chastity – Contemplating the divine

Scarlet ladies

Come on – don’t hold back. If you’ve thought of… oh five or six bad things you might have done, just tell her all of them. What’s the harm? Couples *should* share things, so they learn to understand each other better.

No loss, really. You’d look silly on a golf course in your little dress, cap and apron, anyway.

Just for the avoidance of doubt: you should also do that if you *don’t* want to eat straw, now she’s said it.

Don’t worry, it’s not like she can control your thoughts. Just make sure you never express or act upon them, without permission.

Treasure did a convincing job of looking terrified. See if you can do the same when you wake up and they come back and start playing with you. They’ll appreciate that.

Oh, I wonder what you’re gonna do to me

In your room. (Fem-not-dom and sadly SFW)

It’s always nicer as a surprise. And the longer you stay locked up, the more of a surprise it would be, so the nicer it gets.

It’s possible he didn’t read the form quite carefully enough. Still, as long as he’s familiar with the seven-point procedure for early termination of the agreement, in paragraph 17(f) in Annex D, I’m sure he’ll be OK.

You can never have too many lesbians around the place, my SO says, but then she doesn’t clean up after them or do their laundry.

My own knowledge of nautical terminology mostly consists of making puns on the word ‘seamen’ so I did check…

The way to make your money go further is only to pay for what you regard as absolutely essential in life.

The nature of a woman hides more dangers than you think

Listen very carefully: she will say this only once.

Guy A sounds a bit creepy to me, don’t you think? Glad to see she sent *him* packing! Let’s see how creative the other two are, in their response to her embarassing dilemma.

‘Giving’ doesn’t quite describe the financial transaction involved, but I can see her point as clearly as I can smell her socks.

I expect he’ll come to a more appreciative position of their work. Especially creative writing.

This is the anger stage of her depression. I hope you can help her work through it, because the next one – bargaining – obviously doesn’t fit at all well into a D/S dynamic.

Speaking of linguistic matters, Ms Palvin of course hails from Hungary, a country whose language makes no distinction between men and women. Which seems most odd… isn’t her existence alone a good reason to change that?

Approval required

But rarely granted.

Yeah, everything’s fine. All under control.

You might think this is even worse than that couple caught on the audience cam but don’t worry: it’s all consensual. The three ladies were asked and they said they didn’t mind at all their subs being exposed and humiliated in a clip gathering hundreds of millions of views.

She has quite a lot of interaction with her readership (as do I when the sodding spam filter permits it). She encourages readers to send in their dick pics, for example, often with the dicks in question artfully arranged in vases, or hung as Christmas decorations. She prefers not to receive any of the actual dicks, of course, as the postal service gets funny about that sort of thing, but a few over-enthusiastic readers do like to send her their best cuttings.

Mistress Iris, of course. But you knew that. Pervert.

They also serve, who only scurry and cringe.

In today’s cut-throat business world, any opportunity for effective networking should be taken up. The other businessman featured here was due to go to Davos but his PA messed up and booked him in OWK instead. Poor thing, she must have felt awful about her mistake.

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword

The back is mostly devoted to warnings about how ugly the front is. But fortunately it’s quite hard to read through all the welts.

Those early feminist books were groundbreaking, but modern female supremacist thinking, with its emphasis on sexual inequality and the importance of women’s autonomy over their boys’ bodies, has moved on.

Their corporate philosophy is that every boy can progress to the absolute limit of his potential, with the right guidance and incentives.

And some sexists think that boys are better at quantitative skills than girls! I’d like to see them beat her at this game.

She doesn’t mind being stopped in the street by admirers. She’s even got a little ‘E’ mini branding iron and is only too happy to heat it up with a lighter, for an autograph.

And never brought to mind?

Another year dawns, full of hope and denial. Wishing all my male readers a humiliating and unpleasant year, in which your desires, dreams and fingertips are all crushed beneath an elegant boot.

No doubt, many of you printed off and proudly hung up last year’s CtD calendar, featuring the moist and pungent girls of our sister publication, Armpit Fetishist Monthly. Slightly pointlessly, because it didn’t actually have any dates on it, but no one ever said males were smart, right?

This year’s calendar is equally pointless, to match your pointless lives. It’s a chastity calendar, or chastendar as no one likes to say, in which the absence of any dates allows you all to avoid the misery of noticing that she has not circled one single day in red. Maybe one day she will? Anyway: another year… 365 days… more than thirty-one million seconds, I understand. Enjoy watching them tick by…

Boxing stupid

Yes, it’s Boxing Day. A day I have come to realise is culturally specific to the UK and a few other places that are a bit like the UK, but not as damp and with fewer bat-tunnels. It’s one of those phrases that non-British people often fail to understand, like ‘having a fag in the back alley’ (you can also be a fag, for an older boy at boarding school, of course); or making sure ‘your child always has a rubber in his schoolbag’, as the teachers don’t provide them, or ‘letting some woman piss in your ring-gagged mouth’, which is just an idiomatic way of saying you’ll take her advice (“Oh, I don’t know which movie to go and see, darling: just ring-gag my jaw wide open and you can piss in my mouth, OK?”)*

Anyway, traditionally a day for tidying up after the excesses of the day before, although some people are more active: many hunts go out on Boxing Day, for example, with whips cracking and horns blaring as they pursure their terrified quarry across the fields, and some hardy souls even have a tradition of jumping naked into the sea, here in Britain on one of the coldest days of the year. My SO has very thoughtfully signed me up for all three of these festive activities, so I’ve no time for a themed post, just the usual dross.

Forget Kurt. Well… don’t forget him, obviously: he still needs his laundy done and his appartment cleaned. But the important thing is that your chastity regime should be right for *you* and that’s what she’s focused on.

Wow, tough situation! Thank goodness she’s there for him.

Looks like babe brought a pineapple, though, and I’m sure there are some bits of that that could be put to good use.

She was a little disappointed that Dr Taylor insisted on anesthetising you for the procedure, but there’ll be plenty of time later, when you’ll have the feeling restored in all of the bits of your body that remain attached.

I booked a ‘mean date’ session with a sex worker and she didn’t even show up! Wonderful. It’s so rare for someone just to ‘get me’ like that.

Some men find it hard to adapt to a female supremacist work environment, but it’s actually very straightforward as long as you just follow a few simple rules – or a lot of complicated rules, if that’s what she prefers.

* All right, I made that last one up. I make a lot of stuff up, here. But you should try it, I mean you never know, right? And there are never any good movies around, just after Christmas, so it’s good to find alternative ways of entertaining yourselves.