all his interactions. And it’s up to them how they make him demonstrate that. So, for example, some of his co-workers make him stand to the side with his nose pressed up against a wall when they walk past, others make him apologise for being a pantie-stealing pervert at the start of every meeting – that kind of thing.
So as his new boss you’d –
What? Yeah, sure, anything you like, I guess. I mean, obviously if he really didn’t want to do it he could resign… but he’s 56 and all his healthcare and pension are here, you know, so… pretty much anything goes, I guess.
Do you need some time to think about it?
Of course, I should probably emphasise that you couldn’t make him do anything actually illegal or hazardous to his health… I’ll just make a note that we discussed that at this meeting, OK? But as long as that’s understood, can I take it you’re on board to take on the role of his supervisor?
Great. I’ll call him in to tell him the good news.
But I’m never allowed to, so I don’t really know why I bother.
On we go …
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| At first, she used to follow the approach of other dommes; in trying to put first-time clients at their ease. Reassure them that nothing too bad would happen, you know? But then she decided one day it was just too dishonest. |
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| Relationships can take many different forms. You’d be surprised how many stable partnerships are based on a solid foundation of contempt and abuse. Works for me. |
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| Maybe you could ask about the oral sex later. Still worth a try, surely? |
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| Actually, in my opinion, equality between the sexes is a very bad idea. But I’m posting this caption anyway, in the spirit of recognising that my opinion is of no importance whatsoever. |
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| Like I said, relationships can take many forms. ‘Husband’, ‘lover’, ‘piss-slave to lesbian couple’ – they’re all just different words for the same thing, fundamentally, don’t you agree? |
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| Actually: confession time. I, servitor, am not actually into femdom at all. It’s all a cruel punishment perpetrated upon me by an evil woman who forces me to spend hours each week scouring the internet for pictures of ladies in leather boots, or holding canes – which don’t excite me at all! – and write silly captions on them. Oh, the torment. |
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| Well, these things matter, y’know? Sure, Kurt’s main priority right now is to spend the night fucking your wife like a piledriver. But in the morning, he’s going to want a nice fresh pair of briefs to pull over his aching cock, amiright? |
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| My SO, a few of her friends and I played this game with a tattoo pen once. Goodness, we laughed! Some of us. |
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| Would it be to make a banana smoothie? |
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| Cultural norms can vary a lot, even within the same country. At the office where I work, for example, I’m allowed on the furniture and to drink water without asking permission. |
There’s now conclusive evidence of the harmful effects of looking at porn. These can vary from simple cases of sore knees and light bruising across the face to severe lacerations of the buttocks and intense pain in the genital region. You have been warned…
…but I expect you’re too stupid to do anything about it. I certainly am. On with the show.
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| She’s going to be brave for both of you, OK? |
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| Why would I want a new pair? |
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| Hmmm.. but is he really sorry? |
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| His n hers. |
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| Convenient too. There’s always a queue for the ladies’ loo at a wedding. |
… all the way to the chip shop
(trigger warning: video is unrelated to the subject matter of this blog, although I suppose those with a really really strong cuckoldry and insult fetish might just about find something in it).
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| And she’ll hold on to that very special key, just to make specially sure. |
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| It’s true, actually. There’s nothing that drives away mild discomfort quite like agony. |
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| A bit foolish, really. She could easily claim pro-domme rates for acting as his slavemistress and then where would he be? |
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| I eventually got round to asking my wife whether my performance in bed was OK or not. I was a bit worried, but actually she was very nice about it. Said it was so long ago she’d completely forgotten after all these years and why would it matter to anyone anyway? I was so relieved. |
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| Silly wasting money on a bus when it’s only eight miles anyway. Think how good you’d feel putting the bus fare into the fur coat fund instead. Every little helps. |
I can’t figure out your watery love
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| She can help you deal with feelings of guilt, too. |
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| I’ve never seen the point of masturbation gloves, to be quite honest. I mean why buy a special item of clothing that you’re almost never going to wear? |
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| You could try to bluff your way out. Or grovel. I think I’d go with grovel… but that’s just me. |
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| Nice to have something to think about, to take your mind off how much it’s going to fucking hurt. |
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| Always consensual. It’s rule number 1. Well, in my relationship it’s actually rule number 286, but you know what I mean. |
Persons proceeding past this point will encounter no genuinely adult content whatsoever, merely juvenile humour and sexual innuendo written by someone with the emotional intelligence of a teenager. You have been warned.
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| Let’s hope he enjoyed wishes 1 and 2. |
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| Not very politically correct. Perhaps I need to be politically corrected. |
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| Don’t worry, she’ll give him a 10% discount for all those extra hours. |
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| These gender roles are essentially all social constructs anyway. Why should we have to conform to a role because of what sex we are? What if I choose not to do the housework, hmm? Well… I get tied across a chair and thrashed, obviously. But I could if I wanted to.. and didn’t mind the beating. That’s the point. |
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| Self-harming is such a waste. When there are people out there who’d love to do it for you. |
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| Of course, for her it’ll be very different from having sex with you. Longer… more enjoyable…and more frequent too. |
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| Don’t worry – it’ll be very special for both of you, I am sure. |
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| And weekly confession too. |
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| Sometimes men need a little encouragement to make the right choice of their own free will. |
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| She has a point, you know. I’d say more, but I’ve a leash to fetch. |
