brutality – Contemplating the divine

An Angel before you to keep you in the way

Definitely an angel. Angels in the bible did a lot of smiting, too.

Many mistress-slave agreements consist almost entirely of penalty clauses, actually.

It was actually Margot Robbie’s performance in this movie – in which she pushes a steel rod through this chap’s eye in the end of this scene, amusingly enough – which got her the gig in Barbie. But they changed the Barbie screenplay, retaining the ‘women’s world’ theme but giving it more ‘mainstream acceptability’ by removing the torture scenes and most references to castration. And they wonder why people say cinema’s lost its magic.

That seems a bit dismissive. My SO always lets me plead for a while.

I can take the beatings but sarcasm is a hard limit for me.

How excited, exactly?

She knows, she just doesn’t care

Erm, right, thank you, Ma’am.. Miss… Ma’am. Yes… well, you see, it’s like this. I don’t – or at least, let me start another way, erm…well, I’ve been thinking, erm… in my own time, obviously, and, errr… well…

Salmon? What – real fresh salmon? Then how is she ever going to persude him to eat the tin of disgusting, gristly cat food with jelly I saw her get out? I’m not sure she’s thought this through.

What an astonishing plot arc. They’ll win prizes for originality for that, for sure.

Marie’s not really selfish. She was just enjoying herself so much she didn’t think about how much she was leaving for others to play with, that’s all. Don’t judge her harshly.

Don’t worry: these bouts are more about play-acting than real violence. Anyway, I expect the medics can sew it back on; I’m pretty sure she didn’t swallow.

Looks like a nice gentle start to the session… maybe you should try some brattish behaviour, to liven things up?

Magic moments

Evil witches, beautiful princesses and wicked stepmothers – or best of all, ladies who are all three of those things.

Let’s hope she doesn’t forget you’re there.

So easy to end up with a home full of clutter – have the courage to just throw it all out, the experts say.

You’re not going to live happily or ever after (though it might seem like forever).

She’s perfectly prepared to marry him, of course, and have him installed next to her bedroom. Just nothing unhygienic.

I don’t see why she can’t just pop round to her local dodo butcher and see if they can let her have some. This is Contemplating the Divine, after all, none of it is tethered to tedious reality.

People sometimes get confused when the devils are dressed as angels, but in fact there’s no difference between the two.

She is your everything

… which is just as well, as you’re her nothing.

Oddly enough, I was actually engaged in SPH play years before I even knew what it was – in the school changing room, for instance. I guess I’m just a natural.

Don’t worry, she generally just takes little light puffs, she doesn’t pull on it to drag it down quickly. Unless she’s had a hard day or something like that, obviously.

In a very real sense, marriage to her is a stress position, so it’s all good practice.

I find being on a leash quite reassuring. My SO got one of those extendable ones – you know, that have a kind of wheel that can pay out to allow the pet to run off some way – and I have to say, I felt almost agoraphobic with it on. Unfortunately, it broke one day when I was fetching it, and after a good hard discussion of why ‘it broke’ I was dragged out of the door on the good old chain.

Bunnies are actually savage little creatures. True fact (read Watership Down). Perhaps that’s what inspires these lovely ladies.

Hmm… looks like Jake was a bit surprised by that! He really shouldn’t have been – anyone could have guessed that Bluetooth connectivity was likely to come up. Now he’s going to get all embarrassed by having his ignorance shown up right there on stage.

Wicked, flagitious, tyrannical acts

If you’re worried about whether you’ll be able to please her sexually – don’t be. You have plenty of pain receptors and a full set of vocal chords, and that’s all you’ll need.

Obviously, I visit sex workers, although I have to confess I’ve never really understood why the ladies I visit call themselves by that title.

Looks to me like they’re considering him quite seriously already. I think he’s got a good chance of getting through to the next stage: in-depth assessment.

She’s just looking for the right man. I’m sure when she does find him, she’ll keep him.

I expect he’ll be taking those opportunities; it would be so ungrateful not to.

Now, please, darling

She’s right, of course.

Sometimes Lisa quite likes dealing with the easier cases who break almost immediately, for a change: it gives her a chance to explore some techniques without any pressure. Plus, she enjoys the terrified pleading and screaming.

They’re thinking of making it a compulsory module, so most nurses will have had at least some experience of castrating males. Although they never had any lack of volunteers when it was optional.

Oh, I don’t know. One of my SO’s boyfriends gave me a contempt fuck one day and it was quite memorable.

Or breathe in to hang around abit longer – up to you. She’d rather get on with it, but just this once I think she might let you choose.

It’s obviously been bothering her a lot, poor thing.

Days of their lives

The OWK ladies once more reminisce to a fictional (but enviable) interviewer, about the best of the best of days. In fact, they reminisce at great length, at least in comparison to the space available for an ordinary caption…

Perhaps one day I’ll post the transcript of the whole interview here, if I ever get round to making it up.

Treat you with a vengeance

From a song by the lovely Toyah. She once interviewed the strange, rather disturbing but oddly exciting Miss Martindale, of Aristasia fame, you know.

Images are unrelated, unless they’re not.

You might want to keep it handy; I sense it’s going to be one of those days.

Keep calm, she’s a professional, she does this all day.

Hope you like dust.

The key is to listen to both sides of the story, then ignore whatever the male said. After that, it should be easy enough to get both sides to agree who was at fault and on the appropriate course of action.

The easy way was difficult, but this is – oddly – going to go a lot more smoothly. She’s quite determined, so that’s that.

Don’t be such a wimp. Don’t you trust her?

Whips and whims

Don’t forget your morning prayers too.

If love is there, honouring and obeying should come naturally. And if they don’t, I’m sure she can find an alternative means to encourage them.

He has… but here’s only so much misbehaviour you can get up to, muzzled and on a leash.

Don’t worry: she won’t whip you any more than necessary.

My SO finds it very upsetting when our cat catches a mouse and plays with it so cruelly. As she says, there’s a 50% chance the poor little thing is female.

It’s a future-proofed profession, because although technology obviously could automate the basic function of shit-carrying, it could never provide the same satisfaction forcing a male to do that provides to the onlooker.

Cruelty is its own reward

…but you often still have to pay her for it.

I suppose there comes a point when, if she’s gradually cut away every piece of you that isn’t your genitals, there’s only the genitals left. But then isn’t that equivalent to castrating you? Interesting philosophical question, there, to help you while away the time as you dangle in mute agony.

She has a low boredom threshold, so best not to keep going on about it.

My pain tolerance level has increased slightly over the years but unfortunately so has my SO’s.

Sharp-eyed readers (or just those who spend a lot of time wanking on the Internet) will of course recognise the lovely Goddess Mina Thorne.

You’ll soon learn about what’s important to her and what isn’t.

When they talk later, I expect she’ll need to release a lot of that anger and he’ll need – will desperately need – to release other things.

Actually, in a sense he’s getting off lightly. He was sentenced to 35 years but he’ll actually only have done 34 years, 364 days and about 12 hours. Lucky bastard, I hope he appreciates it.