Category: caption

Apologetics

…a word that doesn’t mean what you probably think it means, as it is a form of ‘systematic argumentative discourse’. So probably not recommended in the sorts of relationships this blog favours, where apologies should be simple, heartfelt (and felt in other parts of the body too) and frequent.

I’ll confess I’ve never understood men who want to cheat on their partners or imagine they can get away with it. It’s not as if any lady’s going to fail to notice a second padlock hanging there on my chastity belt.
My SO is constantly ‘encouraging’ me to learn new dance routines to entertain her bulls, but none of them seem like the sort of guys who really enjoy watching dance, so I hope they don’t get too bored by it all.
Fortunately, Kate’s unlikely to reach the prize first as she’s too soft-hearted to use the whip on her horse, the sweet thing. She doesn’t believe in cruelty to animals.

Not The Hunt, for those of you paying attention to such matters, this is more of an informal social thing, with friends and less death.

He’s not even doing any work, just hanging around the office.
The silly thing’s forgotten to put a blouse on – perhaps you should remind her?
Reminds me of the time I decided to try some vanilla so I booked a sex worker who offered ‘a real girlfriend experience’. Bloody hell… I’m into humiliation and abuse, but not that much!

Wait until she gets home

And if, when she does, she doesn’t come to open the cage, you can wait until she goes out again, too, and then start the whole thing all over again. It helps pass the time.

The occasional spanking can form part of a healthy and mutually-respectful relationship… as well as the sorts of relationships celebrated on this blog too, obviousy.
If it’s any consolation, she is actually wearing silk underwear.
She’s determined to make fetch happen.
It was this or the kennels and that can just be more trouble than it’s worth. All that fuss about how they generally only take dogs and cats… speciesism, that’s what it is.
She needs to develop techniques to relax, maybe take some of the tension away, especially if she’s going to be watching a lot of castrations. I expect going to lie down in the nurse’s room will help.
Apparently, the priest is planning to preach a sermon on practising thankfulness in marriage, which seems very apposite.

Strict Instructions

Sissies aren’t good at lying. Or thinking hard.
They don’t go in for gratuitous cruelty at OWK – professional work should be paid for.
Actually, she’s had this one for years, it’s just that she rarely brings it out.
It does apply, but it’s still a girl who consents, on his behalf. It’s just easier that way.
Actually, having a proper slave to whom she could do whatever she liked ended up making Janice a much nicer person, oddly enough. Maybe it helped her divert her anger and frustations away from her friends and co-workers, I dunno.
Of course, male users in Europe will have to click a box giving permission for the use of their information under GDPR rules, when signing up. Important that everyone’s rights are protected.

But you won’t cry, I know

Angry tears are too dear.

She likes it when you say please and thank you, but you need to get used to saying them quickly, because once she starts using alternating hands, it gets pretty fast.
Men need to take responsibility for their own behaviour. His body, his fault.
They say when you’re in a hole it’s best to stop digging… although my experience has always been that if I’m digging a hole I’d better damn well keep digging as fast as I can, until she tells me to stop.
Don’t get your hopes up, she rarely keeps the boys she collects when she’s out.
And if she does finally snap and put you on the leash, for goodness’ sake don’t make her drag you along. It’s not fair to expect her to do all the work in the relationship.
She doesn’t realise what a career boost a photo feature in AFM can provide. Take a look at some of the shots from the magazine I’ve featured here – A-listers, almost all of them.*

* Fans of AFM – yes, there are some, you’re not the weirdest reader of this blog, you know, not by a long chalk – can look forward to a great start to 2025. No spoilers, though.

It’s your own fault, darling.

So stop making excuses.

It must be terrible for Raoul, thinking about and wanting sex all the time and but having sometimes to spend entire days without it. No wonder he lashes out at you, the poor frustrated guy.
The smell can get pretty bad but it never reaches the guards’ quarters, so no one suffers who isn’t supposed to.
Don’t worry, they haven’t been tested on animals; the pharmaceutical company that makes them has a cruelty-free policy.
Many men who embark on a serious chastity relationship end up being quite surprised at how infrequently they really need an orgasm. I haven’t needed one for years now, apparently.
Guys: you shouldn’t be shy about telling your date what you like to do. I’m sure most women would vastly prefer to watch you sweatily wank on their boots than actually letting you touch them.
You might have safety concerns about such a woman being in a male institution – but don’t. Any male prisoners with whom she has to share a cell will be physically restrained before the door is slammed shut leaving her alone with them for the night, so she should be safe enough. Anyway, she seems cheerful enough at the prospect of it, the brave young thing.

Wicked, flagitious, tyrannical acts

If you’re worried about whether you’ll be able to please her sexually – don’t be. You have plenty of pain receptors and a full set of vocal chords, and that’s all you’ll need.
Obviously, I visit sex workers, although I have to confess I’ve never really understood why the ladies I visit call themselves by that title.
Looks to me like they’re considering him quite seriously already. I think he’s got a good chance of getting through to the next stage: in-depth assessment.
She’s just looking for the right man. I’m sure when she does find him, she’ll keep him.
I expect he’ll be taking those opportunities; it would be so ungrateful not to.

Spare the rod and spoil the marriage

Don’t worry: these ladies won’t.

Some wives are actually quite liberal in extending ‘permission to ask’ – one of my SO’s friends lets her boys beg whenever they like, says she rather enjoys it.
Especially when you’re wearing the pink one.
Of course, if you don’t enjoy it, you can always just wait until she orders you to argue or complain, then you can tell her all about how you feel.
For non-British readers; if a domme ever accuses you of ‘taking the piss’, she’s not referring to your impressive swallowing technique during toilet-play, she’s probably quite cross with you (‘pissed-off’ even).
If she holds her hand in the right place, they won’t see the leash, either.
One of my SO’s former girlfriends was an ears, nose and throat specialist. It was quite a relief when I discovered she specialised in removing tonsils, not ‘tonsils’.

… and as an extra, here’s a sweet little femdom video if you like that sort of thing.

Petrology

Special post today, featuring a lady you’re going to see a lot more of on this blog in – what? No, I don’t mean you’re literally going to see more of her, you nasty little pervert, I mean you are going to see the same bits of her more frequently. OK? I mean what sort of blog do you think this is? – sorry, where was I? Yes: this is Petra and you’re going to see her freqently here because there are tonnes of pictures of her out there and I think every single one of them looks very lovely indeed, so I have captioned at least half a tonne of them myself.

She is actually the star of a foot fetish site, as the logos in the images imply, and obviously if you really like this sort of thing I would encourage you to take out a subscription and have a look.

She is even into feet herself, as the bio at the front of the site explains, and honestly if you can’t believe what you read on a porn site in this day and age, then what are you going to believe, hmm?

For me, although I’m sure her feet are lovely – and very feety – for me, it is more her amused, sweet mocking expression that drives me absolutely wild.

So almost all of the ‘petrology’ captions are also about being driven absolutely wild, in that they suppose she is the keyholder in some insanely over-complicated and strict commercial chastity / findomme arrangement. Teasing, denial… rinse and repeat. With an Italian accent, obviously.

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